I've cracked the "player" mystery!!!

[RedRobin]

One lives 90+ miles a way, 2 are local. He has 2 houses as he learned that having a house with easy access was a mistake. He does not have Facebook account. He does not introduce them to his friends, though I have met the 2 local ones ironically. Awkard to say the least. He does not let them come over to his house to spend the night; he goes to theirs.

 

He now has a place that is gated, so they cannot just "show up". He has a PO Box, no address. This past Christmas I asked him "who will you be with". His answer was "I will wait to see what happens, who wants to see me, it alwasy just works out".

 

The one woman is a millionare and has flown him all over te world on fancy trips. He loves it. The other woman is well off too.

 

He has a one man shop Private Eye business (that's his career), so it's my guess this "skillset" has come in handy, too.

 

He says they will question him, ask if "there is someone else" and of course he says, No.

 

He breaks up with them often, usually lets them do the break up, then waits for them to come back. So, intentional or not, he keeps them in a state of drama, if that makes sense.

 

 

Your friend sounds like a sociopath.

 

 

The one I came across... He did this too. The break up thing, then reels them back in. Didn't work with me.

 

 

That video I send around here on LS... How to spot a liar... comes in very handy. There are always tells. With the guy I mentioned, it was a certain smugness... the lack of empathy in unexpected situations... that duping grin.

 

 

It gives me the creeps that you call this guy a friend. Knowing this about him.

 

 

What do you possibly see in him?? Are you afraid of him?

[mario_C]

One lives 90+ miles a way, 2 are local. He has 2 houses as he learned that having a house with easy access was a mistake. He does not have Facebook account. He does not introduce them to his friends, though I have met the 2 local ones ironically. Awkard to say the least. He does not let them come over to his house to spend the night; he goes to theirs.

 

He now has a place that is gated, so they cannot just "show up". He has a PO Box, no address. This past Christmas I asked him "who will you be with". His answer was "I will wait to see what happens, who wants to see me, it alwasy just works out".

 

The one woman is a millionare and has flown him all over te world on fancy trips. He loves it. The other woman is well off too.

 

He has a one man shop Private Eye business (that's his career), so it's my guess this "skillset" has come in handy, too.

 

He says they will question him, ask if "there is someone else" and of course he says, No.

 

He breaks up with them often, usually lets them do the break up, then waits for them to come back. So, intentional or not, he keeps them in a state of drama, if that makes sense.

 

Well, take away the women and...that's still an interesting story.

That's why he has what sounds like top shelf GFs and plenty of them. He's mysterious, independent, doesn't waste time online *coughahemcough* and knows their emotions and how to play them. And I bet he is in shape to the point of ripped. To be a PI you have to have a police background? Women love cops because they're trustworthy, or at least that's what I learned watching "The Wire"

I've known a couple of guys like that. That's why guys like me don't hunt them down and kill them because either we love them too, or we're afraid to pick a fight with them. Or both.

Maybe your brother has the same traits?

 

My brother is a player, has been with over 300 woman, he thinks, and that is not him talking himself up, he is being honest.

 

When I lived with him 3 years ago for two months, when I moved out of my house to start my seperation/divorce, he was seeing two woman. I lost track of how many times he almost got caught. I think, to some degree, he enjoys the "thrill" of almost getting caught.

 

The good news, is after lots of talks with him, he did call it off with one of the women, and to my surprise stuck to it, and comitted to the other. He actually dated the other woman for almost 2 years afterwards. So, I hope I was a good influence. This is my struggle with the black/white "don't keep your player friends". My brother, is a better person now, and I see it, and I hope it's from our talks and him seeing how I am.

[KathyM]

My brother is a player, has been with over 300 woman, he thinks, and that is not him talking himself up, he is being honest.

 

When I lived with him 3 years ago for two months, when I moved out of my house to start my seperation/divorce, he was seeing two woman. I lost track of how many times he almost got caught. I think, to some degree, he enjoys the "thrill" of almost getting caught.

 

The good news, is after lots of talks with him, he did call it off with one of the women, and to my surprise stuck to it, and comitted to the other. He actually dated the other woman for almost 2 years afterwards. So, I hope I was a good influence. This is my struggle with the black/white "don't keep your player friends". My brother, is a better person now, and I see it, and I hope it's from our talks and him seeing how I am.

Good for you, for being a good brother to your brother, and trying to influence him in a positive way. I think that's what families are for, to some extent, where when one is off track, the other family members help to guide him to do what is right or what is healthy. I've tried to be that way with my sisters when they were off track as well. I feel very protective with my sisters. I wouldn't want to enable their screwed up behavior. I try to help them and guide them when they are off track. Same thing with my kids, my nieces and nephews. That's what family is for. I feel sorry for families where everyone is screwed up and they only have negative influences and negative role models.

 

 

Friends, OTOH, are not family. You choose your friends, and hopefully choose wisely. The friend I mentioned, a friend since early childhood, we tolerated for too long. She hit on men in our group who were married or otherwise in committed relationships or exclusive relationships. She was an opportunist that would pounce on a man if he were having troubles in his marriage. She would badmouth a man's wife or girlfriend to the man while the wife or girlfriend was not present. Not a woman that could be trusted, and we put up with her far too long. She was a very friendly and engaging person, and a lifelong friend of the family, but we could no longer, in good conscience, tolerate or look the other way when she was actively trying to break up a marriage or a relationship. Nope. No friend is worth keeping that does that, no matter what other good traits they may have.

[RedRobin]

Actually, Babs... what makes you think that anything either one of them tells YOU is the truth.

 

 

I mean, if he will lie to them straightfaced... why in the hell would you believe either of these guys?

 

 

Do you really believe their lying is isolated just to women?? How does that make any sense at all? It doesn't. Those type of people lie to everyone.

 

 

Like I said... you are being played just as much as them...

[2.50 a gallon]

I find most of the posts in this thread to be most amusing. In truth, it reveals a basic lack of knowledge of what it is like to be a player.

 

Such as blocking them on fb, or refusing to introduce your friends to them. There was no face book when I was active. And as for introductions, I can't recall all that often that a friend or an associate would introduce me.

 

If I spotted a lady that I was interested in I would introduce myself. Did it always work? No! But you would be surprised, how often, with the passage of time, they would eventually come to me and start talking.

 

And you would be surprised how often women that I had never met would come on to me. And you would be surprised as to where. I have been hit on in grocery stores, pet stores, gas stations, and even the library

 

Maybe you could tattoo a large P on their forehead to warn women away. NOT! That would only serve as a neon sign.

 

As for the relationships lasting only a month or two at most, many of my FWB's lasted for years. And when I did get into an exclusive relationship they would patiently wait until if ended and be willing to start up again.

 

As for long term relationships, in most cases, neither I nor they were interested. It was all about sex. They had careers, and just wanted an occasional good roll in the hay. And then it was see you in a month or two.

[Buzzkill]

I can't like your post more even if I have thousands of likes to give .

 

Women have selected ''players'' since before recorded History began. Hammurabi basically had to enforce monogamy or women would have never selected one particular man to settle down with, lol. Marriage, relationships, fatherhood. Those are all very modern conceptions that bring no quality of life to the man.

 

Blocking a guy on facebook is not going to prevent him from giving to women what they want. Screening a man will not result. That sexual tension that the ''player'' brings usually outweights any rational thought, resistance, the woman might put up. Its mostly just for show, to not feel like a loose woman and to instil in the man a manner of thought: ''I'm not usually like this.''

 

That divine Player in ''gone with the wind.'' You guys don't think women would refuse him? Ah, I've even seen 60 year old ''players'' get much younger, very good-looking women without having to pay for it, so the assumption that players are some sick result of human evolution and that women need to be protected from the men they drown themselves in make-up, thongs, mini-skirts and so forth, to attract is a complete and lie.

 

And you would be surprised how often women that I had never met would come on to me. And you would be surprised as to where. I have been hit on in grocery stores, pet stores, gas stations, and even the library

 

Are those women in their 30s? They become more prone to approach the man they wantto sleep with as they age? The 20-something women who are attracted to me only sit there playing with their hair like they were professional mountain climbers testing the ropes and I have to do all the work and make the interaction conductive enough for a sexual liason.

[RedRobin]

I find most of the posts in this thread to be most amusing. In truth, it reveals a basic lack of knowledge of what it is like to be a player.

 

Such as blocking them on fb, or refusing to introduce your friends to them. There was no face book when I was active. And as for introductions, I can't recall all that often that a friend or an associate would introduce me.

 

If I spotted a lady that I was interested in I would introduce myself. Did it always work? No! But you would be surprised, how often, with the passage of time, they would eventually come to me and start talking.

 

And you would be surprised how often women that I had never met would come on to me. And you would be surprised as to where. I have been hit on in grocery stores, pet stores, gas stations, and even the library

 

Maybe you could tattoo a large P on their forehead to warn women away. NOT! That would only serve as a neon sign.

 

As for the relationships lasting only a month or two at most, many of my FWB's lasted for years. And when I did get into an exclusive relationship they would patiently wait until if ended and be willing to start up again.

 

As for long term relationships, in most cases, neither I nor they were interested. It was all about sex. They had careers, and just wanted an occasional good roll in the hay. And then it was see you in a month or two.

 

 

so what you have an eye for broken women and promiscuous women. Kind of proves what some of the other posters are saying here...

 

 

... not to mention my thoughts about men who have so-called FWB too.

 

 

Your current GF was abused by her former H, if memory serves. I remember reading that. Also seems to prove what other posters have said.

 

 

People with unresolved FOO issues or trauma are either players or are played.

 

 

The rest of us... those who don't have those issues or have worked through them... well, we'll just do our best to let you all figure it out on your own and not drag us into your junk. That is what social circles are for... and good judgment... and time.

[RedRobin]

There will always be the critters... the vultures... the bottom feeders... waiting for opportunities. No way around that, true... People just have to learn the tells and avoid them.

[Buzzkill]

so what you have an eye for broken women and promiscuous women. Kind of proves what some of the other posters are saying here...

 

 

... not to mention my thoughts about men who have so-called FWB too.

 

 

Your current GF was abused by her former H, if memory serves. I remember reading that. Also seems to prove what other posters have said.

 

 

People with unresolved FOO issues or trauma are either players or are played.

 

 

The rest of us... those who don't have those issues or have worked through them... well, we'll just do our best to let you all figure it out on your own and not drag us into your junk. That is what social circles are for.

 

Most men are going to have to have ONS and FWBs if they can manage to have them. Most women are going to have them, too. Women might not participate in the actual carnal act that is born from the seed of male desire, but most bask in the glorious male attention that any woman arranges her body to appeal to. There is no such thing as women who are promiscuous. Put a woman in front of very attractive men and you'll see what will happen.

 

One of my closest friends dated the same guy from the age of 15 to the age of 22. Then I began to hang out with a ''player''(I wonder how a woman as hot as her never came across a ''player'') and she slept with him after knowing of his fame as a womanizer and after a few weeks of knowing him. She wanted to dump her boyfriend for him, but he wasn't interested in that.

 

A year walks by and she moves to Europe to study there. She must've hit the male jackpot because I was being texted all day how hot the guys over there were, ahaha. I bet she slept with hot men to her heart's content, left and right. She's now engaged to some decent guy I also introduced her too, he's a decent guy, but doesn't get much female attention, for he is boring as can be, but is the sun of an European Minister $$.

 

''Players'' introduce women to worlds of pleasure. Nothing wrong with that. This isn't the 19th century, and if the woman is hot enough, she can still marry that dependable provider without any hit to her sexual value/human value.

 

Kathy, your post wasn't directed at me, but I'll answer it anyway. I had good models for masculine behavior. My father is a pillar of our community. The leader of our Church, the best man any woman can marry. Extremely boring and restrictive. I have no interest in being one of the pillars of my community when I can have so much more fun letting my natural urges take flight.

 

There will always be the critters... the vultures... the bottom feeders... waiting for opportunities. No way around that, true... People just have to learn the tells and avoid them.

 

I would dare a gamble and say that the men who marry the women who have fun with the players are the ones who are the bottom feeders because they couldn't get the women they wanted, when the women weren't looking for $$ and emotional/physical support, lol. So cute. I always have to stiffle my roaring laughter when I read the Great Gatsby and point out that Jay Gatsby was a sucker of the highest order because he could've gone home after banging daisy, without having to pay for it, but instead he become eternally entangled with that fire of what a ''good girl'' is.

 

Who do you think is more admired by men? The guy who demolishes a woman's natural ''defenses'' and gets what men want, without having to be the lighthouse in her life, or the second guy who now has to date her and be the man every woman wants to introduce to her parents? If a woman wants to introduce me to her friends or family I know I'm not getting laid anytime soon.

Edited April 9, 2014 by Buzzkill

[KathyM]

I understand - my own close social circle of which I am a part of is very much similar in this regard. Being a musician, I've made a lot of acquaintances and casual friends over time and frequented many social circles without ever being a particularly important part of them apart from the fact that people who know me tend to present me in a highly favorable light.

 

My closest friends are different though. More familial.

 

 

 

Never really needed a role model particularly - I learned what I needed to learn from older men I know. My father is one of the most emotionally intelligent people I've ever known (stage and TV actor), so I learned that much from him. He made his mistakes. He's come a long way.

 

Lot of guys (and girls mind) sowed their oats for a period of time. Some look down on them for it, but I've never been one to do so. I have my own way of looking at things in general, so it has never bothered me as much. I simply try to make sure that people don't hurt others.

 

As for my brothers, I'm the older brother so I try to impart advice when I can. They don't normally listen ....

Well, sowing wild oats is one thing, but a player manipulates and lies to women, uses women and has no concern for them but only looking to get his own selfish ego fed. Women do get hurt by players who use them, cheat on them, lie to them, and discard them. Like I said, it's unfortunate if those are the only role models you had in your life. Everyone needs positive role models, and it looks like you were shortchanged in that department. It sounds like your brothers are following in your father's modeling on how to use women.

[RedRobin]

Players don't give emotionally healthy women pleasure. Just the opposite in fact.

 

 

There will always be sociopaths and psychopaths. Sex is just one area of their lives they use to exploit people. One very obvious one.

Edited April 9, 2014 by RedRobin

[Buzzkill]

Well, sowing wild oats is one thing, but a player manipulates and lies to women, uses women and has no concern for them but only looking to get his own selfish ego fed. Women do get hurt by players who use them, cheat on them, lie to them, and discard them. Like I said, it's unfortunate if those are the only role models you had in your life. Everyone needs positive role models, and it looks like you were shortchanged in that department. It sounds like your brothers are following in your father's modeling on how to use women.

 

No, he doesn't. The men who manipulate women are the pick-up artists. Those inflate their sexual worth to sleep with women who are much better looking than them, and they only manage to do it because the women are stoned out of their mind. Players are men who have sex offers from all corners of female society. These are the men women turn to when they are bored with their husbands or when they are stressed studying for finals and just want a good turn in the hay.

 

My grandfather and uncles never used women. I was introduced to these ladies granddaughters and nieces and daughters - you don't think women would want their own to stay away from men like my grandfather to save them from heartache?

 

lol, the only women I know in real life who complain about ''players'' are the women who can't attract the players or have had their fun with their players and now want to make that good prospects future husband not feel intimidated by the men who are much better than him. do you know how many women the backstreet boys have probably slept with? You think they'll have any time getting married if they want? Oh, they aren't players because of... whatever reason it is.

[RedRobin]

Keep talking. It is good that other people see the mind of those with your philosophy. So they can recognize it when they see it IRL and stay away.

[Buzzkill]

Players don't give emotionally healthy women pleasure. Just the opposite in fact.

 

 

There will always be sociopaths and psychopaths. Sex is just one area of their lives they use to exploit people. One very obvious one.

 

I love women too much to record them squirting and filling my blankets with waves of pleasure, it would be a breach of trust, and I'm not interested in impressing other men. Emotionally healthy men love sex, love attention from worthy men - which the ''player'' is- and they'll have many favored memories to think about in their 30s and 40s. Heck, after their divorces we can hit it back and have some more fun.

 

And if you think it is only 20s somethin women who are interested(oh wait, are deceived by players - women aren't capable of making their own decisions, right?) in casual sex, you are wrong. I was flirting with this hot 50-something Brazilian women who sent me text messages after seeing picures of me with attractive women, and a couple of weeks later I was sleeping with her while her husband was working in Brazil, lol. Score, score for both of us.

 

Sociopath? What is the principle behind that being applied in the context of sex and women? I have feelings. I am loved by my family and friends. There's this one cutey little female dog I love to death and she loves me. You know how the saying goes. dogs are great people-pickers

[RedRobin]

Like I said...

 

 

Players don't give emotionally healthy women pleasure. Just the opposite in fact.

 

There will always be sociopaths and psychopaths. Sex is just one area of their lives they use to exploit people. One very obvious one.

 

Keep talking. It is good that other people see the mind of those with your philosophy. So they can recognize it when they see it IRL and stay away.

[Buzzkill]

Keep talking. It is good that other people see the mind of those with your philosophy. So they can recognize it when they see it IRL and stay away.

 

Never had any trouble voicing my desires and belief-system. It attracts the young men who are having bad luck in creating sexual desire in women, and the women who circle me always love it when I tell them how much I want to pull their hair and push them against a wall. They giggle like Lisbon’s 1755 earthquake, and they always instigate me to continue with my airing of what I will do to them when I get to be alone with them. Even a lot more fun when you’re in a group of women and you are picking one of them to flirt with, and the others grow jealous.

 

Just the other day I was hanging out with 2 girls. A much better-looking showed up and began to draw my attention. I began the amorous storm by taking a long glance from her head to her toes, calling her to me with the slow motion of my fingers, and then I planted a kiss on her lips. Had only seen her a couple of times before but I wanted to piss off her boyfriend and to make the girls near me jealous. It worked. This girl spent the next 2 hours sulking. I’m not even attracted to her. I simply enjoy to see women fight for male attention, lol.

 

 

A girl I wanted to sleep with tried to pull the good-girl act with me after giving me so many signals of sexual interest, trying to make me work for her attention, so I went HAM on another girl, a much better-looking girl, right in front of her, and this other girl - this one highly in demand - was watching it and she became so angry at the attention I was giving to her. You think she turned away and ignored me? Nope. I engaged her and I was going to fool around with her too, but then the other girl, the one I had rejected for making me work for her attention invoked a female council and the interaction was terminated. It was still a lot of fun to see her angry at seeing another girl be the center of attention.

 

Haha, she turns to her friend and says she thought I was different from the other guys, that I was captivating and charming. As the words were flowing out of her mind I was already creating scenarios inside my head to come up with a way to meet some other girl I had just seen earlier that day. I don't wait. I get what I want or I move on.

 

You didn't say anything. You claim I'm a sociopath or whatever it is that you mean. But I'm not. I enjoy the women I'm with. The women enjoy the time they are with me. That means that both parties get a reward from spending time with each other. If you are talking about women wanting to date the player and the player not wanting to do it. So what? You think Justin Timberlake has only slept with his wife/girlfriend/bride? LOL.

 

You might think I only go for women who are broken(like, I need glue to fix it?) or who have daddy issues, but by God, It fills my whole being with happiness when I'm with church girls in front of them, and they behave the same way the whole lot of other girls behave. Its very flattering.

Edited April 9, 2014 by Buzzkill

[Babolat]

It gives me the creeps that you call this guy a friend. Knowing this about him.

 

 

What do you possibly see in him?? Are you afraid of him?

 

I see the same thing I see in my brother, who I love dearly, and hope me spending time with him can and will help him. As a "male buddy", excluding their "love life - player life" both are good men and I enjoy our conversations.

 

My male player friend is also a good tennis player, so we end up on the court together a lot. That is actually how I got to know him, before I learned about his player side. We would play tennis, grab a beer, talk, hang out, no player conversation. I did not discount him after 3-4 months of getting to know him, when I started hearing about him being a player.

 

And no, I am not afraid of him. I find the player stuff interesting, almost in a psychological kind of way, like "how does he do it". Not to emulate, but to learn.

[Babolat]

And I bet he is in shape to the point of ripped. To be a PI you have to have a police background? Women love cops because they're trustworthy, or at least that's what I learned watching "The Wire"

I've known a couple of guys like that. That's why guys like me don't hunt them down and kill them because either we love them too, or we're afraid to pick a fight with them. Or both.

Maybe your brother has the same traits?

Yes, he is very fit, works out almost every day. He regular tells me we, referencing me and him, are the top 10% of men over 40 who take care of themselves and are in shape, not couch beer drinking potatoes. I think there is something to that; especially in his "market"; divorced women who were married to a man who did not take care of himself. The woman I have dated post divorce, I hear the same.

 

In addition to playing teenis he is an amateur boxer too. Woman love that, I see them react to him when he shares that. He is also humble, he does not go around talking loud, telling woman who he is, what he does, etc. I think thats the "interesting" side to him that attract woman.

 

My brother? 100% opposite. Beer belly, drinks, smokes pot, not in shape, house is a mess, has no motivation, no career, makes enough money to pay his mortgage..woman flock to him. He does not even have to take them on dates. All of the "dates" are at his condo.

[Babolat]

Friends, OTOH, are not family. You choose your friends, and hopefully choose wisely. The friend I mentioned, a friend since early childhood, we tolerated for too long. She hit on men in our group who were married or otherwise in committed relationships or exclusive relationships. She was an opportunist that would pounce on a man if he were having troubles in his marriage. She would badmouth a man's wife or girlfriend to the man while the wife or girlfriend was not present. Not a woman that could be trusted, and we put up with her far too long. She was a very friendly and engaging person, and a lifelong friend of the family, but we could no longer, in good conscience, tolerate or look the other way when she was actively trying to break up a marriage or a relationship. Nope. No friend is worth keeping that does that, no matter what other good traits they may have.

The male player I reference here makes it VERY clear he is not interested in woman I have dated, woman any of his friends have dated, he NEVER acts inappropriate when I am out with him with other friends, including females.

 

I once heard, you can chose your friends but you can't chose your familay, and, just because they are family, does not mean they have to be your friends. I will always support my family;I guess my point is, we don't have to, just because they are family.

[Babolat]

Actually, Babs... what makes you think that anything either one of them tells YOU is the truth.

 

 

I mean, if he will lie to them straightfaced... why in the hell would you believe either of these guys?

 

 

Do you really believe their lying is isolated just to women?? How does that make any sense at all? It doesn't. Those type of people lie to everyone.

 

 

Like I said... you are being played just as much as them...

I understand your point, message. He is a friend, he has proven to be trustworthy to me, so far. I have no idea if he is lying to me, and thinking back on what we talk about it would make no sense for him to lie about anything to me. I have shared things with him in confidence that have not gotten back to me. So far, so good.

[Babolat]

I am hearing a difference, or the posters put them all in one bucket, in the back and forth here between what is a player, what is a pick up artist, males/females who just want sex and both are on the same page, etc.

 

I actually had this conversation with a female friend this weekend. She said one of her female friends, who is 47, has a boy toy, who is 35. They both know what's going on, it's what they both want, there is no lying, they both have told the other they do not want a serious relationship, etc. I asked her if she could do this and she said "In theroy it sounds good, but in reality No, because of emotions".

[NYWoman]

RR

 

 

Emotionally unhealthy!?????

 

 

You are only speaking for your self

 

 

Have you not learned we have been liberated. It is emotionally healthy to enjoy sex. Even more so, with good, and fantastic sex. We are free to choose who, what, when and where we do with our lives.

 

 

The kinds of nice guys you are promoting sound like the average "Yes Dear" poodle lap dogs. Note the word average. As they are that in bed too.

 

 

Most of us, and yes and I am speaking for most women, want to experience a tiger in bed. A passionate stud who can take us to orgasmic heaven. One who can F our brains out.

 

 

But, most of us have to settle for the lap dog poodle. And unlike a poodle, are for the most part untrainable to last more than half an hour.

 

 

Most players that I have known, yes I married one, so I know of what I speak, do not need to be trained, they are teaching the class.

 

 

That is the reason women keep showing up and knocking on their door. And most women know that they do not have the tools necessary to hang to them for life. So they take what they can get when they can get it.

[Babolat]

RR

 

 

Emotionally unhealthy!?????

 

 

You are only speaking for your self

 

 

Have you not learned we have been liberated. It is emotionally healthy to enjoy sex. Even more so, with good, and fantastic sex. We are free to choose who, what, when and where we do with our lives.

 

 

The kinds of nice guys you are promoting sound like the average "Yes Dear" poodle lap dogs. Note the word average. As they are that in bed too.

 

 

Most of us, and yes and I am speaking for most women, want to experience a tiger in bed. A passionate stud who can take us to orgasmic heaven. One who can F our brains out.

 

 

But, most of us have to settle for the lap dog poodle. And unlike a poodle, are for the most part untrainable to last more than half an hour.

 

 

Most players that I have known, yes I married one, so I know of what I speak, do not need to be trained, they are teaching the class.

 

 

That is the reason women keep showing up and knocking on their door. And most women know that they do not have the tools necessary to hang to them for life. So they take what they can get when they can get it.

 

Interesting

 

This might explain why my ex gf, even though I broke up with her last March, still continued to "show up" for sex all Spring and Summer (and yes, I allowed it, because hell, I enjoyed it), and would go home with "I still need to work on myself, I don't want to date", nor did I want to date, the sex was amazing though. Was it healthy for me? Who really knows. And, as she put it, she always liked sex, but with me, she loved sex. Might also explain my "FWB" I speak of on here, who will still text me to this day asking if I want to meet her out, come over, can she come over, etc. And she was the one who ended our FWB relationship stating she could not do it anymore. She said something similar to my ex gf, that she always liked sex, but that I was a "champion" of sex. She screamed, and I mean screamed during sex and would always say "I don't know why I am so loud with you, I never have been in the past". Both, liked what NYWoman says,

 

"want to experience a tiger in bed. A passionate stud who can take us to orgasmic heaven. One who can F our brains out.....that last more than half an hour"

 

The woman I dated before my ex gf, literally every time she came to my house, within minutes we were were fu^&ing. We did it everywhere.

 

I even once met a girl from OLD 2+ years ago, and she literally attacked me the first time we met; invited, really took, me back to her place immediately. We had sex all weekend. If she did not live so far away it would have continued.

 

The woman I have been on a few dates with, she volunteered that the main reason she ended her 15 year marriage is because of no sex, no intimacy. He did not even like to see her naked after a while. She said "He was my best friend but my needs were not being met". She did say the first man she dated post marriage probably played on that, and gave her lots of attention and sex.

 

None of this makes me a player. In all of these cases I was honest, they were honest, we knew what we were doing.

 

No RR I am not bragging about "how good I am in bed", and no I am not a player. I am simply thinking out loud in response to NYWomans interesting comments. Buzzkilss comments kind of speak to this thought, too. Woman love sex as much as men and are willing to have a strictly sexual relationship with a man. Does that mean they are players? If they are being honest, not "selling a relationship" with lies, lies of ommission, no, I think it means they just want to have great sex. Are all players great in bed? I have no idea, I doubt it. Are all non players poodles in bed, nope, I don't think I am a poodle in bed.

Edited April 9, 2014 by Babolat

[Woggle]

I have a feeling some women who really hate players are just mad that they couldn't tame one in the past.

[ThaWholigan]

Oh man....

 

It would be funny if we were all this black and white

 

RR

 

 

Emotionally unhealthy!?????

 

 

You are only speaking for your self

 

 

Have you not learned we have been liberated. It is emotionally healthy to enjoy sex. Even more so, with good, and fantastic sex. We are free to choose who, what, when and where we do with our lives.

 

This is something I wouldn't argue against, and I don't think it is always to do with some kind of neurosis that this freedom is being exploited by a woman.

 

The kinds of nice guys you are promoting sound like the average "Yes Dear" poodle lap dogs. Note the word average. As they are that in bed too.

 

Not necessarily. Loyalty as a character trait and monogamy in and of itself doesn't always mean the man in question is a typical doormat pseudo-cuckold with no sexual prowess . There are shades of grey involved, and a man can have a cultured character complete with sexual charisma - without being polyamorous by nature. Not that it is bad, but not everybody desires it, contrary to whatever anyone believes.

Most of us, and yes and I am speaking for most women, want to experience a tiger in bed. A passionate stud who can take us to orgasmic heaven. One who can F our brains out.

 

That's fair. I'd argue that - most women want to experience very good sex. I recall meeting a former male escort (trying to sell me his program, which I promptly bought) and he was explaining to me the belief that men provide women the platform with which to explore the depths of their sexuality, and it requires a certain attitude towards sex to do so.

 

However, he noted that you can be a monogamous man and still have that attitude and f*ck your wife into heavenly bliss.

 

But, most of us have to settle for the lap dog poodle. And unlike a poodle, are for the most part untrainable to last more than half an hour.

 

I wouldn't know about this, despite my inexperience I do OK .

 

However, I don't think they are necessarily untrainable, simply that they must experience a shift in attitude towards their sexuality, whether that is their physique, sexual charisma, relating to the psyche of the woman he's with, penile health etc.....

 

Most players that I have known, yes I married one, so I know of what I speak, do not need to be trained, they are teaching the class.

 

 

That is the reason women keep showing up and knocking on their door. And most women know that they do not have the tools necessary to hang to them for life. So they take what they can get when they can get it.

 

Being able to have an innate understanding and sexual rapport with a lot of women is certainly a skill that for anyone who naturally has it they will certainly be in demand.

 

I have seen examples of women indeed taking scraps from such a man, but I have also seen examples of women quite easily resisting and remaining loyal. Some of those loyal ones are women that were chastised previously for being "promiscuous".

 

Never black and white .