Since when did so many labels on dating starting spreading?

[dragon_fly_7]

It seems that nowadays in the dating world, there are so many labels that it might be complicated to be just you, slighter harder for the guy.

 

Among the countless labels I've read on various sites over the years: alpha, beta, beta provider, PUA (pick-up artist, which some guy want to desperately imitate), nice guy vs jerk, etc.

 

Can it just be simple and to the point, where no one has to worry about trying to fit into a label? I was born in 1987 and it seems that this trend started showing up by 2005, towards the year I graduated so it must not have been so long ago. Why isn't it simplier like it was during my parents' time? I think the more labels, the more complicated it gets to even describe yourself or even form a meaningful relationship.

Edited March 22, 2014 by dragon_fly_7

[topaMAXX]

I was born in the same year as you.

 

During our parents' time, there were more clearly defined gender roles. Also, men held more prominence and respect in society.

 

Basically, it was easier for men to follow a certain template when dating. Now, it's just one big clusterf*ck. Dating and getting laid is a skill for men (far more than it is for women), whereas, in the past, a man was simply able to be himself and get a girl.

 

So men, the more rational and analytical of sexes, look for answers and this is what we come up with.

[ThatMan]

When did you last hear these phrases? When you were in highschool? I bet every other instance strictly involved the internet, right? Think carefully about this.

 

Most people leave these notions at the door when they walk out of highschool to become independent adults. Anyone who describes themselves as a PUA, or reveres PUAs, usually have a few missing cards from the deck. PUA can involve everything from hypnosis, evolution psychology, to coercion through driving potential dates in an effort to control their way home so that they cannot refuse sexual advances. When most people hear about PUA they immediately think of the lowest sleazeball in any club.

 

I also guarantee that you won't find too many people interested in debating this whole 'nice guys versus jerks' outside of the internet. People actually have lives, move on to do something with themselves, and enter a relationship despite highschool nuances.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I'm of a generation where men and women met organically and we used words to convey our thoughts and feelings. I got married when I was 24 and divorced when I was 40 and jumping back into the dating pool at that age was nothing short of shocking. Then throw in the whole online dating genre and WOW! To say that I miss the "good old days" and how men and women met and communicated would be an understatement. It wasn't without it's bad apples of course but it was a much simpler time and way.

 

I think these labels you're speaking about really have been fueled by the advent of the world wide web and technology and how "wired" we all seem to be anymore. Information is instantaneous and at our fingertips and moving so rapidly that it's hard to keep up for the best of us never mind those of us born pre GEN-X.

 

Unfortunately, there isn't much you or I can do to change the shift that seems to have occurred. I certainly don't have any brilliant answers except to say that YOU are in charge of your life and who you date and spend time with. If you want things to be simpler, then embrace it and seek out women who echo your own values. Stay discerning and steadfast in your resolve and f**k whatever agenda society seems to be pushing. You don't have to subscribe to any of it.

 

I know for a fact that there are plenty of women out there that feel the same way and looking for someone with the same old-school values as you

 

Good luck!

Edited March 22, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle