birdie22 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Hi. Here is the story. I was on an online dating site for about a week. A guy messaged me who fit my type physical type perfectly, and talked about his family and kids in his profile. (ie, he didn't seem like a creep with naked pics and talking about himself alot) anyways, he messaged me first and we began talking. When we were about to exchange numbers, he told me that he was in Afghanistan (he's in military) and he hoped that wouldn't deter me. I said, what the heck and gave him my #. Since then (about a month ago) we have texted almost every day. Lots of little questions and flirting. We've also been able to Skype about four or five times. The chemistry seems to be there. He is supposed to be back to our area in May so it isn't that long of a wait to actually meet each other. Anyways, so I thought about it and it seemed like I usually texted first, so I politely told him it would be nice to have him text first sometimes. He actually did it, which was great. We have a nice convo back and forth for about two hours and then poof---nothing. That was the day before yesterday, and he hasn't texted anything back yet. Now I know that most people will say that a day doesn't matter. And I know that in the long run it doesn't. I think it's just the change in pattern that is throwing me off. I realize that he is in the military and things change at the drop of a hat. It's just been so predictable for the last month... I am obviously not going to text him again unless he texts me back, I just wanted to get others' thoughts on the matter. Do you think he lost interest? Should I just chalk it up to him being randomly busy? Let it go? Thanks!!
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 This is why he made sure you knew he is on tour with the military so there wouldn't be any surprises if you don't hear from him. You should be asking yourself, do you really want to be involved with someone in the military? because this is one of the things you will have to deal with, them being absent from your life from time to time, and not seeing them for a stretch of 6 months.
Author birdie22 Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Fair question. At this point I just want to get to know him. It is just that it was such regular communication that a sudden non-communication seems strange. But I get your point. At most it would be a little over a month this time (as he is to get off deployment in May), so I will just see what happens. If we meet and decide we want to pursue something serious, then yes, I will need to address the question of whether military life is something I'd like to deal with...but for now...we would need to make it to meeting each other.
Gaeta Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I want to warn you that there is a scam on line. Men impersonating being a military abroad. They chat you up for a while, you talk about where you live, your life style, ect. Then they tell you they're preparing to come back but they have some type of situation back home and they would like to use your address to ship their first personal items. Please do not fall for this scam. Do not give your address, any personal information, do not send money. These scammers chose to impersonate militaries because they know most women will trust them without asking questions. I was married to an army man for 15 years. He went to middle east as well. Back in the days we did not have Internet, cellular, and that stuff. I don't understand that a man in Afghanistan has time, or the desire to have an online profile. It's just beyond my comprehension. Also, the Internet and the phone lines are not what they are here. It's on and off constantly, there is no texting or using Internet on regular basis without it being interrupted several times. 2
OhThatGirl Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I'm with Gaeta on this one. Were these SMS texts? Or via an app that can be used on WiFi? Because I have a hard time believing someone on tour on Afghanistan is having 2 hour long text conversations via SMS messaging. On a US number? Even less likely. Cell coverage is spotty at best and the rates this guy would be paying would be astronomical. Was he in communication during normal waking hours for you? Like was he up having a 2 hour long text convo daily at what would have been 2-4 am in Afghanistan? Any mention on his part about the time difference? That's something else to consider. I am a huge proponent of Google/Facebook searching men to see if there is any indication outside of my experience with him that he is a legit person, that he is who he says he is. If you know even a few things about him it's pretty easy. I'd give it a try. Meanwhile consider alternative theories. He's married and looking for an online affair but can't devote/risk time with someone in person. It's a scam. Etc Not saying any of these are the case, just that I would be hesitant to put much into a guy that is browsing singles online while on tour half a world away. 2
Author birdie22 Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 I read about the scam thing too. I don't believe this is the case for several reasons, but mostly because everything has matched up. In fact, the first thing he did was add me on Facebook where I could see not only his name, but all his pictures. There are a mixture (not just like one of him in a uniform or something). He has some with his kids, some not, some from former tours, etc. His information all matches up. Also, I've Googled him and it lists him in the city he said he lives in, same age, etc. When we've Skyped it's been on his days of or as he gets ready to sleep and I'm leaving for work. He works the night shift there, so we do have a considerable amount of time that we are both awake. As for internet and phone connection...we don't sit there for two hours every second, but send responses like every 20 minutes or so for about two hours. He refuels helicopters so it seems like he has alot of downtime until around 7am there, and then it pics up. PHone number...I don't know. He bought it specifically for when he went on deployment to talk to his family too... Thank you for your replies though! If anything felt fishy, I would be able to investigate it more now! and if he ever asked for $....lol i would be gone!
Author birdie22 Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 Oh, and as for married looking for a fling...I don't think so. He is divorced and again, judging from Facebook I can see his ex-wife is not in his life. All recent pics are strictly with his kids, parents, and sister. Now...he could be chatting with other people, but that's not my business yet. I have gone on other dates since we started talking b/c we haven't even met yet...but he's def. the one I've had the most interest in.
OhThatGirl Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Ahhhh. The details sound reassuring. Maybe he's just wanting a lady to miss him while he's away.. Knowing more I wouldn't put too much weight into this whole not hearing from him for a day thing. But do keep us updated!
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