MafiaGal4984 Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 Ok...so this guy I liked for months, but had a boyfriend at the time, told me he cares about me. Well eventually my boyfriend and I broke up and we planned dates but I had to cancel and so did he. We went on break, I ended up telling him how i felt (that i liked him also) and things were going great...then...he started going hot and cold all the time - really sweet and flirty one minute, distant the next...and i asked him about it and he said he is just really stressed with this semester, upcoming college graduation, baseball, etc, and that right now (and he said right now right now, not this year right now) he cant bring a girlfriend into the mix because he may or may not be around next year...so then i went out of town for a few days, came back and a couple days after that we talked most of the day...then we started flirting...heavily...anyways...that nite we made out and fooled around for a few hours...his kisses were amazing, he was such a giving lover, but we did not have sex..of any nature. I did not allow that. He left to go back to his place since we both had to be up in less then 3 hours anyways..but as soon as he came home he wrote me online and was talking about "next time i see you this...and next time that"...I really like this guy..a lot. And we connected soo well...and funny thing is. he was the one watching and reading me - "what are you thinking? is this okay? etc etc" veryintune. You dont think it was just a one nite stand do you? HELP!
NiCoLe20 Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 i think he just wants a casual hook up w/ no strings attached.... he already mentioned he doesnt have time for a g/f ... so now u can either just hook up w/ no strings attached like a friends w/ benefits, or you can not hook up and just be friends with him... dont grow feelings for this guy b/c he already made it clear on what he wants. so its up to you what to do... since u just got out of a relationship just have fun!! u dontneed to be boyfriend & girlfriend to have fun right? the more u show him how u dont care the more attracted to you he will be... well its different in most situations but ive learned about this....good luck
Hund1976 Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 I agree with the friends with benefits theory. Saying you don't have time for a girlfriend is kind of like giving you a disclaimer. That way if you hook up and then you call him on it he can say "well I told you last month I wasn't looking for a relationship"
alphamale Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 Originally posted by MafiaGal4984 but we did not have sex..of any nature. I did not allow that You dont think it was just a one nite stand do you? HELP! by definition, a one nite stand involves some type of sexual activity
kanga Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 I think you should wait and see what happens next before you try to interpret meaning into things. Has he called you since he stayed over? Have you gone out again? Did he imply wanting to see you again? Could be casual. Could be he wants something more. Could be he wants something more until you sleep with him, and then he's had enough.
mt_joy Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 Well, he did say he did not want a girlfriend. You are his friend. Maybe a FWB. Who knows? Ask him! We can't tell you how he feels. But, no, I don't think he wants a gf, just someone to date and mess around with every now and then.
kanga Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 If I can play devil's advocate for a brief moment -- Saying you don't want a relationship doesn't always mean you don't want a relationship. I've said it before when feeling out the waters or if I've been uncertain about someone or if I thought someone was just engaging in friendly conversation with me. I don't think there's ever been a time when I wasn't actually not wanting a relationship, given the right opportunity with the right person. Probably makes no sense, but I'll just say that I am an example of one person who has, even if it's stupid to say, said not interested in having a boyfriend despite being open to having one.
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