Jump to content

Can going slow be good?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

So I know a guy pretty well, we work for different companies in the same building. We first kissed about a month ago, and at first he was very full on, which scared me, we'd speak every night via text, and he stayed at my flat twice in the first week. It was lovely, but I got terrified that I was all of a sudden in a relationship with someone I didn't know!

 

A few days later, we spoke briefly and I told him I was a little bit scared by the speed things had gone, and he agreed. (We've both been single for around two years, and neither of us sleep around etc).

 

I speak to him, even if just in our companies' entrance hallway most days, but our dates have slowed down to around once a week, sometimes with sex, sometimes without.

 

I'm not doubting that he likes me at all, whenever we see each other he speaks about having spoken to his friends about me, or brings me some sweets, or talks about 'when he's going to cook me dinner', but he never seems keen to actually make the plans himself and set a date to do these things, we seem to only do things when I say, 'so, are you free on Friday?'. He seems to be happy to spend time on his own, where as I'd be more keen to catch up with him if I was free.

 

I'm really enjoying the situation we're in, there's no pressure and I'm enjoying his company, but I do think, if it was down to me, we'd be seeing each other a little bit more, maybe around twice a week.

 

When we initially discussed how full on it was, he said something along the lines of 'i really like you, don't take any freak outs on my parts personally, all of this is just very unexpected'

 

I don't want to fall in to the situation where I let my self go more than he does, and I feel needy towards him.

 

What's the best way to play the situation? Should I back off a little (not that I'm pushing things now) and keep myself busy, let him come to me? Or does that disregard what I want?

 

Any advice gratefully received. Thanks.

Posted

How can you back off anymore?

I thought you wanted to see more of him?

 

Seems like he's a cool guy, and any other girl would be lucky to have him in her life. Think about that

Posted

Why not let him in on how your expectations? Tell him you would like to see him 2 times a week....sounds to me since you backed off a bit, he is leaving the ball in your court to decide how this is going to play out.

  • Like 1
Posted

Communication! Talk to him about it. At first you thought it was a bit much, now more time has elapsed and you're feeling more comfortable increasing the frequency of dates, so tell him!

Posted

You already seen him naked. Go get him, Tiger. If all else fails, post it here on LS.

 

P.S. I'm single...Hi!

×
×
  • Create New...