gtiboy Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 Hi, I was seeing a girl for a year, everything was great, always got on well, never argued. I am 31 and she is 26. I was her first long term boyfriend at the age of 25. All other guys she has seen in the past lasted no longer than 2/3 months, she says that's because she never met the right guy. Up untill last month, a few weeks after a our 1 year anniversary she started to become more distant with me. This coincided with her having a panic attack and suffering from anxiety in which she started to take anti anxiety tablets for. (she has been feeling quite depressed with a work situation for the last 2/3 months) Two weeks past by and we meet up for drinks, she tells me she is unhappy, and starts to blame me for lots of silly things like something I may have said or done months ago, that wouldn't constitute as break up. I ask her if she stills love me and she said she will always love me. She proceeds to ask for space and time to think about things. I try to convince her that all these things are nothing to worry about but to no avail. So I give her space and two weeks later and she texts me that she's breaking up with me saying...i'll always be important to her and she feels it's best if she stays single for the moment, and she needs to be on her own right now. I've noticed that just before and after the breakup she's been out getting drunk with friends more, and the fact she broke up with me out of the blue - I'm thinking is this a GIGS related? I can't seem to get over the fact how someone can be so into me and the next she's unhappy and gone, especially as a few weeks before all of this she seemed fine and told me she was lucky to have me...can anyone explain what the hell went wrong?
Mr.Pine Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 I can't seem to get over the fact how someone can be so into me and the next she's unhappy and gone, especially as a few weeks before all of this she seemed fine and told me she was lucky to have me...can anyone explain what the hell went wrong? Does it really matter what went wrong? GIGS, CIGS, DIGS or FIGS. She is outta there. "She seemed fine"... to you. Away from you, she was miserable. The more time she spent with her mates, the less time she wanted to spend with you. Perhaps her friends were telling her you were worthless or not good enough for her. Point is, she is over you. Your single biggest mistake was trying to convince her to stay after she needed time and space. You basically threw any chance in the rubbish bin by displaying such beta behaviour. The moment a woman says she needs either time or space or room to breathe, you give it to her...immediately, if not sooner. You don't try to talk her out of it. You don't ask her why. And you definitely don't beg and plead and cry for another chance. Starting now, go dark. Go NC. Again, it doesn't matter why she left, the fact of the matter is she left. Start taking care of you. Knock her off her pedestal and stop putting all your eggies in one babe basket. 1
sportzhl24 Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 Definitely sounds gigs related. The way she just turned around and left, and the way she used minuscule issues in the past as reasons why she is unhappy all points to gigs. Human beings are very strange creatures. I know it is difficult right now but try not to take this too personally. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong in the relationship. Sorry for your loss however. One day you are going to meet the perfect girl, one who is not anything like your ex. Best
Author gtiboy Posted March 23, 2014 Author Posted March 23, 2014 What I'd like to know is what makes someone unhappy, if they were happy for virtually all of it. I notice this happens alot in relationships where the girl becomes unhappy even if the guy did all he could. Seems like alot of people don't appreciate what they have. Do some people expect to much? 2
sportzhl24 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 Dude I was dumped 8 months ago by the girl I loved. As much as it hurt and continues to hurt, I know that she was just doing the right thing for her. She was just trying to be happy. And I try to think about it in terms of my own life, because I have rejected people as well (not as harshly, inconsiderately, or after such a long relationship, I might have you) and I can remember thinking that the minute I felt that we were not compatible any longer, I ended it. People do things to make themselves happier. Accept the fact that she is gone. Work to improve your life because one day you are going to look back and be glad it's over, because your life will be so much more improved.
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