Els Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 Actually, she can be faulted for this, because she lead him to believe that she wanted a monogamous relationship. She then decided to bail because she got bored of him or perhaps that was never her intention in the first place. Just google "Hookup Culture", the content of what the OP posted is just one of many examples. Sounds like she just decided she didn't want a R with him, for whatever reason.
irc333 Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 Sounds like she just decided she didn't want a R with him, for whatever reason. Right, and for the reasons I just explained.
RedRobin Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 May I ask how long you dated her before sex? I always tell everyone (man or woman)... you really ought to hold out at least a couple of months and get to know someone before having sex if you are seriously looking for a LTR. Even with the best of intentions on both sides, most budding relationships crash and burn before then.... and those with bad intentions who are just saying whatever you want to hear to reel you in have a very, very difficult time keeping their stories straight for that long. 1
Els Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 Right, and for the reasons I just explained. Ever considered that the reason might possibly lie with him?
GravityMan Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 Hornylildevil, I suggest you lose the anger, lose the frustration, and perhaps most importantly...lose your inflated sense of entitlement. That woman wasn't into you and decided to, in her own way, let you down easy with the hope that you'll get the hint. I don't see any lying or slutty behavior from her...you accusing her of those things just sounds like an irrational manifestation of your own butthurt-ness. Monogamous LTRs aren't things you can force and nobody is "required" to be in one. Being with the right person will likely organically evolve into a LTR over time. Most people are in long-term relationships because they found someone awhile back that they are attracted to & happy with...and vice versa...and thus they want to spend lots of time together, much of it intimate. Just forget about that woman and move on with your life. Now perhaps she could have been more direct, more honest to you that she was no longer interested. That's understandable, but consider this: perhaps with some previous guy she DID decide to be direct in telling him that it wasn't going to work...and he exploded at her. Freaking her out. Who knows? There's a good reason why many women prefer to "let guys down easy"...some are even taught that from the start by their parents, siblings or close female friends. Get used to it, OP. And when it happens again, just politely exit stage left and turn the page. I wonder how experienced you are with dating. Most men with decent experience would have picked up on that woman's hints very easily and quickly, and the confident guys would have politely ended it. 2
StanMusial Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 OP maybe you can clarify your frustrations some. I got the impression he was venting about people who claim to want an LTR, but really don't... maybe they even believe it a little bit when they say it, but deep down they don't. Maybe when Prince/Princess Charming comes along they believe it a little harder LOL. But old habits die hard and Prince/Princess Charming ain't no fool...
topaMAXX Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 ^^ I disagree. I think it depends on the OLD site and person. I've met some pretty good quality guys, one leading to a long term relationship years ago. Hell, I'm a catch and I'm on OLD. Just know that you're going to have a much bigger selection of people, it's a lot more fails and rejection than wins and relationships, but it does exactly as it should: connects people that wouldn't otherwise have met. Not the fault of OLD that there are a lot of frogs and not many princes! (Or whatever the female equivalent is...) You're also a woman, meaning that you have limitless possibilities for guys in OLD. Of course, there are some men that want something long term. And because of your gender, you have that option. OP is male so your advice doesn't pertain to his situation.
RedRobin Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 On average, I believe it is lots more common for a man to lie about wanting a LTR than a woman to lie about wanting a LTR... especially those doing OLD. There really is no reason whatsoever for a woman to lie about wanting a LTR online. She'll get a lot more men interested in her AND probably hotter ones at that, if she doesn't claim to have those goals. So, the OP's thoughts just don't seem to add up. He just sounds angry that things didn't work out.
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