chucksagent Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 First off, you're welcome. I have solved the most infamous riddle of the last 20 years. "Why are easy men "Players" and awesome and easy women are sl*ts/wh*res and awful?" Many psychologists will tell you "You teach people how to treat you." That is an undisputed fact, nobody will disagree with I'm sure. So let's examine the facts. Very few, if ANY, men I know, actually respect or will commit to or will date or will marry a sl*t. They just F em and chuck em is the phrase I believe. Or they use them for late night booty calls. Think Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids (pathetic). Conversely, MOST women I know, especially between 18 and 35, LOVE "players" aka male sl*ts. They say they are mysterious, hard to get, adventurous, a "challenge," often they find pleasure in trying to be the one to "change him." So do you see what's happening here? WOMEN themselves glorify this "player" by chasing them, putting them on a pedestal, continuing to hook up with them, etc. I know MANY women who try to commit to, date, marry players all the time. Cause THEY want to be the one to change him. So, once again for those who I lost. Men, ignore, treat badly, use and don't respect sl*tty women...Women worship, chase, want, get excited by, want to change sl*tty men. So, as psychologists tell us, you TEACH people how to treat you...a large portion of women are saying its ok and even a GOOD way to have women want you...men are telling you the OPPOSITE. Yet you all still wonder why that double standard exists? Lol. Hmmmm...I wonder if women stopped sleeping with "players" if men would still keep being players?!? Probably not since men love sex so much!!!! Let's use our brains here people!!! 2
HappyLove Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I'm still trying to figure out what it is you've "cracked"?! 12
DALIFAN Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Well, thank you for wanting to share this with us... BUT I don't think this was too big of a revelation. Most of us, I assume, knew that already, but be careful with trying to put all "players" and "easy girls" into one drawer. It's not always as simple and not all players and easy girls are the same. Generalizing is hardly the way to go Thank you though 2
man_in_the_box Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Wow, somebody stop the presses - what an amazing discovery. This is truely noteworthy and completely new information we are being presented. 9
joystickd Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Not really. Promiscuous women get called slut because of perception. Its a little weird for most men to see women treating sexuality like a man. It's has nothing to do with insecurity. Women would you date a man with feminine qualities?
Author chucksagent Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Well wow, lucky me. I found a bunch of genius' who apparently have thought of this before. Well where were you all in the countless posts on here when girls say "Hey, not fair, how come women are looked down upon when they are promiscuous but men are revered and cheered." People acted like it was some GRAND unfair double standard. I've never seen anyone EVER on here explain why the double standard exists or how it was formed. Now DUH facts are facts, and the facts I gave you are nothing new. But it's the ANALYSIS of those facts that is key. And I've never read that analysis on here before. 1
Author chucksagent Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Women so often say "I can't find a good man!" Yet they KNOWINGLY date players, unemployed lazy people, drug users, drug dealers, etc. Did women only become shallow in the last 10-20 years? Because if you look at our parents and grandparents and older people in general (and even great grandparents), women married men because they were loyal, hard working, responsible, giving, caring, etc. Not "because they're hot!!!" Do we have MTV and Gossip magazines to thank for this? Or have women biologically evolved to be as shallow as men? (Because it's ALWAYS been known that men are shallow and very much into appearance of the woman). 1
stillafool Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 So let's examine the facts. Very few, if ANY, men I know, actually respect or will commit to or will date or will marry a sl*t. Some men are married to sluts who have not changed their ways. Just read in the Infidelity forum and you will be amazed at what men put up with from slutty women. As far as women putting Players on a pedestal it seems that the men are the ones who put them on a pedestal. Every time a thread is started about "Players" it is always a man who starts it. Women are always going to be attracted to charming, goodlooking men just as men will always be attracted to charming, goodlooking women. You can call them Players and sluts but that's just the way it is. 3
Haydn Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Fame fame fatal fame. (Awaits) Well wow, lucky me. I found a bunch of genius' who apparently have thought of this before. Well where were you all in the countless posts on here when girls say "Hey, not fair, how come women are looked down upon when they are promiscuous but men are revered and cheered." People acted like it was some GRAND unfair double standard. I've never seen anyone EVER on here explain why the double standard exists or how it was formed. Now DUH facts are facts, and the facts I gave you are nothing new. But it's the ANALYSIS of those facts that is key. And I've never read that analysis on here before. 1
man_in_the_box Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 (edited) ROFL - you noticed that women like bad boys and men like good girls, linked it to slut shaming, present it like you discovered the photoeletric effect and expect us to applaud in awe? Edited March 24, 2014 by man_in_the_box 7
RedRobin Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 My observation is that other men put 'players' on a pedestal... not the women. Women go after men they are attracted to. No big surprise. My observation is that these same men are usually good liars, have little or no remorse about whom they hurt, and don't really have a lot of substance underneath the surface flash. If they weren't taught this in childhood, most women quickly learn how to dig a little deeper and those same men lose their appeal. It's the main reason lots of those player types target young women of a certain age or inexperienced in dating. Because those women are naïve. It's not really because those women prefer to be lied to or taken advantage of. It's also the reason why I refuse to date men who have slept around a lot. That's right. You heard it. I avoid sl*tty men. Noone is going to convince me they did so being upfront about their goals and intentions. 9
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Dating is a market, the more popular something is, the more it will be produced. Yeah some people don't like Justin Bieber and One Direction, but the fact that they're making millions and racking up the Youtube views means that clearly they have a bigger market share than someone like James Taylor. It doesn't mean people don't like James Taylor though. Similarly, if players are getting a lot of women interested in them it means that clearly they are more in demand than non-players. It doesn't mean every woman wants a player, but many do. I don't listen to what people say they want either; revealed preference is much more useful than people's declarations of their values. 3
Author chucksagent Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 fortyninethousand322 - another academic on the boards...very nice. I love when people use facts and logic...and of course, more than anything, are pragmatic about life. It's so funny you wrote what you wrote too because I told my buddy about my theory on Google chat this morning...guy owns his own business...he said "supply and demand...if women stopped sleeping with Players, being a player wouldn't be cool anymore, it's that simple." OTHER men find it cool because SOOOOO many women put out/hook up with "players." Like you said fortyninethousand322, women can SAY (speak out loud) "I don't like players" but as long as players are getting laid, THAT is what really matters. Any true academic or even a person with a lot of common sense, knows talk means NOTHING...absolutely NOTHING...it's all action and production. Players get action - - - -> Action talks. Players are revered by both men and women because men WANT action and because women CHASE them and want those men. Thus the saying, "The ladies want him and the men want to be him." Nobody is saying that about the overweight delivery guy for pizza hut...even if that guy has the biggest heart in the world, would be loyal, great friends, great family, great intentions, make you his queen...Again, woman SAY they want those things, but until they are 35+ they ignore guys with those qualities. It's amazing. And I don't buy the "poor naive girl" bit. With Facebook and Twitter and the way the world is today, EVERYONE knows EVERYTHING about EVERYONE. Guy gets out of jail, girls wanna "give him another chance." Guy sleeps around a ton, has that rep "he will change for me." That isn't being naive, that is being downright stupid. AND I don't believe women are stupid...I believe they are human, and WANT WHAT THEY WANT RIGHT NOW. Well the difference is, when you go down that rabbit hole, as we all do, don't bitch about it and act like you're a victim. You knew what you were getting into. 2
Author chucksagent Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Dating is a market, the more popular something is, the more it will be produced. Yeah some people don't like Justin Bieber and One Direction, but the fact that they're making millions and racking up the Youtube views means that clearly they have a bigger market share than someone like James Taylor. It doesn't mean people don't like James Taylor though. Similarly, if players are getting a lot of women interested in them it means that clearly they are more in demand than non-players. It doesn't mean every woman wants a player, but many do. I don't listen to what people say they want either; revealed preference is much more useful than people's declarations of their values. ANOTHER reason I liked your post...people on this site BUG THE CRAP out me because everytime ya post something, first thing you see is "not all women are like that!!!" or "Not all men are like that!!" Nothing is ever always or never. I understand not all women make mad choices on men lol I understand not all women like players. But, as my colleague, fortyninethousand322 pointed out, dating is a business, and for players, business is BOOMIN. And that's ALLLLL that matters. So the focus of the discussion goes on THAT % of people, not the smaller number of people who want the OTHER good people...those are the smart ones...they don't need figuring out as they are normal and intelligent. Lol. We are trying to crack the morons. 1
stillafool Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 We are trying to crack the morons. Why? If this is what people want why does it bother you? 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Why? If this is what people want why does it bother you? Why does Verizon worry about how many people like Comcast? 1
joystickd Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 fortyninethousand322 - another academic on the boards...very nice. I love when people use facts and logic...and of course, more than anything, are pragmatic about life. . Logic and dating don't really mix. You see how lame some PUAs look lol. It's too simple for logic. Pussy begats pussy and also good men are hard to find. Any man can meet a woman and give her attention and she get interested and others see it. Then throw in the fact most women believe a good man is hard to find. Any man that starts to get attention will have his stock rise fast among women. Work a job with mostly women if you can demonstrate certain qualities they all want you. Some will settle for FWB just to have you. It gets bad how competitive women can be for men.
RedRobin Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I guess the big mystery for me is why so many 'men' want to emulate liars and those who hurt people just for fun or to see what they can get away with. That's the biggest problem I see. These 'players' swim in the same social circles as some decent guys, and the decent guys still befriend them... which gives these shyteheads cover. The world is upside down when decent men are considered 'weak' and unmanly... and liars/cheats/womanizers are considered 'manly' and something to emulate. Mostly, I wish decent men would stop covering for this douchebags, propping them up, or rationalizing their behavior so that women who actually DO want to avoid them would have an easier time of it. Lord knows, I've had more than one talk with a woman whose self-esteem is in the toilet who doesn't think she can do better than one of these dirtbags... or is too afraid to be alone. Both here on LS and IRL. 2
Grumpybutfun Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Studs and sluts have lots of casual sex. Being a player is much more than just the ability to have sex with many women or men. There are male and female players and they are the ones who lie, manipulate and use underhanded tactics to get sex. Your theory makes little sense in that context. Men and women date people who are players because they are good at pretending to be nice guys and girls. This is all about subterfuge and skill. Posers who pretend to be players might be obvious about it, but really good players aren't. That is why they are so successful. Best, Grumps 8
Author chucksagent Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Stillafool - It bothers me because they SAY "I want a good man." But then they go out with bad men. It bothers me because they SAY "Why are male players awesome and female players sl*ts." It bothers me because I have GOOD men I know and GOOD women I know (all single) and the GOOD women say "I want a good guy, I am miserbale." And they are NOT interested in the GOOD guys I know; they are interested in chasing "the perfect man" aka a player who lies to them and treats them like crap. joystickd & RedRobin - Now I think we are getting into a much deeper/more difficult discussion. I think IN GENERAL we can all agree that most women mature faster than men in GENERAL aspects of life. HOWEVER, regarding dating, I think somewhere between 25 and 33, men BLOW by women at light speed in terms of "looking for the RIGHT things in a person." Now TRUST me... men are HORRIBLE in mid to early 20's and teens...But women MAINTAIN that mindset and I've even seen occasionally them get worse (rare). Whereas a man says "I'm done with the bars, the clubs, etc. I just wanna find a good mate and settle down." Whereas WOMEN have the famous line "I'm not settling for less than perfect!" Studies have even been done that show women are drinking/clubbing at higher rates than any time in history. I PERSONALLY know way more women who still go out drinking/clubbing then men. Of ALLLL the guys I know, I know 2 who still do it. And everyone looks down on them for it. Everyone. Yet, nobody judges the women for some reason. It's so odd, like its somewhat elegant for a 40 year old woman to go to a bar hoping to get hit on but pathetic and lame for a 40 year old man to go looking for a woman at a bar. Lol. People wonder why men in their 30's are actually dating OLDER women more now than ever, and I think that's a direct correlation. Because AGAIN at 35-45, women LIGHTSPEED past men AGAYNE in maturity. They've lived, they've loved, they've sometimes married, so NOW they know what's important in life. Louis CKs comedy special on HBO from this year has a whole segment on that. Skinny guys rule the roost for early life, but fat successful guys become the kings in their late 30's when women realize what matters. Haha. I think though, those shifts in maturity, is what is hurting the dating scene so much right now. If I had $1.00 for every time one of my single guy friends says "we went on a date, had a blast, never heard from her again..she flaked out on me." Flaked out. Seems like not even the courtesy to respond with a good reason why you didn't want to go out again. Very strange indeed. So REDROBIN, It's not like men ALWAYS romanticize these players, BUT, in that age range, when players are the only ones getting laid, and good,smart, driven men are sitting behind a desk trying to become a doctor, a lawyer, a business man, learn a craft, hold a job, getting a little tummy, and the players still look great, it's during that time where guys are like "oh man, that player gets all the girls and I can't get a call back for a date!!!"
SJC2008 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Conversely, MOST women I know, especially between 18 and 35, LOVE "players" aka male sl*ts. They say they are mysterious, hard to get, adventurous, a "challenge," often they find pleasure in trying to be the one to "change him." I know MANY women who try to commit to, date, marry players all the time. Cause THEY want to be the one to change him. There are TONS of relationship dynamics but the most popular ones seem to be 'nice guys finish last' and 'Women chasing/fixing men'. I can assure you there are plenty of men chasing emotionally available women (I used to be one of them) and plenty of men with women who are control freaks who keep their nuts in their purses. The thing is these types of relationships are hardly ever discussed because they not the popular and don't draw crowds like 'women love players' and 'women only like bad boys'. People that are fixers are projecting on their partner becasue if their parter is the broken one they don't have to look at themselves. They usually don't even consciously know their doing this. 2
Author chucksagent Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 I don't agree fully with "Studs and Sluts have lots of sex." I know a few studs and NONE of them are players. They feel guilty just having sex with a woman and never calling her again. As a matter of fact, what got me thinking about all of this, INVOLVED a "stud" friend of mine being "flaked out" by a female. He tells me all the time he is inching closer and closer to "player" and he only gets far with a girl he likes when he is mean to her. He said this last girl he REALLY liked so he was very nice to her and he thinks that's what turned her off. It seems many women see "niceness" as a turnoff.
Woggle Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I always say that if women treated male players the way men treat female players they could stop it in their tracks. Men want to emulate this lifestyle because it works. I am not saying it's the right thing to do but it works in attracting women. Most men don't want to be the doormat who gets chucked aside and it seems that is how nice guys get treated. Smart men won't commit to a female player because they know damn well she won't make good gf or wife material. I wish women were as smart with male players. Players are just good at advertising and so many women fall for it like people fell for pet rocks back in the day. Increasingly more men are falling for female players which is just a sad sight to see. 2
Author chucksagent Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 SJC2008 - You are right about the control freak women holding their mens n*ts in their purses: I know 3 couples who fit that PERFECTLY. And the common denominator in all 3 is: All 3 men have never been with/had sex with any other woman prior to the controller. And all 3 women are NOT anything special that would make you want to hand over your nuts. It's very strange but all 3 are very similar dynamics. Just from what I've seen (not saying it's right universally).
SJC2008 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I don't agree fully with "Studs and Sluts have lots of sex." I know a few studs and NONE of them are players. They feel guilty just having sex with a woman and never calling her again. As a matter of fact, what got me thinking about all of this, INVOLVED a "stud" friend of mine being "flaked out" by a female. He tells me all the time he is inching closer and closer to "player" and he only gets far with a girl he likes when he is mean to her. He said this last girl he REALLY liked so he was very nice to her and he thinks that's what turned her off. It seems many women see "niceness" as a turnoff. How was he nice to her? Did he leave an apple pie on her window sill?? People always say "too nice" without giving specifics.
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