natwilliams Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 This girl invited me over on the third date. Invites me onto her bed, closes the door, and starts really making out with me. Then just as our pants are off she asks to stop and gets awkward. Shortly after it felt like I should leave so I did. She hasn't wanted to talk or meet up since then. ... Could it be something about my body she didn't like? I'm pretty fit, albeit a bit hairy. Although I do trim. Maybe that looked dumb to her? Could it be she thought she was being too easy? Could she be insecure? (She did say kind of jokingly "you're too good for me" when she saw that I'm fit, and she's not exactly). Could it be that I just need to give her space. I do REALLY like her so if anyone has a thoughtful suggestion I would appreciate it very much.
TXGuy Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I think you came across as too much of a 'nice guy'. Many women prefer to sleep with men who are smooth enough so that 'it just happened.' You can keep trying with this one if you want, but don't get your hopes up. Keep looking. You should be able to find a woman who is comfortable with your pace. 1
topaMAXX Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 THIS. Well said. OP, you have to learn how to escalate with women. What you experienced was basic LMR (Last Minute Resistance). When she said stop, you smile and stop for like a few seconds then you start kissing her again. When a woman's LMR kicks in, you employ the stop and start technique with a little bit of humor. Here’s what you do: Agree with her and stop. Put absolutely NO pressure on her to have sex. Here’s what some other guys might do. HER: “We should stop.” GUY: “But baby what’s wrong…” And then LOGIC her to death. Instead, say this: “I know. We should stop. We shouldn’t be doing this. And we certainly shouldn’t be doing this!” Then playfully nibble her ear or kiss her neck or tickle her. Make her laugh and turn her on at the same time. I mean, she’s in bed with you. It’s just token resistance at this point. She just wants you to know she doesn’t normally do this. That’s all. Just remember, women LOVE sex. They WANT to get ****ed. She might struggle with a little anxiety beforehand, but she wants it. It’s your job to make her FEEL… let me emphasize that word, FEEL, not intellectually debate, manipulate or force, FEEL… comfortable getting what she really, really wants anyway. This is true, but, at the same time, if you're looking for someone long-term, a girl that does this is not the one. Because if you're able to get through her last minute resistance, best believe that others guys are too....and other guys have. That's probably why she isn't getting back to you, OP. Some other guy broke through it right after you didn't. Just something to think about.
topaMAXX Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 There is no such thing as "the one". That's just Disney rubbish and social media nonsense. No man owns any woman. As a man, anytime you are starting something with a woman, simply see it as "your turn". Only time will go on to prove if she is "the one". You took my use of the phrase out of context. I meant that if she does that, then she is not long-term girlfriend material. Sorry, but getting into a relationship with the type of girl that you describe (one that has had sex with multiple men and continues to) is an awful idea. Better to find a girl with some self respect.
Tiger Lily Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Maybe she has stomach issues and felt a bout of flatulence coming on. Now she's scared to get close again. j/k op. That's what I thought this thread was about for some reason.
topaMAXX Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 LMR is a basic instinct from the majority of the female species. It's not something that is exclusive to one type of woman or the other. Even the most stable or righteous of women will have LMR. It's just basic instinct and it's nothing bad. LOL, yeah quit the PUA nonsense bro. It's lame. 1
TXGuy Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 LOL, yeah quit the PUA nonsense bro. It's lame. TopaMaxx: From another post, you mention that you are shorter than average and have had limited success with OLD. I'm surprised you badmouth game. Sure there is a lot of silly PUA techniques, but figuring out game is the difference between night and day; particularly if you are not conventionally tall, dark, and hansom.
topaMAXX Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 TopaMaxx: From another post, you mention that you are shorter than average and have had limited success with OLD. I'm surprised you badmouth game. Sure there is a lot of silly PUA techniques, but figuring out game is the difference between night and day; particularly if you are not conventionally tall, dark, and hansom. I have game, which is why I get girls in real life. But game and PUA are two different things.
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Another thing is the girl could just be a tease. Works you right up to the point of banging and then does a 180. A lame game of boosting her own ego. I'd give her one more chance to redeem herself. But considering she's not contacting much maybe just best to move on from this one.
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I have game, which is why I get girls in real life. But game and PUA are two different things. I've never used PUA stuff but whenever I run across it I go "ah, that's kind of neat." Some of the stuff seems decent.
TXGuy Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Another thing is the girl could just be a tease. Works you right up to the point of banging and then does a 180. A lame game of boosting her own ego. I'd give her one more chance to redeem herself. But considering she's not contacting much maybe just best to move on from this one. My guess was it was a 'compliance' test that he failed. But otherwise I agree with you. One more chance (with low probability) and move on.
topaMAXX Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I've never used PUA stuff but whenever I run across it I go "ah, that's kind of neat." Some of the stuff seems decent. I was into PUA for a long time. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. The only kinds of girls I ever met while doing that were very trashy girls with personality disorders. Is it good for getting experience? Sure. Overall, the techniques are good for getting laid. If you want something more long-term, I'd say stay away from it. The girl will find out who you really are eventually. Also, I used to run in PUA circles. Many of these guys are bums with no jobs and nothing else going on in their lives besides chasing girls around. Damn, I could go on and on about it....but I'll stop here.
topaMAXX Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I have game, which is why I get girls in real life. But game and PUA are two different things. Also, as I stated before, I have a very good looking face and a naturally fun, outgoing personality. I thank God every day for blessing me with these two things, despite short-changing me () on height. I believe that those 2 things help me just as much, if not more, than game itself.
OhThatGirl Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 THIS. Well said. OP, you have to learn how to escalate with women. What you experienced was basic LMR (Last Minute Resistance). When she said stop, you smile and stop for like a few seconds then you start kissing her again. When a woman's LMR kicks in, you employ the stop and start technique with a little bit of humor. Here’s what you do: Agree with her and stop. Put absolutely NO pressure on her to have sex. Here’s what some other guys might do. HER: “We should stop.” GUY: “But baby what’s wrong…” And then LOGIC her to death. Instead, say this: “I know. We should stop. We shouldn’t be doing this. And we certainly shouldn’t be doing this!” Then playfully nibble her ear or kiss her neck or tickle her. Make her laugh and turn her on at the same time. I mean, she’s in bed with you. It’s just token resistance at this point. She just wants you to know she doesn’t normally do this. That’s all. Just remember, women LOVE sex. They WANT to get ****ed. She might struggle with a little anxiety beforehand, but she wants it. It’s your job to make her FEEL… let me emphasize that word, FEEL, not intellectually debate, manipulate or force, FEEL… comfortable getting what she really, really wants anyway. If someone did this bull**** to me they would find themselves on the other side of a locked door before they lost their erection. I can't even believe this terrible advice. And though you say you're not supposed to "manipulate" her, this is exactly what your advice recommends. OP, you didn't do anything wrong. It's her issue. Let her keep it. Whatever it is. Maybe she has body image issues as you say you work out and she doesn't. Maybe she realized she isn't over her ex. Who knows. It's bizarre. But it's not you. Seriously? "What's wrong baby?" "Well we certainly shouldn't be doing this..." *puke*
kaylan Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 OP, it sounds like you could have tried to tease a little more to see if she was really into it or not. Sometimes a girl initially puts on the breaks because shes unsure despite desiring you. Other times she really only wanted it to go as far as making out, and decides she doesnt want sex with you just yet, or at all. I wouldnt worry about this one too much. On to the next one.
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