RussSpencer Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Hi everyone my names Russ. Im 25 years old and my girlfriend is 26. Basically I've been dating this girl for about a year now and everything is going great. Our relationship is perfect and we fight rarely. The issue that Im having is that prior to our relationship she had "hooked up" with a few people I'm friends with and that I see around from time to time. This isn't an extreme issue sometimes it just gets annoying when Im around them. Just because knowing she had been with them. She has been very faithful while with me and has never done anything wrong. Any advice for this issue? Its just something I find myself thinking about to often and it should effect our relationship because this happened before I met her.
soccerrprp Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 RussSpencer, Don't know what to tell you. You have to find a way to control your insecurity/jealousy. It's been about a year. Why post about this now? Anything happen recently? Or is this getting WORSE? You say that she's been faithful. The only thing that I see can is that you don't hang around these "friends." BUT, really, this was all before YOU hooked up with her. There's nothing that can change that.
Author RussSpencer Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 RussSpencer, Don't know what to tell you. You have to find a way to control your insecurity/jealousy. It's been about a year. Why post about this now? Anything happen recently? Or is this getting WORSE? You say that she's been faithful. The only thing that I see can is that you don't hang around these "friends." BUT, really, this was all before YOU hooked up with her. There's nothing that can change that. Well its just that a few of them I see often because of the neighborhood I live in and Its not something that always bothers me. Its just that it happened before and I need to move on. And when I see those people I don't want that to be the first picture that pops into my head
Author RussSpencer Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 RussSpencer, Don't know what to tell you. You have to find a way to control your insecurity/jealousy. It's been about a year. Why post about this now? Anything happen recently? Or is this getting WORSE? You say that she's been faithful. The only thing that I see can is that you don't hang around these "friends." BUT, really, this was all before YOU hooked up with her. There's nothing that can change that. I would say its gotten a little worse. Not sure why
soccerrprp Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I would say its gotten a little worse. Not sure why If there are no other signs, it could be that you are more invested, close to her. You may feel a little more threatened about ANYTHING that you perceive being a danger to the comfort you have with the relationship. Not entirely surprising, but also something you may need to put in check considering you have no reason to believe that your gf is doing anything inappropriate, right? We tend to become a little more defensive when more is at stake. Don't let this sabotage how and what the reality is regarding your relationship. IT'S GOING VERY WELL and be happy with that and move forward.
Author RussSpencer Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 If there are no other signs, it could be that you are more invested, close to her. You may feel a little more threatened about ANYTHING that you perceive being a danger to the comfort you have with the relationship. Not entirely surprising, but also something you may need to put in check considering you have no reason to believe that your gf is doing anything inappropriate, right? We tend to become a little more defensive when more is at stake. Don't let this sabotage how and what the reality is regarding your relationship. IT'S GOING VERY WELL and be happy with that and move forward. I definitely like her much more then the beginning. I do love her. I think thats why I get annoyed when I'm at a party or social gathering and these others that I have known and been friends with in the past are there that have hooked up with her. I feel stupid for still having that bother me, being its been so long. Its just not something I wanna think about and for some reason whenever there names are brought up its one of my first thoughts.
Author RussSpencer Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 If there are no other signs, it could be that you are more invested, close to her. You may feel a little more threatened about ANYTHING that you perceive being a danger to the comfort you have with the relationship. Not entirely surprising, but also something you may need to put in check considering you have no reason to believe that your gf is doing anything inappropriate, right? We tend to become a little more defensive when more is at stake. Don't let this sabotage how and what the reality is regarding your relationship. IT'S GOING VERY WELL and be happy with that and move forward. And no I am 100% sure she isn't doing anything wrong.
MidwestUSA Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Well its just that a few of them I see often because of the neighborhood I live in and Its not something that always bothers me. Its just that it happened before and I need to move on. And when I see those people I don't want that to be the first picture that pops into my head How many is a few? What are they chances that your social circle is going to include these other guys indefinitely? Often, we move on and people fade from our lives, which can be a good thing in cases like this.
Author RussSpencer Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 How many is a few? What are they chances that your social circle is going to include these other guys indefinitely? Often, we move on and people fade from our lives, which can be a good thing in cases like this. I would say 1 that I'm actually friends with. 3-4 that I will see who are friends with good friends. That kind of stuff.
Author RussSpencer Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 How many is a few? What are they chances that your social circle is going to include these other guys indefinitely? Often, we move on and people fade from our lives, which can be a good thing in cases like this. But the thing is I love her and I accept her flaws of the past before me. Its just annoying I feel that many will fade. But at the point being. Where I live I will often see them
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