starla33 Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 So I had a date and we had a really amazing connection. I have never slept with anyone on a first date before but it just happened. Obviously I'm feeling pretty terrible about it now since the guy was a bit cold this morning and didnt try to plan another date with me Is there no hope in this one? Did I ruin it?
quidproquo89 Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 I wouldn't sleep with someone on a first date if I was you, doesn't command respect. No offence, but you don't want to appear easy or get hurt. Make a guy work for it, he'll respect you more because you give him no choice but to. As for this guy, perhaps try contacting him again and say I had a great time would you like to do something next week. See what the response is. If you go out I wouldn't sleep with him, you can be affectionate, but makes sure your not being used or disrespected. Hope this helps 1
Author starla33 Posted March 23, 2014 Author Posted March 23, 2014 I wouldn't sleep with someone on a first date if I was you, doesn't command respect. No offence, but you don't want to appear easy or get hurt. Make a guy work for it, he'll respect you more because you give him no choice but to. As for this guy, perhaps try contacting him again and say I had a great time would you like to do something next week. See what the response is. If you go out I wouldn't sleep with him, you can be affectionate, but makes sure your not being used or disrespected. Hope this helps If you read my post I have never done this before. But our connection was different and it just felt right at that time. I can't explain it.
Conners Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 How was he cold? "I never slept with anyone on the first date before" haha I've read this over and over again on LS. It doesn't matter if you have or haven't. He doesn't know that. I'm sorry but if he was acting cold, you probably did ruin it. Some guys who don't even act cold still do a runner after giving the girl false hope. Also there is no CONNECTION. It's usually a one sided feeling women have so they think it's allright to put out early. Seriously it makes me cringe reading the word connection. 2
silvermercy Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 If you read my post I have never done this before. But our connection was different and it just felt right at that time. I can't explain it. Not saying that he is yet, but if players are good at one thing is at creating that exact "connection". 5
Author starla33 Posted March 23, 2014 Author Posted March 23, 2014 How was he cold? "I never slept with anyone on the first date before" haha I've read this over and over again on LS. It doesn't matter if you have or haven't. He doesn't know that. I'm sorry but if he was acting cold, you probably did ruin it. Some guys who don't even act cold still do a runner after giving the girl false hope. Also there is no CONNECTION. It's usually a one sided feeling women have so they think it's allright to put out early. Seriously it makes me cringe reading the word connection. I love how it is all MY fault and not the guys fault whatsoever. Seriously And yes he knows we talked about it among a lot of other things. Maybe he is a player and I got played because he said all the right things and before we had sex said we should do this and this next week. When I asked him about the "plans" in the morning he said oh yeah we could do that sometime and pretty much brushed it off.
mammasita Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 Whether the connection feels right or not, there's much to be said about making a man wait. The naysayers will come say that if he's a good man it won't matter when you give it up but I disagree. You have to wait....wait......wait.....and oh yeah, WAIT!! IMO, you shouldn't have even been in a position (no pun intended) to have sex on a first date. Should have been goodnight and been on your way. This situation makes me think he was just out for a lay. 3
Conners Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 I love how it is all MY fault and not the guys fault whatsoever. Seriously And yes he knows we talked about it among a lot of other things. Maybe he is a player and I got played because he said all the right things and before we had sex said we should do this and this next week. When I asked him about the "plans" in the morning he said oh yeah we could do that sometime and pretty much brushed it off. I'm sorry but it is your fault. You made a mistake by being too easy. I know it was the first time you did this but it's still a mistake. It's like telling him that you had never done drugs before yet you still did it on your first date because of your amazing connection. If he was the one to initiate sex after telling him that you got played.. he is a player. Otherwise he would of respected your feelings and waited. Also don't tell guys about your past relationships so early on.. it's a huge turn off! 4
topaMAXX Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 I love how it is all MY fault and not the guys fault whatsoever. Seriously And yes he knows we talked about it among a lot of other things. Maybe he is a player and I got played because he said all the right things and before we had sex said we should do this and this next week. When I asked him about the "plans" in the morning he said oh yeah we could do that sometime and pretty much brushed it off. It is your fault though. You shouldn't have slept with him. Maybe some guys will be okay with that, but many won't. Now you know. Don't do it again if you're looking for something long term. 2
Author starla33 Posted March 23, 2014 Author Posted March 23, 2014 I'm sorry but it is your fault. You made a mistake by being too easy. I know it was the first time you did this but it's still a mistake. It's like telling him that you had never done drugs before yet you still did it on your first date because of your amazing connection. If he was the one to initiate sex after telling him that you got played.. he is a player. Otherwise he would of respected your feelings and waited. Also don't tell guys about your past relationships so early on.. it's a huge turn off! What are you talkig about im saying he was the player
xxoo Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 I love how it is all MY fault and not the guys fault whatsoever. Seriously Forget fault. But until you build some trust, you can only count on yourself to protect your interests. He may still be interested. Some of my friends slept with their H on the first date. But given his behavior, he's probably not. Men do more clear thinking after sex than before. Before sex, they may be unreasonably optimistic about how they'll feel after sex. 7
somedude81 Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 (edited) The guys that give you the amazing connection on the first date are the ones to watch out for. How many times do you think he's heard, "I've never had sex on the first date before." It doesn't matter how amazing you think the connection is, don't have sex on the first date! Personally, I don't even try to go for a kiss on the first date. I can't even imagine trying to go for sex. Why rush things so much? Edited March 23, 2014 by somedude81 2
Treasa Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 This isn't an issue of fault. You both chose to have sex right away, but now you're upset about the result. He isn't. If you want to have sex right away, that's fine, but then your only expectation can be getting laid, which I assume you enjoyed, right? 13
GoreSP Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 So I had a date and we had a really amazing connection. I have never slept with anyone on a first date before but it just happened. Obviously I'm feeling pretty terrible about it now since the guy was a bit cold this morning and didnt try to plan another date with me Is there no hope in this one? Did I ruin it? Why would you feel terrible? I don't think you ruined anything. Maybe he feels just as ****ty as you and it's why he was a bit 'cold' I think if he is douchey enough to lose respect for you after sleeping with you on the first date, he is douchey enough to lose respect for you after sleeping with you after 10 dates. 5
GoreSP Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 I wouldn't sleep with someone on a first date if I was you, doesn't command respect. No offence, but you don't want to appear easy or get hurt. Make a guy work for it, he'll respect you more because you give him no choice but to. As for this guy, perhaps try contacting him again and say I had a great time would you like to do something next week. See what the response is. If you go out I wouldn't sleep with him, you can be affectionate, but makes sure your not being used or disrespected. Hope this helps A woman can make a man respect him in other ways. There is more to a woman than her sexuality. If a man (or anyone for that matter) will not respect me because they don't like my sex choices, I will not respect them. Respect goes both ways. I deserve it just as much as the next one. 5
GoreSP Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 I love how it is all MY fault and not the guys fault whatsoever. Seriously That, honey, is called slut shaming. Lots of it on here. He agreed to have sex with you too on the first date and so if it makes you a slut, so is he. However, personally, I think you did nothing wrong. Did you at least try to get a hold of him? 7
topaMAXX Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 That, honey, is called slut shaming. Lots of it on here. He agreed to have sex with you too on the first date and so if it makes you a slut, so is he. However, personally, I think you did nothing wrong. Did you at least try to get a hold of him? Unfortunately, there are rules in dating that generally need to be followed for successful courting. For women, this is one them. One of the common things that men believe (not misogynists, but normal guys) is that if a woman puts out too soon, she is likely doing it with other guys. Men don't have that stigma (we have other stigmas and dating roles to deal with). This is the nature of the dating world. I'm sorry that it bothers you. 1
GoreSP Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 Unfortunately, there are rules in dating that generally need to be followed for successful courting. For women, this is one them. One of the common things that men believe (not misogynists, but normal guys) is that if a woman puts out too soon, she is likely doing it with other guys. Men don't have that stigma (we have other stigmas and dating roles to deal with). This is the nature of the dating world. I'm sorry that it bothers you. It does't bother me in the sense that the men I date aren't judgmental douchebags. Ever notice how the people who follow those so called 'rules' are the ones who have the least success in dating? 5
somedude81 Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 It does't bother me in the sense that the men I date aren't judgmental douchebags. Ever notice how the people who follow those so called 'rules' are the ones who have the least success in dating? So you are saying that the people who fallow the rules of not having sex on the first date, are the ones who have the least success? 1
Conners Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 That, honey, is called slut shaming. Lots of it on here. He agreed to have sex with you too on the first date and so if it makes you a slut, so is he. However, personally, I think you did nothing wrong. Did you at least try to get a hold of him? WRONG WRONG WRONG. Girls can get sex very easily. Guys have to work for it. Therefore if a girl puts out on the first date - yes it is slutty. Ever heard of the lock and key theory? Girl = lock Guy = key If a key can unlock multiple locks. It's a pretty good key. If a lock can be unlocked by multiple keys. It's a pretty ****ty easy lock. Before you gender bash me - I am a girl and this is what I believe. 5
Conners Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 So you are saying that the people who fallow the rules of not having sex on the first date, are the ones who have the least success? Haha I agree with you. Looks like she didn't follow the general dating rule of not putting out on the first date & look what's happened. She's on LS with hundreds of other girls wondering why the guy lost interest after sleeping with him on the first date. Great success. 1
GoreSP Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 WRONG WRONG WRONG. Girls can get sex very easily. Guys have to work for it. Therefore if a girl puts out on the first date - yes it is slutty. Ever heard of the lock and key theory? Girl = lock Guy = key If a key can unlock multiple locks. It's a pretty good key. If a lock can be unlocked by multiple keys. It's a pretty ****ty easy lock. Before you gender bash me - I am a girl and this is what I believe. LOL It's easy for anyone to get sex. Having sex on the first date with one person doesn't mean it happens everytime and we have proof here with OP. Also, that lock/key analogy is from RofK…so please. 1
GoreSP Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 So you are saying that the people who fallow the rules of not having sex on the first date, are the ones who have the least success? I think the people who think there are any types of rules in human interaction have the least success in dating. And we get proof every day here on this forum.
Conners Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 LOL It's easy for anyone to get sex. Having sex on the first date with one person doesn't mean it happens everytime and we have proof here with OP. Also, that lock/key analogy is from RofK…so please. I heard that theory from some guy friends. No idea where it is from.. also I don't really care. And no it's not as easy for guys to get laid as girls. How is the OP proof of anything? The guy lost interest after he had sex with her on the first date. Girls don't need to put in any ground work. You are actually making no sense whatsoever in your posts. You basically said that girls who put out on the first date have more success in dating than girls who follow the general rule and don't.
Recommended Posts