andreautick Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 I'm just sharing this because it was WHACK! This all happened at the beginning of this January. Has anyone else had this experience? After I left my husband of 4 weeks (bad choice, and he turned abusive, so I left), and recovered for 4 weeks, I re-met an old friend from school, Sam. We had kind of clicked at school (I was taking a break from college at the time) but I had a boyfriend when we met at school. So, we re-met and started dating long distance. The first month was great, though we only saw eachother about 3 times. After the first date (Which was 13 hours long) and a lot of long phone calls, he said "I love you" and I said it back...though I didn't really feel it as much as I should have in order to say it back. It was a little soon for me. After that first month, I went to his town for Thanksgiving. 2 days after thanksgiving he came down with viral encephalitis (swelling of the brain due to any number of cold viruses). He had to be rushed to the hospital, and if I hadn't had been at his apartment with him, he could have died due to the severity of the condition and the need for medical help and stabilization. At least,that's what people told me. So, while he was in the hospital, I spent every moment I could by his bedside, just being there for him. I got really close tohis parents, too. Then, after he went home.He changed. He didn't put in any effort,he didn't even put forth the emotional effort thatis so eas to put in. We talked about it and he said he felt exaustedand that is why he couldn't do it. That's fine, his body had been through a lot. Then came christmas, and it was awful. We met at the halfway point between our towns to have a little christmas get together, and spend the night. He was chilly, didn't want physical contact, didn't hug me or anything when we exchanged presents, was totally chilly. He blamedit on the fact that my parents didn't offer to let him stay at our house in Helena should he come to visit (we don't have a guest room). But, that is dumb. He has no right to judge them So anyway, things kind of sucked and ended badly on Christmas, and then he called and made a very elaborate, thorough, sincere apology about it and everything else. He promised things were looking up. All the while, he has been talking about getting engaged within the next year, and all this. I wasn't ready for that, for obvious reasons,but apparantly he was feeling rather serious. Then came New Years. His birthday is January 1. So, I went up there (drove 6 hours on extremely icy, dangerous roads) to see him. We did nothing but sit in front of the TV the whole weekend...we didn't cuddle while watching TV, wedidn't talk at all. he seemed completely disinterested in me. And, so, when he asked if I had a good weekend I told him no, and I gently told him why. We got into a big fight, and he hung up on me. So... I wrote him a letter calling for a break. I heard nothing. He wasn't calling to apologize, he wasn't doing a darn thing! So, I wrote him another letter and broke it off with him in a gentle way. To this day (about 3 weeks later) I have heard nothing fromhim. I even wrote to his Mom and Dad to express concern about his mental state (due tothe sudden change after the encephalitis), not in a derogatory manner, but just to let them know things I had observed and that it may or may not mean anything, but I thought they should know. Nothing at all in return. ISN"T THAT WIERD?!!! God. I am over it emotionally, but I just keep thinking about how wierd it is to treat someone like that. WHACK! What do you think? Has anyone else gonethrough this? What a nut.
Pocky Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 Maybe he realized as he laid on his "almost" deathbed that you really weren't the person for him and he was incapable of telling you so because you did stay by his side while he was sick.
Weird Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 Yeah sounds a bit weird but sounds like he just wasn't up to a relationship. Anyway, please make sure you put more time into your next possible marriage candidate than you did the first...4 weeks into marriage and it was over? Sounds like you guys rushed into that.
Author andreautick Posted January 28, 2005 Author Posted January 28, 2005 Perhaps, pocky. Or perhaps he is a big mommas boy and secretly wants to marry her! He used to go down to his parents house while I was there and spend 5-6 hours a day with them, ignoring me. Even before he got sick. Now there are some psyche problems, geez. And Wierd...Yeah, I see what you are saying too. Iw ould have stayed with the guy I married had things not been abusive. But I wasn't about to stay for that. He was a great actor I think, no one saw it coming, not even my very perceptive parents. It was too fast though, whatever it was, and he was whack too!
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