waiting4u Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I really really like this guy, but he appears to be giving me the runaround. Now he's texting me AGAIN and I'm wondering if I should just ignore it and walk away with my dignity intact. Here's basic timeline: -2 1/2 weeks ago we went out, had a great time, did some kissing. -I went out of town, we texted back and forth a bit, he said "looking forward to seeing you when you get back in town." -last week I get back, see him at the gym, he says "let's hang out this week" and I said "yeah, absolutely." -I don't hear from him ALL WEEK except random "how are you" et cetera and "Let's hang out soon" DOESN'T ASK ME OUT -Thurs. night I had a bit too much wine after dinner with friends and texted him around midnight "You know, I'd like to see you again." -Friday morning he texts "Yeah, are you free this weekend?" I said yes, maybe Saturday, and he texts back "Okay, have a great day!" DOESN'T ASK ME OUT so I text back "You too, guy-who-randomly-texts-me-and-never-asks-me-out" -I WROTE HIM OFF, considered deleting him from my phone and Facebook, highly irritated. -Now it's 4pm on Saturday night and he's texting "hello" WTF? I am not going through another text convo in which he doesn't ask me out. And I have plans tonight with friends anyway. Should I just ignore? Will ignoring possibly increase his interest in me?? How do you turn a guy who seems like a player into a man who behaves properly in a dating scenario?? SO FRUSTRATED
Gaeta Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 How do you turn a guy who seems like a player into a man who behaves properly in a dating scenario?? Oh you didn't get the memo? You cannot change a man. 4
Author waiting4u Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Maybe he's just stupid? Maybe he thinks we made plans yesterday and he can just confirm them at 4pm?
894hjk Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 U text him at midnight! Yikes! That basically says- I'm drunk n thinking about having sex with u and no one else. Then u actually say u wanna c him. Chase over for the dude, who seems to like chasing. Now he can pick n choose the time on when to c u cos he thinks ur waiting around for him. Some blokes put out a " hey.." Kinda text as they r scared of rejection- the players usually are believe it or not. U need to keep it cool now, it's early days. Text him back the day after saying u were out. Be vague. Wait for him to ask u out again and if he doesn't forget him
894hjk Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 If u haven't got a venue and a time then u haven't got a date. End of. 2
TXGuy Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I don't see this guy as a player at all. It seems more likely that he is a guy that hasn't figured out how women want the man to explicitly ask her out. I'm not suggesting you give him additional chances, I just don't think he is a player at all. A player would have had sex with you by now, or at least tried to.
GemmaUK Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I don't understand why he is a player? It's just miss communication from the sound of it on both sides. Him texting hello doesn't mean he thinks you have a date tonight. It could just be a 'hello'.
Gaeta Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 -2 1/2 weeks ago we went out, had a great time, did some kissing. So looks like 2 and a half weeks ago he knew how to properly ask you on a date, right?
Phoe Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I'd give up on this one and end communication with him
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I really really like this guy, but he appears to be giving me the runaround. RED FLAG! If it doesn't feel right it's not. He isn't inadequate with how to date women, he is juggling women. If he says he'll set up a date and doesn't it's because he got a better offer somewhere else. He is keeping his options open. Delete and block his number and be done with it. 2
Author waiting4u Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 I don't understand why he is a player? It's just miss communication from the sound of it on both sides. Him texting hello doesn't mean he thinks you have a date tonight. It could just be a 'hello'. I have a "player" acquaintance who is constantly texting me and 5 other women. We all know each other and laugh about it. He does it so he can have his ego stroked and be aware that he has options. He's slept with about 3 of the 5 girls he texts - they found out too late. I just figured the randomness was the equivalent of that - checking in to see if I'm still interested. So what's your advice? Do I give him a crash course on dating?
Author waiting4u Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 So looks like 2 and a half weeks ago he knew how to properly ask you on a date, right? No, I think if I recall, I suggested we have a drink.
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 tbh I don't think you need our advice you already know. I understand how feelings can get in the way of our better judgement, and makes us ignore the warning signs. Basically you by this...are they treating you the way you want to be treated...apparently not eh?
Gaeta Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 You already verbalized to him your dissatisfaction by calling him *guy-who-randomly-texts-me-and-never-asks-me-out* If he doesn't get a clue with this it's because is IQ is below average. I mean! Do you really want to date a guy that is clueless? and have to constantly hold his hand. 1
OhThatGirl Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 You want to be asked out. You've given him a few green lights and days he could request a date, he isn't doing it. Sounds like he is either multi dating and has priorities elsewhere but is keeping you on the back burner or using you as an ego boost to know he's got someone lined up. I wouldn't respond to a hello. If he's interested, he will text more, call, do anything to incite more conversation or response out of you. If not you've just saved some wasted time responding to a very bland "hello." Win win. I'd say move on. If this guy gets his act together and wants to ask you out, making REAL request for your company at a certain time/date/place, MAYBE consider it. Until then, figure he's a no-go. If he pulls a "we should get together" line again without trying to nail down a date, I'd respond back with a "yeah, I'm familiar with you saying this is something we should do, but without firm plans I'm going to assume it isn't happening." I'm kind of abrasive though. 2
GemmaUK Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 OK so looking at responses since and that he didn't ask you out initially.. What do you want in a man? You have so far asked him out. Texted him when inebriated late at night. He probably isn't thinking you are serious relationship material. I'm guessing you are not looking for serious anything?
Author waiting4u Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 OK so looking at responses since and that he didn't ask you out initially.. What do you want in a man? You have so far asked him out. Texted him when inebriated late at night. He probably isn't thinking you are serious relationship material. I'm guessing you are not looking for serious anything? I do want a relationship - but in the sense that both people have independent lives. I don't think I communicated to him that I was looking for sex. I told him I thought casual sex was stupid in the course of our conversation when we were together. I also told him I wouldn't live with a man, at least until my teenager goes to Uni. This was while he was talking about the 3 long-term relationships he's had in his entire life (he's 33). I think he hangs out with men a lot - he's very macho and into boxing and such - not sure what that means. And he doesn't really drink, so it never occurred to me initially that he was a player-type. Yeah, the drunk text was stupid.
GemmaUK Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I do want a relationship - but in the sense that both people have independent lives. I don't think I communicated to him that I was looking for sex. I told him I thought casual sex was stupid in the course of our conversation when we were together. I also told him I wouldn't live with a man, at least until my teenager goes to Uni. This was while he was talking about the 3 long-term relationships he's had in his entire life (he's 33). I think he hangs out with men a lot - he's very macho and into boxing and such - not sure what that means. And he doesn't really drink, so it never occurred to me initially that he was a player-type. Yeah, the drunk text was stupid. Actions speak louder than words though so late texts can look like a booty call. Keep your phone in your bag..and switch it off if tempted. What is up with 3 long term relationships by the age of 33? Sounds pretty reasonable to me.
pickflicker Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I don't know if he's a player, he just sounds a bit dense. Just ignore him when he texts you again.
Imajerk17 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 (edited) I think the title of your thread isn't really appropriate to the situation. See the bolded below for what I mean.... I really really like this guy, but he appears to be giving me the runaround. Now he's texting me AGAIN and I'm wondering if I should just ignore it and walk away with my dignity intact. Here's basic timeline: -2 1/2 weeks ago we went out, had a great time, did some kissing. -I went out of town, we texted back and forth a bit, he said "looking forward to seeing you when you get back in town." -last week I get back, see him at the gym, 1. he says "let's hang out this week" and I said "yeah, absolutely." -I don't hear from him ALL WEEK except random "how are you" et cetera and "Let's hang out soon" DOESN'T ASK ME OUT -Thurs. night I had a bit too much wine after dinner with friends 2. and texted him around midnight "You know, I'd like to see you again." -Friday morning he texts "Yeah, are you free this weekend?" I said yes, maybe Saturday, and he texts back "Okay, have a great day!" 3. DOESN'T ASK ME OUT so I text back "You too, guy-who-randomly-texts-me-and-never-asks-me-out" -I WROTE HIM OFF, considered deleting him from my phone and Facebook, highly irritated. -Now it's 4pm on Saturday night and he's texting "hello" WTF? I am not going through another text convo in which he doesn't ask me out. And I have plans tonight with friends anyway. Should I just ignore? Will ignoring possibly increase his interest in me?? How do you turn a guy who seems like a player into a man who behaves properly in a dating scenario?? SO FRUSTRATED See, the question isn't really whether you want to "give him a chance", as you asked. I counted 3 chances right there in your OP (what I bolded and numbered). It just doesn't sound to me that he is that into you, player or not. Sorry. Edited March 22, 2014 by Imajerk17 1
Author waiting4u Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 I think the title of your thread isn't really appropriate to the situation. See the bolded below for what I mean.... See, the question isn't really whether you want to "give him a chance", as you asked. I counted 3 chances right there in your OP (what I bolded and numbered). It just doesn't sound to me that he is that into you, player or not. Sorry. Yep, three chances is plenty.
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