Grinning Maniac Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 I got dumped a week ago and I decided to write about it here today just to get a few things off my chest, since Thursday's the night of the week we always got together and her not being here really hits home for me... This is my second actual break-up, and she's the fifth girl I've dated, just for info's sake. First, backstory: I'm 20 and she's 19. We met each other 4 months ago at a lecture. She introduced herself as she was walking over my feet trying to get to her seat down the aisle. After the lecture we started talking to each other and went to this little reception for the guest speaker at this art gallery. We talked for a really long time and then decided tried to find something to eat. Nothing around, so I invited her back to my dorm room for some leftover chinese lol. She hung out w/ me until about midnight then she gave me her number and went home. We went out on an actual date the following night. Yadayadayada About a month later we started going "steady". She was the first girl I'd ever slept with. I was the first guy she'd ever...well..done anything with heh. I was kind of flattered by that. Getting with a virgin was on my little mental "sexual checklist". So...bonus. Our relationship got physical really quickly, actually. Neither of us regretted it. Meh...I don't know how to do summaries for something so long. But yeah...it was a good time. I'm glad I met her. *shrug* So, we went out for 4 months in total. After coming back for Christmas Break, she expressed some doubts that things were working out and was thinking about ending it. We talked and from what she was saying it, seemed like the problem was she just felt we got together too quickly and she didnt know me well enough. I agreed with that, so I suggested we give things a little time and try to get to know each other better. She agreed. After learning some things about each other, things seemed to get better than ever between her and I. At least I thought that was the case from her actions. We talked a lot more, she was always asking to see me, real affectionate around me, etc. Then about 2-3 weeks after that first "talk", I decided to casually ask if things were ok between us now. They weren't. It came out slowly, but it turned out by the end of the night, she still wanted to break up. I was pretty shocked but I handled it well. I wasn't terribly broken up by it. Maybe I'm just getting better with break-ups. The reason why she ended it was because she felt her "romantic feelings" for me had faded over the course of the relationship. I didn't appreciate being led on, in my opinion, for those 2-3 weeks, but I got over it. So now she's said she really doesn't want me out of her life completely, but honestly, I don't know how well the "friends" thing will work out. I haven't had a positive experience with it in the past. I still grudgingly agreed to it though, since I have no real reason to be *angry* with her and I'm not insanely depressed about the break up. I wish things had lasted a little longer, and I really do miss her...but I'm not wanting to shoot myself. I suppose it is possible to be her friend, but knowing that eventually she'll be with someone else is hard to deal with... I keep wondering if it's possible to get her back, then I wonder if that would even make sense. I don't want to be the creepy scheming ex-boyfriend. I hear too many stories about that here. So that's my break-up story. I'll write more later if I think of anything or if anyone asks a question. Later.
kellydontwanttasleep Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 if you don't want to be the creepy scheming ex-boyfriend then don't be
Spira Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 Whether you want to remain friends with her or not is entirely up to you. You have no obligation to do so. It all depends on whether you think she's a nice enough girl or not, I guess. But if you think it will work out OK, don't knock it just because you had bad experiences. While you *should* learn from your experiences, you shouldn't let them hold you back from something possibly good. If you're concerned about seeing her with another guy, remember that you'll have another girl one day too. And the feeling that you have about that will probably fade easily anyway, since you guys broke it off before the relationship got very intense or serious.
chica Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 It's tough losing someone when you've been putting extra in and want to give it a good shot. I sympathise GM It doesn't sound as though the "friendship" idea is plausible at the moment, maybe down the track. But while you still miss her on the level that you do, and she seems quite disconnected from you and your feelings, I think it would be too difficult. Treat yourself a bit, indulge in the things that make you happy and remind yourself who you are and that you're a good person despite this particular relationship not going the way you would have liked. Sending good vibes
fickey21 Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 You need to think if you truely like this girl or not. Can you see yourself with her in the future? If you cant then i suggest that you shouldnt try to push anything further. If you do then maybe you should try to get back with her. Just dont push anything too fast and try to get to know her better. My best relationships started from being long time friends. You should just be good friends with her and see what happens from there.
Author Grinning Maniac Posted January 30, 2005 Author Posted January 30, 2005 Update: While I agreed in the beginning to stay friends with her, I've had too a hard time with it. So, I've basically been practicing NC. I haven't seen her for two weeks now and I haven't really IMed her at all either. The thing that hurts, is that things are pretty much the same on her end. I suppose I was expecting it, but it still hurts. I really miss her a lot. I go up and down with this whole thing. If I really try, I can put her out of my mind and be happy, and even reminesce about the relationship in a fond way, without pain. But there are other times where out of the blue, I feel so depressed and wish the whole thing had never happened. I remember little things like the smell of her hair or the way her hands felt, and it makes me want to throw up or cry or hurt someone. The screwed up part is that near the tail end of the relationship, I was trying to figure out whether or not I loved her...and now I realize that I do. But it doesn't matter at all at this point. She obviously didnt feel the same way anyhow. Fickey: To answer your question, yes I do legitimately have feelings for her. I could see myself with her in the future. The problem lies in whether or not she could. Do I really want to wait around for years, holding a torch for someone, in hopes that something will spark up? That seems like a hell of an existance. I'm really tired of feeling like this. I'm really tired of dealing with women. I'm tired of getting to know someone and opening my heart to them, and when I'm on my way up, they're on their way down. I'm sick of it. This relationship was far better than the others I've had, but it ended just as quickly. What the hell is with that?
clynn Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 "Yup. I really agree. What the HELL is up with THAT? ? ? ? ? ?
Author Grinning Maniac Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 I passed by her in the hall today. I gave a weak wave and she gave a short "hello" and walked straight past me. It was like talking to a stranger...
................... Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Women are fickle, move on. Plenty more out there.
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