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Posted

Hi need someones advice.

 

My Wife says she is done with our relationship and I am totally heartbroken. This has been gone on for several months and now 1 week ago I left the family home. (she said either I go or she goes)

 

The thing is we have sorted out a schedule for me to see the kids (2,6&12)stay with me every Tuesday, every alternate Fri & Sat plus Thursday evening and Sunday afternoon.

 

I want to go into NC for my own benefit as its breaks my heart to even see her plus I a want her back so bad...So I don't want to meet her when I pick up the kids etc.. I said could we use an intermediary (her dads house) to do the change.

 

She said yes then changed her mind......said we should keep it as normal as possible for the kids, although things are never going to be the same again.

 

Its Monday morning and I am in absolute pieces....its a living hell

 

Am I been unreasonable ???How should I act I just need to get some guidance my heads is in bits and I am not thinking straight.:(:(

 

If I keep seeing her does this mess up any benefits that NC would give you either for my own well being or getting her to miss what we had......Plus how should I proceed with the kids pick up etc. Do I give in or stand my ground etc

Posted

Glad to see your back NiceGuy73.As I said on your first thread, NC is not an option for you. Don't act desperate and dont give her the satisfaction to see you upset.

 

Pick the kids from her house as she wishes. I know it's hard but be positive when you go there, this kind of things can scar the kids for life. Be nice and always smile even to their mom( when they are around ) .

 

Remember you do this for the kids not for her...

  • Author
Posted (edited)

Thanks Davidfor your support

I am absolutely rock bottom today…..totally struggling to take it all in

 

Lost my wife

Lost my children for a huge part of the week

Lost my home that I built for us all

Getting divorced

Worrying about her meeting someone else

 

I had to skipwork for 30 mins before to go for a drive. Blubbed my eyes out.

 

I am scaredto death of the future and very worried that I am just going to get more andmore and more desperate then end up on her doorstep crying my eyes out and begging for another chance.

 

I just don’tknow where I am going to get the strength to carry on..........41 years oldand my family life is in total tatters

Edited by NiceGuy73
Posted

I feel for you, I've went through something similar.

Things will gradually get better for you, try and remain strong.

 

When you do interact with her try and put on a happy front and be indifferent.

Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you're upset.

 

Also it'll give you some self respect not to beg and reason with her. If you do that it'll push her further away and take longer for you to feel better about things.

 

It's not easy but it will get better. I'm about 5 months past the break up and feel a whole lot better about things than before.

 

Good luck!!

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