lamis Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 (edited) Hey everyone, My fiancée broke our engagement and left me completely about a week and a half ago. I have calmed down enough now to start thinking about the more practical aspects of my situation, and was basically looking for advice. My fiancée is planning on including my engagement ring in my stuff when I go to pick it up in about a week and a half, and I have no problem with that. I want her to keep the other gifts I gave her, because they are things I gave her because I thought she would like them, etc., and she can get a practical use out of them in the future once the emotion wears down. However, an engagement ring is always just that, and I am sure she doesn't want to be reminded about our situation. However, my question is -- what the hell am I supposed to do with it? Obviously I am not going to give it to the next (and hopefully last) woman I get engaged to. I could sell it, but I know that re-selling jewelry you rarely get anything close to what you paid for it, so what's the point? In some ways I feel that donating it to a charity of some kind might be nice, since it would be therapeutic in various ways. Anyway, for those of you have been in similar situations -- whether men or women, what did you do with an engagement ring from a broken engagement? Edited March 24, 2014 by lamis
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I just let my ex keep it. Originally I asked for it back, and she started crying so I said forget it...
Author lamis Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 I just let my ex keep it. Originally I asked for it back, and she started crying so I said forget it... Well, if she wanted to keep it that would be nice, but she doesn't. Maybe I'll be lucky and she'll change her mind before the day I'm supposed to get my things.
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Well, if she wanted to keep it that would be nice, but she doesn't. Maybe I'll be lucky and she'll change her mind before the day I'm supposed to get my things. Don't get me wrong. She didn't want it cause she was going to stick with me. She's gone, and so is the ring
Arabella Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I returned the one from my ex-H to him and he sold it and put the money towards joint debt. My engagement after that, once it ended, I sold it on eBay. Got a fraction of what was paid for it, but I didn't care. Just wanted it gone.
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I returned the one from my ex-H to him and he sold it and put the money towards joint debt. My engagement after that, once it ended, I sold it on eBay. Got a fraction of what was paid for it, but I didn't care. Just wanted it gone. Why did you sell it? Why not give it back to him?? I'd be pissed if my ex put up a scene to keep it, then turned around and sell for scraps!!!
Author lamis Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Don't get me wrong. She didn't want it cause she was going to stick with me. She's gone, and so is the ring Oh, I knew what you meant. Even if she changed her mind now I wouldn't take her back anyway. If she has this kind of doubt now, how's marriage going to work out? I just meant NOT having to deal with the ring would take something that is kind of a pain to deal with out of my life.
TaraMaiden Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 If you can afford it, have it made into a pendant, and give it to your mother, on Mother's day......
Author lamis Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 If you can afford it, have it made into a pendant, and give it to your mother, on Mother's day...... This is an interesting suggestion, but how will I look at that pendant and not think of the origin? And how would she? I was engaged to the woman for almost a year, so she knows the ring.
sooshi Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I'm not sure what my ex-fiance has done with the ring. It was passed down from his mom, so I'm not sure if he returned it to her or not. I still have the case though (we live in different countries, and the break-up came while I was visiting him and the ending of our engagement was unexpected). He might've sold it though. I never thought about that until seeing this thread. This was at the end of December, and I still feel the remnants of a ring on me sometimes.
BC1980 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Definitely sell it. When my ex dumped me, he claimed he was going to sell back the ring and give me the money. I've yet to see that happen. . . .
redbaron005 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 (edited) I'm not sure what my ex-fiance has done with the ring. It was passed down from his mom, so I'm not sure if he returned it to her or not. My father still has the engagement ring from his first love, it was the one handed down to her by her grandmother. She broke up with him, however he still keeps it in his box of memories (30 years later), out of sight. I suggested he return it to her in hawai'i, he said he would...but I know he won't. Sometimes its just hard to let go. If it wasn't handed down, the donating to charity route mentioned sounds admirable. Edited March 24, 2014 by redbaron005
Sandy99 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Donate it to a charity. At least you will know somebody (who you will never meet) will enjoy it. Or if the ring put you in debt at all, or you need money, then try to sell it.
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Sucks cause I had the engagement and wedding rings custom made and they match. White gold with black spinel stones. Gorgeous!!! But I doubt anyone else would want what was custom made for my ex. And all I have is the wedding band as she kept the engagement ring. Wonder if she still has it?? I'd be pissed if she got rid of it after crying about not keeping it!! But, I'll probably never know
FortunateSon Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I got the engagement ring/wedding band back, it is currently on sale via consignment at the jeweler where I purchased it. It is an awesome ring, I wish I wouldn't have "wasted" it on her
SammySammy Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 There was no way my ex was keeping that ring. She gave it back without a fuss. I sold it for about half of what I paid for it and bought a camera and lenses with the proceeds. 1
BC1980 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Sucks cause I had the engagement and wedding rings custom made and they match. White gold with black spinel stones. Gorgeous!!! But I doubt anyone else would want what was custom made for my ex. It feels silly, but my ring was custom made too. It was exactly what I had always wanted, and I feel like I wasted it on him. I wanted a pear shaped solitaire diamond, and I feel that I could never have that again. It would just be too much of a reminder of him. The band I bought for him was engraved, so no one would want that. It's really messed up because my grandfather bought the band as our wedding gift. He has worked at that jewelry store for 30 years, so he did that as a surprise for me when I came to pick it up. I feel like my ex should pay him back because my ex makes plenty of money. It's not right or fair, and it makes me sick. It's really embarrassing because we went to my grandfather's jewelry store because they gave us a really good price on the diamond. It's mortifying really. I could never go back there if I were ever to get engaged again.
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 It would just be too much of a reminder of him. This is what puzzles me. Maybe she doesn't even really think of me or our RS at all anymore, so therefore she can keep it with little or no awkwardness attached? Or she pawned/sold it, which would really boil my blood It's really embarrassing because we went to my grandfather's jewelry store because they gave us a really good price on the diamond. It's mortifying really. I could never go back there if I were ever to get engaged again. Sure you could. You didn't purposefully or knowingly cause the outcome. How were you to know? I wouldn't be embarrassed and I'm sure gramps wouldn't think anything of doing it again
Author lamis Posted March 25, 2014 Author Posted March 25, 2014 I think I am going to go with charity in my case. The ring has a lot of meaning to me and it meant a lot to her too for a while. I think someone else, perhaps who could not afford such a thing otherwise, should enjoy it. I don't like the idea of selling it back to anyone or anything like that when their only interest in profit. Of course, finding a charity that accepts such a thing is probably not so easy.
Arabella Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Why did you sell it? Why not give it back to him?? I'd be pissed if my ex put up a scene to keep it, then turned around and sell for scraps!!! Lol I didn't put up any scene, trust me. There's more to the story than that. I returned it to him initially. However, the dude owed me $16,000 and many months later, he gave it back to me to put towards his debt. The ring wasn't even a real diamond and all I got was a couple hundred bucks. Better than nothing though...
Author lamis Posted March 28, 2014 Author Posted March 28, 2014 Ok so weirdly, I have been informed (through an intermediary, we are technically NC but unfortunately have to communicate somehow until I get my stuff on the 3rd) that she has now decided to keep it. I am kind of glad to have that pressure off of me, but I think it is weird that she decided to when during our break up talk she told me she couldn't keep it. I guess she is more removed from the emotions now and has to decided to perhaps repurpose it or something.
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