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Question for people 35+ who have never been married

RedRobin

By RedRobin
in General Relationship Discussion

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RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
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Says who?

 

Are you saying that men your age who are healthy partners don't exist in your area?

 

Each man is an individual. It sounds like you are hAving trouble finding, or attracting, the healthy ones.

 

 

I'm saying that men my age who are physically healthy AND make healthy partners don't exist in my area. Yes.

 

 

Or they are rarer than an albino elephant... so when one happens to be spotted in the wild, the nearby women go into death match mode with each other. This whole area is like this... economically AND dating. It really is as crappy as I'm telling you.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
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Most likely it's one of three things: can't attract quality men of their own age, so they go for a much older MM who seems to have a lot to offer (looks, money, career success, charisma) without realizing that underneath the pretty package is a manipulative pig. Or the woman has daddy issues and wants to be taken care of by an older man or relive the daughter/daddy relationship in order to process her unmet needs from her own father. Or the woman has low self esteem and is easily charmed by a smooth talking older MM that throws her some compliments and knows how to manipulate her.

 

Its easy to paint the guy as the predator.....You aren't correct...in an overwhelming majority of cases...Sure, infidelity is never considered a good trait, but many of these women know EXACTLY what they are doing...

 

Its funny how smart and highly educated women all of a sudden become naive morons...:rolleyes:...Dont kid yourself....

 

***News flash***

 

Younger women find fit and attractive older men highly desirable...there needn't be any "tricks"...

 

TFY

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RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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Its easy to paint the guy as the predator.....You aren't correct...in an overwhelming majority of cases...Sure, infidelity is never considered a good trait, but many of these women know EXACTLY what they are doing...

 

Its funny how smart and highly educated women all of a sudden become naive morons...:rolleyes:...Dont kid yourself....

 

***News flash***

 

Younger women find fit and attractive older men highly desirable...there needn't be any "tricks"...

 

TFY

 

 

Younger women with issues. Yep.

 

 

I've never found older men attractive. Probably because my parents have a healthy marriage and I have a good relationship with my dad.

 

 

...but we get it that older men need to feel like they still 'got it'... and don't care much what the source is...

 

 

...as long as it looks good and they have a nice story to tell their friends about how young she is... Hence the term 'mid-life crisis'.

 

 

:rolleyes:

 

 

It also occurred to me that a lot of men mistake women being nice or flirting as genuine attraction.... in reality, they aren't. Even if they get the occasional young'in. Doesn't mean anything. It just means that men get patted on the back for being man-whores and have less to lose. So why not go eff that hot mess of a young woman?? And work it for all its worth. Yea, I can see the 'wisdom' of that for some guys.

 

 

Only difference is... I'm not willing to be THAT young(er) woman...and it pisses some of you guys off.

 

 

oh... in EVERY SINGLE CASE... that involved an older married man?? He always hit on me. I've had a couple even threaten my career advancement if I didn't. Finding cagey ways to decline without losing my job, being obliged to report to HR, or otherwise be inconvenienced became quite a skill for me. Still is.

 

 

If guys tell me the woman threw herself at him, I'm always skeptical. The same way I'm skeptical about men who have lots of casual sex or men who have FWB. It's usually BS and some kind of manipulation is involved.

 

 

One of the reasons why older women/younger man relationships are rarer. The older one (the woman) isn't likely to be engaging in manipulation to get the interaction to happen. Not to mention the reverse stigma for the woman.

Edited by RedRobin
KathyM Established Member

KathyM

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Its easy to paint the guy as the predator.....You aren't correct...in an overwhelming majority of cases...Sure, infidelity is never considered a good trait, but many of these women know EXACTLY what they are doing...

 

Its funny how smart and highly educated women all of a sudden become naive morons...:rolleyes:...Dont kid yourself....

 

***News flash***

 

Younger women find fit and attractive older men highly desirable...there needn't be any "tricks"...

 

TFY

Statistics show that only 7% of all marriages are between partners who have a greater than 10 year age gap. That would mean that your theory is not correct. The vast majority of young women (93%) want men who are closer to their own age. You can be in denial about your aging all you want, but those are the statistics. And my own observations IRL would bear that out. The women who were in some form of relationship or affair with a much older man either had daddy issues or was psychologically impaired (borderline, dependent, schizophrenic, low self esteem, etc.)

  • Like 2
Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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I live in the Northeast and it is not nearly as bad as she says. In fact New Jersey as of a few years ago had the lowest divorce rate in the nation so we must be doing something right.

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RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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I live in the Northeast and it is not nearly as bad as she says. In fact New Jersey as of a few years ago had the lowest divorce rate in the nation so we must be doing something right.

 

 

Yes, you are right... The Northeast has the lowest divorce rates in the country... MA used to be the lowest.

 

 

Which means that the ones who actually DO end up getting divorced up here do so because there are major issues...

 

 

... and that is what I have to deal with. Those guys, and the perpetual commitment phobes who aren't marrying anyone.

gaius Established Member

gaius

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A guy who is 5 years younger? That's not outside my age parameters. 5 years +/-

 

Anything outside that I wouldn't take seriously.

 

I've come to a decision on the never married thing too... Ok for just having fun. Not for anything serious... and since I'm not a 'just for having fun' kind of person... guess they are out as dating prospects.

I said almost.. and I didn't even know how old she was when I asked her out. It wouldn't have mattered.

 

Hard enough to find someone who pushes all your right buttons, let alone restricting them to a 5 year span in both directions. You're only hurting yourself if you won't give a younger guy a chance because you think he's "wasting his youth" on less worthy old you. And that he'll someday come to realize that and hit the road.

gaius Established Member

gaius

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Arrested development? lol. Immaturity? Seriously, of the men I know who pursue substantially younger women, some are narcissists (meet the criteria for NPD and need a younger woman to validate them and feed their ego), a couple are schizophrenic, one has a delusional disorder, a couple are serial cheaters. Yeah, not the creme of the crop in that bunch by any means.

It couldn't be they just ran across someone they feel drawn to that happens to be younger? :p I was reading Michelle's post's about meeting someone 13 years younger after a 20 year marriage with someone her age and a period of dating. Sounds perfectly sane and rational to me. She seems to share some things in common with Red too. Being in way above average shape, etc etc.

 

You can basically turn what makes anyone tick sexually into some sort of dysfunction but that only seems to happen in the times society doesn't approve of the couple. :rolleyes:

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KathyM Established Member

KathyM

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It couldn't be they just ran across someone they feel drawn to that happens to be younger? :p

No, not for the men I know IRL. They purposely pursue much younger women. They are either narcissists, delusional, or have some other types of mental disorder. Seriously. All the normal healthy men I know much prefer a woman closer to their own age to have a relationship with, because they feel that their peer is who they are most compatible with and who they would have the most in common with and the greatest connection with.

I was reading Michelle's post's about meeting someone 13 years younger after a 20 year marriage with someone her age and a period of dating. Sounds perfectly sane and rational to me. She seems to share some things in common with Red too. Being in way above average shape, etc etc.

Well, I can't speak to some internet person I don't know, I can only speak of what I have encountered IRL, and the statistics on marriage that shows 93% of women married someone close to their own age. I'm sure there are some exceptions to the norm.

You can basically turn what makes anyone tick sexually into some sort of dysfunction but that only seems to happen in the times society doesn't approve of the couple. :rolleyes:

i'm not denying that men are turned on by young women, I'm just saying that the vast majority of both men and women prefer relationships with people close to their own age.

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thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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No, not for the men I know IRL. They purposely pursue much younger women. They are either narcissists, delusional, or have some other types of mental disorder. Seriously. All the normal healthy men I know much prefer a woman closer to their own age to have a relationship with, because they feel that their peer is who they are most compatible with and who they would have the most in common with and the greatest connection with.

 

Well, I can't speak to some internet person I don't know, I can only speak of what I have encountered IRL, and the statistics on marriage that shows 93% of women married someone close to their own age. I'm sure there are some exceptions to the norm.

 

i'm not denying that men are turned on by young women, I'm just saying that the vast majority of both men and women prefer relationships with people close to their own age.

 

This is so stupid.....

 

OK fine...I have no idea where these statistics come from, but whatever..So the 7% now are all "damaged goods" ?? No way....And how can you trash anyone'e opiniion based on what you said? I never mentioned anything about marriage..A "marriage" doesnt mean anything....we all know that there are completely healthy LTR's that arent bound by marriage and an overwhelming majority of marriages that are total disasters....Id wager that most of these "success" stories of younger women and older men rarely involve marriage, because thre older guy already went down that road and doesnt want to go back.....so much for that...

 

Again, people ...Its a matter of personal preference....

 

Lets face it....women are so insecure as a gender overall, they will do just about ANYTHING to shame a younger woman that doesnt have baggage, saggy tits, frown lines, and saddlebags...Sorry to be blunt, but its the truth...And if these younger women dare pursue a desirable older man, they they are tarred and feathered by angry mobs...seen it a million times..

 

My office manager is a stunningly attractive woman in her late 40's...She is currently in a LTR with a guy that is 61...I know the guy...physical, outdoorsy type, great shape...all his hair...great personality....Makes decent money, but not rich..I know this woman like a sister..There is nothing wrong with her and she is madly in love with this guy...No they arent married and probably wont... so I guess they dont count among the 7%..:rolleyes:

 

 

I am not disagreeing with you ....And I have said it numerous times in this thread...It woudlnt be what I would do...But if you are going to tell me that every woman that seeks a partner thats older than them have issues....well....youre wrong...

 

 

Oh, and PS...If the roles were reversed...It would be a sea of high fives and "you go girl"!!!.....:rolleyes:

 

 

TFY

Edited by thefooloftheyear
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robbysurfs Established Member

robbysurfs

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Honestly just because I like to have a good time does not always mean I am jumping into bed with every young woman that shakes her behind at me, or throwing parties till the weee hours in the morning. I meant the idea of being with someone freely without having to feel like time is running out or pressed to marry. Like actually having fun without expectation and that means if marriage is there so be it but until that day comes a long I am gonna enjoy my life. Another thing is I take good care of myself I eat right I dont smoke I exercise regularly.In my experience older woman except a small few let their selfs go. If I am putting in work to look good and feel good and so should my partner.

KathyM Established Member

KathyM

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This is so stupid.....

What's so stupid about it? That 93% of women prefer relationships with men close to their own age? Apparently, you don't like the idea that they prefer men close to their own age.

OK fine...I have no idea where these statistics come from, but whatever..So the 7% now are all "damaged goods" ?? No way....And "marriage" doesnt mean anything....we all know that there are completely healthy LTR's that arent bound by marriage and an overwhelming majority of marriages that are total disasters....so much for that...

Whether they are married or not, the vast majority of women prefer relationships with men who are close to their own age.

Its a matter of personal preference....

 

Lets face it....women are so insecure as a gender overall, they will do just about ANYTHING to shame a younger woman that doesnt have baggage, saggy tits, frown lines, and saddlebags...Sorry to be blunt, but its the truth...And if these younger women dare pursue a desirable older man, they they are tarred and feathered by angry mobs...seen it a million times..

i don't personally care who younger women pursue. It doesn't affect my life at all, except for the douchebag older men who preyed off of my sisters or nieces. I have no insecurity about my own age, I just don't like to see older men prey on unsuspecting younger women. My sister was preyed on by a much older MM. So was my niece. Her "boyfriend", although not married at the time, took advantage of the fact that my niece had daddy issues due to her crappy father. So I'm not a big fan of much older men who prey off of much younger naive women.

My office manager is a stunningly attractive woman in her late 40's...She is currently in a LTR with a guy that is 61...I know the guy...physical, outdoorsy type, great shape...all his hair...great personality....Makes decent money, but not rich..I know this woman like a sister..There is nothing wrong with her and she is madly in love with this guy...No they arent married and probably wont... so I guess they dont count among the 7%..:rolleyes:

They're the exception, not the rule.

 

I am not disagreeing with you ....And I have said it numerous times in this thread...It woudlnt be what I would do...But if you are going to tell me that every woman that seeks a partner thats older than them have issues....well....youre wrong...

i didn't say that every woman that pursues older men have psychological issues. I said the vast majority of women prefer men closer to their own age. I also said that the women I know who have had a relationship or affair with much older men had daddy issues, low self esteem, or other psychological issues. Perhaps of the 7% who are with older men, some do not have these issues, but most likely, the majority of that 7% do. Of all the women I know who were in relationships with these older men, they all had these issues.

 

 

Oh, and PS...If the roles were reversed...It would be a sea of high fives and "you go girl"!!!.....:rolleyes:

 

 

TFY

Well, you wouldn't be hearing that from me.

  • Like 1
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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What's so stupid about it? That 93% of women prefer relationships with men close to their own age? Apparently, you don't like the idea that they prefer men close to their own age.

 

Whether they are married or not, the vast majority of women prefer relationships with men who are close to their own age.

i don't personally care who younger women pursue. It doesn't affect my life at all, except for the douchebag older men who preyed off of my sisters or nieces. I have no insecurity about my own age, I just don't like to see older men prey on unsuspecting younger women. My sister was preyed on by a much older MM. So was my niece. Her "boyfriend", although not married at the time, took advantage of the fact that my niece had daddy issues due to her crappy father. So I'm not a big fan of much older men who prey off of much younger naive women.

They're the exception, not the rule.

 

i didn't say that every woman that pursues older men have psychological issues. I said the vast majority of women prefer men closer to their own age. I also said that the women I know who have had a relationship or affair with much older men had daddy issues, low self esteem, or other psychological issues. Perhaps of the 7% who are with older men, some do not have these issues, but most likely, the majority of that 7% do. Of all the women I know who were in relationships with these older men, they all had these issues.

 

Well, you wouldn't be hearing that from me.

 

Again....

 

Both you(and RR) keep using the "predatory douchebags" and the ego maniacs to make your point...OK...I agree with you ...They are azsholes..we are all on the same page..It would be the equivalent of me trying to make a point by saying that drunk driving causes all motor vehicle accidents..

 

But at the same time, you patently fail to acknowledge the fact that maybe a well put together professional woman in her late 20's who has had enough of immature little boys(which most of the guys their age are-just read the threads that get posted on this site if you doubt this)..might actually consider (or heaven forbid want/prefer)a successful and youthful guy thats, say, in his late 30's or early 40's..??.All of a sudden she is a damaged person with daddy issues and a mental disorder?..huh?

 

And if a guy just happens to like the company of that woman, then he is just an old dope who is going out and buying a hairpiece and a red Corvette to impress his metally challenged younger woman?

 

Forgive me if I am wrong here, but the way you guys portray this sounds a lot like "sore loser" mentality than actual common sense..Just saying...

 

TFY

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TB Rhine Established Member

TB Rhine

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So what condition does the older person who's willing to date the younger suffer from?

 

Having a functioning penis.

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Els Established Member

Els

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Some of the judgmental posts here are ridiculous. I've always dated men very close to my age and I think RR has every right to not date older men if she doesn't want to. But I also believe in other folks having the right to do as they damn well please without passing armchair diagnoses on them.

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KathyM Established Member

KathyM

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Some of the judgmental posts here are ridiculous. I've always dated men very close to my age and I think RR has every right to not date older men if she doesn't want to. But I also believe in other folks having the right to do as they damn well please without passing armchair diagnoses on them.

Wow, that's really unfair for you to say that. I merely stated what my personal experience has been. I'm entitled to state what my personal experience has been, just as you and everybody else here.

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RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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OK fine...I have no idea where these statistics come from, but whatever..So the 7% now are all "damaged goods" ??

 

Most likely, yes. That's my opinion.

 

Lets face it....women are so insecure as a gender overall, they will do just about ANYTHING to shame a younger woman that doesnt have baggage, saggy tits, frown lines, and saddlebags...Sorry to be blunt, but its the truth...And if these younger women dare pursue a desirable older man, they they are tarred and feathered by angry mobs...seen it a million times..
... and men are so corrupt and thoughtless as a gender overall that they will do ANYTHING to get what they want, in spite of the consequences to the other person.

 

I also know (have witnessed first hand) that these same guys don't get any personal validation from being with a peer their own age. They treat their same age peers like crap, but dote on the younger ones. Like they would a child or a favorite pet. Some women find that comforting, I guess. I don't want men who find younger women attractive as partners. They are effed in the head.

 

My office manager is a stunningly attractive woman in her late 40's...She is currently in a LTR with a guy that is 61...I know the guy...physical, outdoorsy type, great shape...all his hair...great personality....Makes decent money, but not rich..I know this woman like a sister..There is nothing wrong with her and she is madly in love with this guy...No they arent married and probably wont... so I guess they dont count among the 7%..:rolleyes:
She can't be all that great if she had to settle for a guy that much older than her.

 

It doesn't occur to you, I suppose, that I could get a guy like that any day of the effing week. Any reasonably attractive younger woman could. Like shooting fish in a barrel...

 

...And for a reasonably attractive guy (on the outside) who doesn't really give a shyte about outcomes... and only cares about himself... it is also very easy to pick up a younger woman with issues. Same thing. The world pats him on the back... just like it pats players on the back. Sick. I don't plan on adding to that number.

 

Oh, and PS...If the roles were reversed...It would be a sea of high fives and "you go girl"!!!.....:rolleyes:

not where I come from.

 

Again....

 

Both you(and RR) keep using the "predatory douchebags" and the ego maniacs to make your point...OK...I agree with you ...They are azsholes..we are all on the same page..It would be the equivalent of me trying to make a point by saying that drunk driving causes all motor vehicle accidents..

 

But at the same time, you patently fail to acknowledge the fact that maybe a well put together professional woman in her late 20's who has had enough of immature little boys(which most of the guys their age are-just read the threads that get posted on this site if you doubt this)..might actually consider (or heaven forbid want/prefer)a successful and youthful guy thats, say, in his late 30's or early 40's..??.All of a sudden she is a damaged person with daddy issues and a mental disorder?..huh?

 

yep. That woman is also grossly overestimating her own 'maturity' if she finds that kind of attention to be validating at all... instead of rightly wondering WTF a guy his age is doing chasing after a woman her age.

 

And if a guy just happens to like the company of that woman, then he is just an old dope who is going out and buying a hairpiece and a red Corvette to impress his metally challenged younger woman?
He is if he needs to eff her, yea. He can enjoy her company without making her a sexual object. Why the f*ck is it that men have to sexualize every goddamn interaction with a woman?? Are you really that effed in the head?? as a gender?? I guess the answer is yes.

 

Forgive me if I am wrong here, but the way you guys portray this sounds a lot like "sore loser" mentality than actual common sense..Just saying...

 

TFY

I'm NOT a sore 'loser' to expect to be treated with respect by older men... not them wanting to dive down my shorts because I happen to be over 18.

 

Has it occurred to you that SOME of us are just sick of these men coming after us they they are ****ing ENTITLED.

 

How would YOU like it, if from a young age, you were having to fend off advances from your much older co-workers, your boss(es), your mechanic, chiropractor... you name it?? People you thought were mentors or trusted friends. I mean, at some point, where does it effing STOP? Can women take a GD break once in a while?? Or is everything with a penis suspect??

 

I guess, in your world, everything with a penis is suspect... and it's my job to fend them off... Not the men's job to have a F*CKING CONSCIENCE and a little bit of self control.

 

So no... I hate those men.. don't you ever assume I'm jealous of those women. I find them weak... and I pity them. I pity them that they think the best they can do is be with an older man.... who doesn't think twice about the life he's sucking up to have his own selfish needs met.

 

Wow, that's really unfair for you to say that. I merely stated what my personal experience has been. I'm entitled to state what my personal experience has been, just as you and everybody else here.

 

 

Exactly. 10X.

Edited by RedRobin
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RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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oh, TFY... I almost forgot about the two teachers who promised me a higher grade if I'd sleep with them. Lucky me... I didn't need to sleep with them because I already had the high grade in the class.

 

... and the third (married, BTW) who recommended me for a much needed scholarship... then invited me to his room during the field trip to the sponsor. Which I politely declined. Afterwards, I needed his help to pass his very difficult class. He was the only one who taught that required class, BTW. I had to swallow that anger every time I went to his office.... You know what he said to me?? "Better an older man's princess than a younger man's slave" Some role model HE was. Did I mention he was married too? Yes I did.

 

 

There were more than 300 students in his class. I was #3. Only a fraction of a point behind #1 and #2. Because I didn't let that shytehead scare me away.... and I made it through college... even though I did it 100% on my own without any financial assistance from my parents... I worked in those offices while an older boss grabbed my ass... or a co-worker hinged a recommendation on a date. Or I was told I was 'too pretty' to go out in the field... while they sent the pot-smoking, tardy, slack-ass guy.

 

so don't you EVER mistake my anger at older men for 'jealousy' of younger women.

 

What I find especially appalling, and yes saddening, is NOW that I made it through that disgusting obstacle course... I MADE it to become a healthy, self sufficient WOMAN...

 

I'm now told I'm not wanted anymore??!!! That I'm supposed to settle for those same men (in spirit at least) who tried to take advantage of me when I was younger??? That I'm supposed to feel effing GRATEFUL if a guy my own age wants ME instead of some (relatively speaking) little girl??!!

 

GTFO.

 

You have a daughter, right? Are you going to be backslapping some old codger that comes chasing after her? I doubt it.

 

Even when she's 40, she'll STILL be your daughter... and you STILL won't want to see her trundled off to some guy your age or anything close to it... is my bet.

 

I mean, when the time comes... I don't see you setting up your daughter with your same age friends Mr. Cool 'n Trendy "we're all equals inside"... guy.

 

Think about it. It's not just about you and getting older and your own d*ck. You are setting an example for your daughter too. With your attitude and what you choose to do with your life.

Edited by RedRobin
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted (edited)
Most likely, yes. That's my opinion.

 

... and men are so corrupt and thoughtless as a gender overall that they will do ANYTHING to get what they want, in spite of the consequences to the other person.

 

I also know (have witnessed first hand) that these same guys don't get any personal validation from being with a peer their own age. They treat their same age peers like crap, but dote on the younger ones. Like they would a child or a favorite pet. Some women find that comforting, I guess. I don't want men who find younger women attractive as partners. They are effed in the head.

 

She can't be all that great if she had to settle for a guy that much older than her.

 

It doesn't occur to you, I suppose, that I could get a guy like that any day of the effing week. Any reasonably attractive younger woman could. Like shooting fish in a barrel...

 

...And for a reasonably attractive guy (on the outside) who doesn't really give a shyte about outcomes... and only cares about himself... it is also very easy to pick up a younger woman with issues. Same thing. The world pats him on the back... just like it pats players on the back. Sick. I don't plan on adding to that number.

 

not where I come from.

 

 

 

yep. That woman is also grossly overestimating her own 'maturity' if she finds that kind of attention to be validating at all... instead of rightly wondering WTF a guy his age is doing chasing after a woman her age.

 

He is if he needs to eff her, yea. He can enjoy her company without making her a sexual object. Why the f*ck is it that men have to sexualize every goddamn interaction with a woman?? Are you really that effed in the head?? as a gender?? I guess the answer is yes.

 

I'm NOT a sore 'loser' to expect to be treated with respect by older men... not them wanting to dive down my shorts because I happen to be over 18.

 

Has it occurred to you that SOME of us are just sick of these men coming after us they they are ****ing ENTITLED.

 

How would YOU like it, if from a young age, you were having to fend off advances from your much older co-workers, your boss(es), your mechanic, chiropractor... you name it?? People you thought were mentors or trusted friends. I mean, at some point, where does it effing STOP? Can women take a GD break once in a while?? Or is everything with a penis suspect??

 

I guess, in your world, everything with a penis is suspect... and it's my job to fend them off... Not the men's job to have a F*CKING CONSCIENCE and a little bit of self control.

 

So no... I hate those men.. don't you ever assume I'm jealous of those women. I find them weak... and I pity them. I pity them that they think the best they can do is be with an older man.... who doesn't think twice about the life he's sucking up to have his own selfish needs met.

 

 

 

 

Exactly. 10X.

 

Ugh...

 

Sorry RR, you are just ranting incomprehensibly at this point....And making blanket generalizations about men as a whole...Step back and take a deep breath....

 

 

Go back and read my comment on the last post.(sigh)..I AGREE with you that any guy who is a predatory douchebag, and trying to coerce a younger woman to sleep with him for any reason is just a garden variety aszhole..There is nothing more that needs to be said about it...End of story..And let me fill you in on something, girl...and trust me on this....if you think the opposite doesn't happen, you are delusional...It does...and those women are equally repulsive..

 

 

Hmm..This thread got me thinking..I can recall several posters on this site(women), who have repeatedly mentioned that they favor the company of younger men...I say good for them!!...If thats what they find to be better suited for them, great!! maybe they are more youthful and dont want the average beer gut, 40 something couch potato..Thats terrific!! id probably do the same thing if I had tits and a vagina..

 

But then, Neither you, nor KathyM(or anyone else for that matter) have ever called them on it-or if you did I didnt recall it....Why is this? If you guys are consistent in your thinking process, then it shouldnt be that only men can't play in this game. right? ..Women are fine here? Just want to make sure you guys arent displaying hypocrisy here..Show me a post where you called out another woman for this behavior and I will stand corrected..

 

*I wont hold my breath, dont worry*....:laugh:

 

 

TFY

Edited by thefooloftheyear
  • Like 1
gaius Established Member

gaius

Posted
Posted
No, not for the men I know IRL. They purposely pursue much younger women. They are either narcissists, delusional, or have some other types of mental disorder. Seriously. All the normal healthy men I know much prefer a woman closer to their own age to have a relationship with, because they feel that their peer is who they are most compatible with and who they would have the most in common with and the greatest connection with.

 

Well, I can't speak to some internet person I don't know, I can only speak of what I have encountered IRL, and the statistics on marriage that shows 93% of women married someone close to their own age. I'm sure there are some exceptions to the norm.

 

i'm not denying that men are turned on by young women, I'm just saying that the vast majority of both men and women prefer relationships with people close to their own age.

You're a therapist right? So it would make sense a lot of the people you're around have issues and need therapy? :p I don't think you can really look at marriage statistics and use them as an accurate barometer of what people really want. I think when it comes to getting married most people are likely to place greater emphasis on what they're supposed to want instead of what they actually want. And as Red pointed out earlier most people are married before they hit 35. Who even really knows themselves and all their true desires by then? And is totally comfortable to conflict with society and their upbringing to so publicly embrace what that is if it's something off the beaten path?

 

Let's say you're one of the women in Red's social circle and you do have an affinity for a guy who's older. Are you gonna marry him knowing that's the kind of attitude you're going to receive? Or even admit you have the hots for him? I'd say maybe only 7% of people or so might be that brave.

  • Like 2
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted

But then, Neither you, nor KathyM(or anyone else for that matter) have ever called them on it-or if you did I didnt recall it....Why is this? If you guys are consistent in your thinking process, then it shouldnt be that only men can't play in this game. right? ..Women are fine here? Just want to make sure you guys arent displaying hypocrisy here..Show me a post where you called out another woman for this behavior and I will stand corrected..

I think the difference is that most younger men would not marry those older women and often wouldn't be interested in more than sex with them and the older women (you would hope) know this. It might be predatory behaviour in the sense that it's easy to have one up on someone with less life experience but most younger men don't look to marry young and most young men will look to older women for sexual experience or to have the kind of companionship they don't get from their young peers.

 

While younger women will often see older men as long term or marriage potential. They walk into these 'relationships' with closed eyes.

 

There are of course excpetions to this but really you aren't comparing like with like here.

  • Like 1
gaius Established Member

gaius

Posted
Posted
I think the difference is that most younger men would not marry those older women and often wouldn't be interested in more than sex with them and the older women (you would hope) know this. It might be predatory behaviour in the sense that it's easy to have one up on someone with less life experience but most younger men don't look to marry young and most young men will look to older women for sexual experience or to have the kind of companionship they don't get from their young peers.

 

While younger women will often see older men as long term or marriage potential. They walk into these 'relationships' with closed eyes.

 

There are of course excpetions to this but really you aren't comparing like with like here.

Most younger men look to every girl for sexual experience. I hate that so many women feel that way. That because some guy used an older woman it somehow means it was because she was older and he didn't use 10 other around his age or younger women right along with her. :mad:

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted
Most younger men look to every girl for sexual experience. I hate that so many women feel that way. That because some guy used an older woman it somehow means it was because she was older and he didn't use 10 other around his age or younger women right along with her. :mad:

Yes, that's what I should have put. Older women provide a different kind of experience (obviously).

 

These things don't offend me to be honest. My job is to avoid users and most of the time I'm successful. It is what it is. Everyone wants something.

  • Like 1
Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted
Ugh...

 

Sorry RR, you are just ranting incomprehensibly at this point....And making blanket generalizations about men as a whole...Step back and take a deep breath....

 

 

Go back and read my comment on the last post.(sigh)..I AGREE with you that any guy who is a predatory douchebag, and trying to coerce a younger woman to sleep with him for any reason is just a garden variety aszhole..There is nothing more that needs to be said about it...End of story..And let me fill you in on something, girl...and trust me on this....if you think the opposite doesn't happen, you are delusional...It does...and those women are equally repulsive..

 

 

Hmm..This thread got me thinking..I can recall several posters on this site(women), who have repeatedly mentioned that they favor the company of younger men...I say good for them!!...If thats what they find to be better suited for them, great!! maybe they are more youthful and dont want the average beer gut, 40 something couch potato..Thats terrific!! id probably do the same thing if I had tits and a vagina..

 

But then, Neither you, nor KathyM(or anyone else for that matter) have ever called them on it-or if you did I didnt recall it....Why is this? If you guys are consistent in your thinking process, then it shouldnt be that only men can't play in this game. right? ..Women are fine here? Just want to make sure you guys arent displaying hypocrisy here..Show me a post where you called out another woman for this behavior and I will stand corrected..

 

*I wont hold my breath, dont worry*....:laugh:

 

 

TFY

 

This right here. I am married to an older woman but there is a lot of hypocrisy on here. How about letting consenting adults do what they want? A 30 or 40 year old women who chooses to date older men can make her own decisions but some want to treat them like children who don't know what is best for them.

  • Like 1
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
I think the difference is that most younger men would not marry those older women and often wouldn't be interested in more than sex with them and the older women (you would hope) know this. It might be predatory behaviour in the sense that it's easy to have one up on someone with less life experience but most younger men don't look to marry young and most young men will look to older women for sexual experience or to have the kind of companionship they don't get from their young peers.

 

While younger women will often see older men as long term or marriage potential. They walk into these 'relationships' with closed eyes.

 

There are of course excpetions to this but really you aren't comparing like with like here.

 

I can buy this...

 

But you have to admit....guys wont do the same thing that women do in these circumstances...They wont gang up and shame a younger guy for dating an older woman...

 

I remember some years ago, one of my cousins(who was 40ish at the time) showed up at a family function with a woman in her late 20's...ALL of my older female cousins were ripping her to shreds behind her back..I didnt get it..She seemed like a lovely young lady..Its almost as if they hate the competition..and they didnt even have a dog in the fight!! It didnt work out, who knows why...but the point is that she got tore up for no apparent reason other than age/attractiveness..

 

TFY

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