Almond_Joy Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 This actually makes sense. I can only bring home her allowance throughout the week and tell her its all that i made. What do you think a reasonable allowance for her would be? I want her to have fun. But not so much cash she blows it willy nilly. She also does all the grocery shopping for the house. So maybe 1,000 a week sounds fair? She'll have to use a good chunk of that for groceries and transportation to and from school. And this also doesn't help so much with the problem of her going into my account. I can't tell her that i'm putting her on an allowance that would make her upset. And if i cut off her access to my bank accounts that would make her upset too. And i understand where she is coming from. She has always given me everything she had, completely. The first year we started dating she said to me "you know anything you want you can just ask me for it and i'll give it to you if i can". So if i'm not completely open with her she'll feel as if i'm the one whose pulling away from the relationship. Shes strong in life but very weak and insecure when it comes to love. You're up against a lot here. She comes from a well off family so it sounds like she's never had much reason to budget. If she also takes you telling her to budget as a threat to the relationship.....I have trouble seeing that as anything other than a maturity issue. It may only be temporary but right now gambling winnings is your livelihood. You can tell her that you want to make sure she has a certain standard quality of life because you feel after everything she's done for and with you she deserves a good comfortable life. BUT let her know that your "job" right now does not give steady income. You would like her to help you maintain a certain quality of life ALL the time by budgeting money when you have it. That explanation is the truth and completely geared toward supporting her. If she spins that into you not loving her or being invested in the relationship then she's got attachment issues and needs some counseling. I agree that she should not have access to your account. Can you set one up for her and just automatically transfer her money into it at regular intervals? $1,000 a week? Roughly 4k a month. That's double what I bring home in a month :-/. And I pay rent car insurance medical insurance groceries 401k....EVERYTHING 50/50 with my bf out of that 2k a month. A grand a week is more than enough for her to be comfortable. Her damn "friends" can hit the road. They're nothing but a bunch of moochers and I bet as soon as she starts spending less they'll disappear. Even better because then she has no reason to burn all that extra money.
InnocentMan Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 $1000 a week for food and the bus? No wonder her family left town. They're probably escaping money lenders.
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