Do_The_Herp Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 First off, I've got no height insecurities like some on this board. I'm of average height.. But, this was annoying.. Not the preference/requirement itself.. "My shoe closet consists primarily of 4”+ heels. That combined with my semi-above average height makes me pretty tall for a girl; so naturally, I'm looking for someone tall." This girl in particular was TALL, by the way. Not very tall, but still a few inches taller than the average female. Almost as tall as the average US male. I can see why she'd prefer someone taller, but at the same time, it comes down to this.. In any other form of footwear, she'd be shorter than the half of the US male population that meets or exceeds the statistical average (hopefully that would be generally correct? I'm actually a bit unfamiliar with statistical averages).. Does she spend her life in heels, dancing in the club? Does she base her happiness and self-worth on how others perceive her and her partner by extension? A sad way to live, but that's merely my opinion. Why is being a slave to a weird social rule less "shallow" or "superficial" or generally lame than her simply being exclusively attracted to tall guys? I feel bad for her feet more than anything, actually.
TXGuy Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I'm a guy and barely average height myself. I have a few pet peeves about women and their expectations, but for some reason, the frequent height requirement does not bother me. It became much easier for me when I simply embraced the fact that double standards applied to both men and women. If their profile is silent, feel free to chase women of any height. I've dated women substantially taller than me. It isn't an issue unless one of you makes it one (which happens occasionally). If anyone else brings it up, shrug it off. Who cares what they think. But, I generally respect a woman's OLD profile height preference. If they went to the trouble of putting it in their profile, then it is likely an issue for them. But if she totally knocks your socks off aside from that, it doesn't hurt to give it a try. I'd suggest emphasizing why you think the two of you are such a match and not address the height thing. She is smart enough to look on your profile and do the math. If she is not into you because of your height, oh well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I would suggest never fudging about your height, even by an inch or two. 3
topaMAXX Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I suggest quitting OLD altogether. If you are a short guy like myself, there is little to no success to be had there. Real life is a completely different story though. 1
GemmaUK Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I was talking to a woman at work about the subject of heels last week. There's a few ladies where we work who wear incredibly high heels and platform shoes. They wear them all day at work and drive in them as well. (I can't see how that can be safe considering driving in flip fops is illegal). Two of these ladies have been told by specialists that they should completely stop wearing any kind of heel as the structure of their feet is basically crushing inwards. (one is aged 40, the other 32) One has had a knee operation and is awaiting an operation on her back (both due to heels). She is aged 32 also. The heel heights they wear are 4-7 inches including platforms. They actually can't even walk properly in them. Heels as high as this are just a fashion item at the moment - they'll go out of fashion just like they did the last time. 1
Author Do_The_Herp Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 I was talking to a woman at work about the subject of heels last week. There's a few ladies where we work who wear incredibly high heels and platform shoes. They wear them all day at work and drive in them as well. (I can't see how that can be safe considering driving in flip fops is illegal). Two of these ladies have been told by specialists that they should completely stop wearing any kind of heel as the structure of their feet is basically crushing inwards. (one is aged 40, the other 32) One has had a knee operation and is awaiting an operation on her back (both due to heels). She is aged 32 also. The heel heights they wear are 4-7 inches including platforms. They actually can't even walk properly in them. Heels as high as this are just a fashion item at the moment - they'll go out of fashion just like they did the last time. Holy ****... 7 inches? I was exaggerating with the whole half-foot stilettos.. Seriously, is that even fashionable, or just tacky and try-hard looking? I'd think that it was funny but feel bad, hoping that they didn't trip on a pebble or something and fall on their face.. But.. Wow.. It's sad that those women had to learn the incredibly hard way. Probably ignored all of the signs for FAR too long, and that's where it got them. Just goes to show.. What a shame, and it's sound like they're really young, too. Already tacking on major health problems and surgery.. Like women into the unhealthy practice of tanning.. Eww. I think that even 2 inch heels can be sexy and dressy/classy.. Probably still not too good for your feet, but.. Anything more is just silly to me. But if it were a matter of health, I wouldn't care if my partner ever wore heels. They'd still be sexy to me. 1
GemmaUK Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Holy ****... 7 inches? I was exaggerating with the whole half-foot stilettos.. Seriously, is that even fashionable, or just tacky and try-hard looking? I'd think that it was funny but feel bad, hoping that they didn't trip on a pebble or something and fall on their face.. But.. Wow.. It's sad that those women had to learn the incredibly hard way. Probably ignored all of the signs for FAR too long, and that's where it got them. Just goes to show.. What a shame, and it's sound like they're really young, too. Already tacking on major health problems and surgery.. Like women into the unhealthy practice of tanning.. Eww. I think that even 2 inch heels can be sexy and dressy/classy.. Probably still not too good for your feet, but.. Anything more is just silly to me. But if it were a matter of health, I wouldn't care if my partner ever wore heels. They'd still be sexy to me. I forgot to say....they all still wear the heels.... My 3 inch heels mostly sit in my wardrobe... 2.5 inches can wear all day except for walking to and from work. I'm only 5ft though without heels! I have often wondered how men feel about these mega high heels though and well...that lady on OLD...she could well be in wheelchair soon...kinda makes you think....!
Mo_Do Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 There are so many women online dating, I don't know why you guys are so up in arms about certain ones. If her profile suggests that she wants a partner that's taller than you are, click NEXT. Who ******* cares! 4
OhThatGirl Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I wear heels a couple inches tall fairly often. My go-to outfit for dinner or really anything except running errands is a pair of skinny jeans and heels. Got a closet full of them. I'm 5'5"... Would I like a guy taller than me when I'm wearing heels? Yep. Is it a requirement? Nah. If anything I think it's an insecurity thing. Girls are "supposed to be" petite, smaller than their man. So if I'm taller than him in my usual wear I'm feeling "too big" despite being pretty thin. But one guy on OLD caught my eye. He was 5'6" and I was cool with it. I just realize I would probably want to limit my wearing of heels. All the time? No way. But maybe opt for flats once in a while too. We never went out. Just as easily he could have been looking for someone shorter. Oh well. Height isn't that big of a deal. Just believe it's more an insecurity of the girls not wanting to feel "too big" with the guy, not that he's necessarily "too small." 2
somedude81 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Girls are "supposed to be" petite, smaller than their man. So if I'm taller than him in my usual wear I'm feeling "too big" despite being pretty thin. I'll never understand that if women are the ones who are supposed to be smaller, why are they the ones who wear heels? Shouldn't it be the other way around? 3
Mascara Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 You know it's not really about wearing heels don't you? It's about saying "I don't find shorter than 6' men attractive, but I'm trying to say it in a way that won't be hurtful" In much the same way that men say they like thin girls "but only for health reasons" 4
kaylan Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Its OLD and some chicks think its a dating supermarket where they can easily get exactly what they want. Its not like they havent been screwed before by guys who arent taller than them in heels, its just that a lot of women go online thinking the exact kind of guy they want will easily fall into their lap. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Its OLD and some chicks think its a dating supermarket where they can easily get exactly what they want. Its not like they havent been screwed before by guys who arent taller than them in heels, its just that a lot of women go online thinking the exact kind of guy they want will easily fall into their lap. This OP. People on OLD put in requirements for a mate which are often based on what they are "supposed to like", rather than what they actually like. So the average US woman (white) who is supposed to like white males, 6' or taller, who make 2x as much money as them. They have to look like Payton Manning. As if they are afraid someone will judge them for who they would choose, and some people would. When in reality the same woman will date men of a variety of heights, races, incomes, and looks. Whoever tickles their fancy. Think of it this way, often, on OLD women are looking for this guy. http://patinaspromise.tripod.com/toppers/50sbridegroombelltopper.jpg Someone who will look a certain way in pictures with them for their dream wedding or whatever. Men certainly do similar things...but as someone who dates both...men do take less of a shopping list approach than women. Just accept that bit of psychology and work with it. Forget OLD and meet a woman in real life. 1
quidproquo89 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 this is quite an interesting thread. This question of height can also be put to all sort of things. Like for example, if a guy is slim, will he get far less attention then a muscly guy? Shy guy get less attention than a more extrovert guy. Or girl. Its that question about insecurity and what not. Almost like survival of the fittest, but in the dating world. Probably just rambling lol, perhaps I got my message across
quidproquo89 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 this is quite an interesting thread. This question of height can also be put to all sort of things. Like for example, if a guy is slim, will he get far less attention then a muscly guy? Shy guy get less attention than a more extrovert guy. Or girl. Its that question about insecurity and what not. Almost like survival of the fittest, but in the dating world. Probably just rambling lol, perhaps I got my message across sort of like, hypothetically speaking - you have two guys with the same personality, but one is tall and the other short. Does that automatically put the shorter guy at a disadvantage. Didn't mean this to sound like shorter people are worse than taller, just following the 'idea' of the thread.
Gaeta Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 OLD is full of petite women like myself (5'3'') and my daughter (5'1''). At our height every man is tall. 1
Lernaean_Hydra Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Oh, this again? I'll never understand the issue some people seem to have with women who wear heels and/or "require" taller mates. When I was younger and fatter (say, 18/19) I wore heels to three places and three places only: weddings, funerals and interviews. Now that I'm in my 20s (and 100lbs lighter) I wear heels practically everywhere, everyday unless it would be totally impractical (like say, grocery shopping to the beach). I'm not a slave to anything, I just like wearing them. I like the way I look in them, I like that my they accentuate my calves and my butt, not to mention keep my posture in check. And I never "suffer" with them. If they hurt me, or my back they get donated to Goodwill. I personally have no problem with short guys. Being only5'4.5/ 5'5 myself leaves a lot of wiggle room in terms of height. However, I only needed three or four shorter guys to become visibly uncomfortable with our height difference with me in heels to fully understand where these women are coming from. You guys really just don't understand how often us heel loving and/or taller women have encountered the insecure short fellow. I'm not going to not wear heels because it makes a guy feel some type of way. I'm also not going to spend half my date slouching to accommodate his inferiority complex. If I were a bit more picky I'd definitely be one to go for taller guys just because of my negative experiences with shorter ones. But thankfully it seems I've lucked out for the time being. The guy I'm seeing now is just an inch taller than me. He actually loves me in heels and doesn't mind the difference. In fact, when I wore 4"+ heels this weekend the only thing he said was 'damn you look so tall" ...and then we proceeded to have sex with me still wearing them. TMI aside, I really feel like you guys who get offended should at least try to see another perspective. And you know what, even IF they were just women who were heigh junkies, what does it matter to you? There are plenty of women who wouldn't be interested in you for various reasons and plenty who would. Why be so upset of something you can't change?
acrosstheuniverse Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 It's nothing to do with wanting to wear heels, it's a polite way of saying she wants a tall guy without coming across as shallow. Like, I would prefer a tall guy but that's my problem because I love heels! Bet you she'd rather have a guy taller than her even in flats. I'm 5ft 9 without heels and 6ft with them. Not gonna lie, I'd PREFER a taller guy, and have dated guys that were 6ft 5 and absolutely loved that. But I realised while dating that it truly doesn't matter, I went on a date with a 5ft 6 guy and it didn't bother me too much, until it felt awkward stood kissing and him looking up to me (I wore flats because I didn't know his height prior to the date, just in case). My current bf is exactly my height and I will still wear heels when we go out and be taller than him, it's nothing.
hasaquestion Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 This OP. People on OLD put in requirements for a mate which are often based on what they are "supposed to like", rather than what they actually like. So the average US woman (white) who is supposed to like white males, 6' or taller, who make 2x as much money as them. They have to look like Payton Manning. As if they are afraid someone will judge them for who they would choose, and some people would. When in reality the same woman will date men of a variety of heights, races, incomes, and looks. Whoever tickles their fancy. Think of it this way, often, on OLD women are looking for this guy. http://patinaspromise.tripod.com/toppers/50sbridegroombelltopper.jpg Someone who will look a certain way in pictures with them for their dream wedding or whatever. Men certainly do similar things...but as someone who dates both...men do take less of a shopping list approach than women. Just accept that bit of psychology and work with it. Forget OLD and meet a woman in real life. Your standards for male beauty are unusual, to say the least. Premise is right though. You shop around online. You're less picky in real life. 1
Survivor12 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Wearing heels isn't about being taller. They also make legs appear longer & more shapely, and wearing them can make a woman feel "longer & leaner" & more feminine. You know, women don't JUST dress for men...in fact, it has been said (& I agree) that women dress more for other women than for men. Also, the way we dress has a lot to do with what makes feel good about ourselves. Just my 2 cents.
soccerrprp Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I suggest quitting OLD altogether. If you are a short guy like myself, there is little to no success to be had there. Real life is a completely different story though. I'm 5'6 and have had plenty of success from OLD. There are many women out there THAT DON'T care about whether you're 6+ inches taller than they are. I've date women as tall as 5'8 w/o issues (not with height anyway ). 1
iiiii Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Women tend to like guys who are tall and strong. Guys tend to like women who are pretty and slim. Unfair perhaps, but it's just the way the world works. Most people of both genders will make exceptions if they really hit it off. This girl may be rationalizing her preferences by saying it's about high heels, but it's not unusual (or inappropriate) for her to prefer a tall guy. 1
Author Do_The_Herp Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 I'm not actually that invested in height specifically. I was going to post a thread full of all sorts of stupid **** women say in profiles, but I chose to just focus on this one thing because it's the last thing I'd read on a profile that made me want to message them and tell them that they're doing it wrong.. I've actually message women who would respond negatively but end up specifically changing the one thing that I'd messaged them about. I wasn't attracted to them in any way, but there was a desire to help them come across as less abrasive, more pleasant.. Maybe that was only putting a band aid over a flesh wound. I digress. There wasn't really anything glaringly wrong with the girl's requirement. It wasn't really a preference, she just gave a reason to justify it being an exclusive requirement rather than a mere preference that leaves room for exception. And a poor reason at that, I think, that any guy could see through. It'd leave a better impression to be honest, or just omit it and filter accordingly. Hopefully it doesn't filter out a perfect match, or severely limit her options. I can see that this will shift into a general height discussion with quite a few men projecting their insecurities, and maybe even some height obsessed women who will spout some stupid bs, so I have just a little bit more to say before I start to lose interest.
preraph Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I'm with you. I mostly feel bad for her feet. But she's made her choice. It's possible she's in some industry or setting where you must dress way up to be accepted. If so, there's no getting around heels. Otherwise, she's just chosen to go the way of the Kardashians and prop herself on up there and demand a tall man. Not much you can do about it, but I see what you're saying. You probably need someone less all about clothes, shoes. 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Had a gf once who said she had a short ex-bf that forbade her from ever wearing heals if they went out together. Lol always thought that was insane. 1
Author Do_The_Herp Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 Women tend to like guys who are tall and strong. Guys tend to like women who are pretty and slim. Unfair perhaps, but it's just the way the world works. Most people of both genders will make exceptions if they really hit it off. This girl may be rationalizing her preferences by saying it's about high heels, but it's not unusual (or inappropriate) for her to prefer a tall guy. Being of statistically average height barefoot, I don't see my height as either a negative or positive for most women. I've personally seen so many "exceptions" to this whole height/looks/ect. rule.. I feel like the supposed online exception is more the rule.. It's all just perception. Ironically, one's weight to height ratio is a much greater indicator of overall health than height alone is.. Worrying about a relatively overweight person is more justifiable than simply caring if a guy's tall, even if he's arguably less healthy genetically or in worse shape than a relatively shorter fellow. I don't really find it unfair, that wasn't the purpose of this thread. Of all the things I feel that I could be insecure about, that's one thing that is pointless to bust any capillaries over, and I really am not particularly lacking there.
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