LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Online dating is just frustrating.sometimes. This guy practically begged me to chat with him,.but I did think he is interesting so we chatted. Then I suggested we exchange numbers and he agreed. So I gave him the digits, but he didn't give me his. It got late and I got tired so I finally just said good night and text me anytime. He said "I will soon!". That was about 9 last night and still no text or phone number. I am just a little annoyed. The agreement was to exchange numbers. And for someone who seemed like he could hardly wait to chat with me, somethin about this.is shady. I am not ticked off or anything to that extreme I just get so aggravated at all the games people play. I don't have time for this junk. What the heck?
quidproquo89 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Online dating is just frustrating.sometimes. This guy practically begged me to chat with him,.but I did think he is interesting so we chatted. Then I suggested we exchange numbers and he agreed. So I gave him the digits, but he didn't give me his. It got late and I got tired so I finally just said good night and text me anytime. He said "I will soon!". That was about 9 last night and still no text or phone number. I am just a little annoyed. The agreement was to exchange numbers. And for someone who seemed like he could hardly wait to chat with me, somethin about this.is shady. I am not ticked off or anything to that extreme I just get so aggravated at all the games people play. I don't have time for this junk. What the heck? it is still early, it was only last night so he may still give you his number. However it is odd he didn't give you his number at the time. Besides, you don't really know him so its not a big deal right?
Author LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 it is still early, it was only last night so he may still give you his number. However it is odd he didn't give you his number at the time. Besides, you don't really know him so its not a big deal right? No it doesn't exactly bother me because of WHO it is, but because of the scenario in general. This is why I'm single, because people play ignorant games like this and I have very low tolerance for it. But your right its early..good.chance I will.hear from him eventually...but if this is how he likes to play the game I won't last long...lol. We are adults in our 30's for gosh sakes, this is.high school b.s., no need to play it cool or play hard to get or whatever, get the show on the road
quidproquo89 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I know how you feel, I've had problems with people messing me about also. As I say its still early see what happens over the next few days
Author LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 The thing is, its harder to be excused nowdays. It takes 2 seconds to text a person and say "here is my number". So he had time to message me on the site but not time to text that? It doesn't jive. The guy isn't scoring any points right now and has instantly made scoring any harder for himself already... Oh well. :/
beach Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Online dating is just frustrating.sometimes. This guy practically begged me to chat with him,.but I did think he is interesting so we chatted. Then I suggested we exchange numbers and he agreed. So I gave him the digits, but he didn't give me his. It got late and I got tired so I finally just said good night and text me anytime. He said "I will soon!". That was about 9 last night and still no text or phone number. I am just a little annoyed. The agreement was to exchange numbers. And for someone who seemed like he could hardly wait to chat with me, somethin about this.is shady. I am not ticked off or anything to that extreme I just get so aggravated at all the games people play. I don't have time for this junk. What the heck? Once he texts = you have his number. Maybe he doesn't want that yet. It could be he's married.
Gaeta Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I never give my number first, if a man wants to talk to me he gives me his number and I call him, I will even block my number while calling him if I don't feel 100% comfortable giving my number. If you don't want games to be played then don't give them material to proceed with games. A man that is genuinely interested will be pleased to forward his number first. So no more typing your number first thinking his will be forwarded after.
Author LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Well now I won't be able to resist playing back a little bit..so when he does text me it just might take a few hours to answer... haha
Gaeta Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Well now I won't be able to resist playing back a little bit..so when he does text me it just might take a few hours to answer... haha Or you answer : who's this? Mark? John? Eric? no, this is Tim!! Steven is that you? Ok now Shawn stop playing around! 1
Author LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Or you answer : who's this? Mark? John? Eric? no, this is Tim!! Steven is that you? Ok now Shawn stop playing around! I like it. See guys, if you play games like this it is just a huge invitation for her to play right back. Completely high school and non productive. But if that's what you start then it shall continue.
Survivor12 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Well now I won't be able to resist playing back a little bit..so when he does text me it just might take a few hours to answer... haha Thought you said you didn't "have time for this junk".
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 You are calling it games because the guy didn't call you the next day?? Talk about high expectations. As a rule guys will wait a day or two so as to not look desparate. If you don't hear from him with in the next day or two, then he's not that interested. Oh well just move on, no big deal. 1
Author LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Thought you said you didn't "have time for this junk". That's right I don't, so he will be lucky if I bother to talk to him at all now.
Author LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 You are calling it games because the guy didn't call you the next day?? Talk about high expectations. As a rule guys will wait a day or two so as to not look desparate. If you don't hear from him with in the next day or two, then he's not that interested. Oh well just move on, no big deal. That is all.fine and dandy but we agreed to "exchange numbers" and he didn't hold up his end of that deal. That suggests an immediate agreement, not one that.should take ya 2 days to follow through on. If you meet someone at a bar and say "let's exchange.numbers" it all happens right then, correct? So I expect it to happen the same way, here. This feels like I met the guy, gave him my number only for him to say."okay I will give you mine later", and then leave the bar. Shady.
GemmaUK Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 You are calling it games because the guy didn't call you the next day?? Talk about high expectations. As a rule guys will wait a day or two so as to not look desparate. If you don't hear from him with in the next day or two, then he's not that interested. Oh well just move on, no big deal. That's what I was thinking. I don't understand why it's a big deal.
Fondue Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Since when is not giving you a call immediately considered a game? That's very premature. And from the sounds of it, it looks like you're already planning on playing games with him. He gave you no indication of anything that sounds out of the ordinary or did any strange behavior, yet you're already offended. Calm down/relax, ma'am. You're too high strung. No one is playing any games with you right now. 1
Fondue Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 That is all.fine and dandy but we agreed to "exchange numbers" and he didn't hold up his end of that deal. That suggests an immediate agreement, not one that.should take ya 2 days to follow through on. If you meet someone at a bar and say "let's exchange.numbers" it all happens right then, correct? So I expect it to happen the same way, here. This feels like I met the guy, gave him my number only for him to say."okay I will give you mine later", and then leave the bar. Shady. I don't think you understand what "exchanging numbers" means. It's simply, "here's my number, call me if you'd like." Or, "may I have your number so we can continue this at a later time?" That's how it is done at a bar and online. He took your number so he can contact you soon. He wouldn't take it just to take it. That's dumb. WHat purpose does it serve for him to contact you ONLINE and then ask for your #, and not call it? That's just a bunch of wasted effort. His plan is to send you a text or call you soon. It will likely be sometime tomorrow, toward the end of the weekend.
Author LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 That's what I was thinking. I don't understand why it's a big deal. It's a "big.deal" because 1 second he can't wait to talk to me and the next second I'm made to feel like a last priority. People need to be more consistent or it's just confusing for the other one, emotionally I can't handle that. I just expect a person to do what they say they will do which this guy hasn't. So trust is already an issue. Not likely that I will talk to him anymore. I don't do well waiting around for convenience of others'
GemmaUK Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 It's a "big.deal" because 1 second he can't wait to talk to me and the next second I'm made to feel like a last priority. People need to be more consistent or it's just confusing for the other one, emotionally I can't handle that. I just expect a person to do what they say they will do which this guy hasn't. So trust is already an issue. Not likely that I will talk to him anymore. I don't do well waiting around for convenience of others' Wow! If that is how you feel then send him a mail and tell him you don't wanna hear from him and that it's best to delete your number. Stop it before it escalates to any more bad feeling. It's not worth the wasted energy
Author LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Wow! If that is how you feel then send him a mail and tell him you don't wanna hear from him and that it's best to delete your number. Stop it before it escalates to any more bad feeling. It's not worth the wasted energy[/QUO I have considered this. If he was as interested as he claimed I think I would have heard from him by now. I can't handle having someone who puts a dent in my self esteem. I have an Ex who did this on a regular basis.and it tore me down completely so if I'm made to feel like a back burner girl I just can't deal with it
Fondue Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I have considered this. If he was as interested as he claimed I think I would have heard from him by now. I can't handle having someone who puts a dent in my self esteem. I have an Ex who did this on a regular basis.and it tore me down completely so if I'm made to feel like a back burner girl I just can't deal with it It seems like this impatience and high expectations stem from your lack of self esteem. This poorly affects your dating life. You should clean up your issues and learn to accept yourself and improve your self worth before seeing other people. Any potential dating partners are already put in poor standing with you automatically due to them not matching your standards of what you would consider interest. THeir interest is directly correlated with how you feel about yourself. And if they don't seem super interested in you, your ego is damaged. This is not how things should be. You're setting yourself (and any man that approaches you) up for failure. Just an FYI: This man might totally be into you, but he might is not outwardly expressing it like you want him to. This makes you feel bad and you're already hating on him. There can be a million reasons why he hasn't called you yet, but you seem bent on the fact that he simply isn't interested. 1
Author LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 It seems like this impatience and high expectations stem from your lack of self esteem. This poorly affects your dating life. You should clean up your issues and learn to accept yourself and improve your self worth before seeing other people. Any potential dating partners are already put in poor standing with you automatically due to them not matching your standards of what you would consider interest. THeir interest is directly correlated with how you feel about yourself. And if they don't seem super interested in you, your ego is damaged. This is not how things should be. You're setting yourself (and any man that approaches you) up for failure. Just an FYI: This man might totally be into you, but he might is not outwardly expressing it like you want him to. This makes you feel bad and you're already hating on him. There can be a million reasons why he hasn't called you yet, but you seem bent on the fact that he simply isn't interested.[/QUO This is true. Because all my life when I have questioned things a guy does,.the answer has been "He isn't that into you then. Screw him and move on". That seem to be the most popular opinion so now I am.convinced.that no one really likes me unless they are more proactive. Or if they slack off, same impression. I am always.given that common advice.that the guy doesn't like me enough and.I should move on. So yeah, thanks to that I have little self esteem. It is just people trying to help me out but in the end it just makes me feel like I am no good.
GemmaUK Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Wow! If that is how you feel then send him a mail and tell him you don't wanna hear from him and that it's best to delete your number. Stop it before it escalates to any more bad feeling. It's not worth the wasted energy[/QUO I have considered this. If he was as interested as he claimed I think I would have heard from him by now. I can't handle having someone who puts a dent in my self esteem. I have an Ex who did this on a regular basis.and it tore me down completely so if I'm made to feel like a back burner girl I just can't deal with it Then whoa! Give yourself a break, time to heal. I was with a controller and I had no idea what was gong on until I did a lot of reading up about dangerous and abusive men. Sounds to me like you were verbally abused and probably emotionally abused in the past. Go look it up, do some reading on it. You are not to blame. But learning about it will only make you stronger. It did me! I've only just got out of the other side of my learning curve about a month ago, the relationship ended last April. One great book I read was this: How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved by Sandra L Brown.
Author LilySun Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Yes I was verbally abused...badly...but I stuck it out for a long time and still beat myself up for putting up with it.for as long as I did. I still think I deserved it, even, sometimes. He just had that way of making me think so.
GemmaUK Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 What kind of things happened Lilysun? Why do you think you were to blame for some things? Verbal abuse isn't part of a normal and healthy relationship. The person dishing it out is the problem and usually it stems from their own insecurity.
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