Gaeta Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 ....and doesn't want my help. My new boyfriend of a few weeks hurt himself at work yesterday, he cut 2 fingers with an electrical saw. He called me at 18h yesterday to tell me he was at the hospital. Of course I was worried!! I wanted to know how bad it was, was he in a lot of pain and what had happened. I asked him what hospital he was and that I was gonna go and be with him. He thanked me and said there was no need, he would be ok. After the hospital he went home and contacted me. Told me he needs to show up at a different clinic this morning. Once again I offered to accompany him. I speak the local language , he doesn't. Again he told me he would be fine, he speaks enough of the local language to get by. Is it a male ego thing?
devilish innocent Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Is it a male ego thing? That's what this sounds like to me.
Author Gaeta Posted March 22, 2014 Author Posted March 22, 2014 So there is no point of me insisting? He is at that other clinic now, I am waiting to hear from him. I was going to offer him I go visit him later to check up on him, good or bad idea? considering he's refused twice my company.
hasaquestion Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 ....and doesn't want my help. My new boyfriend of a few weeks hurt himself at work yesterday, he cut 2 fingers with an electrical saw. He called me at 18h yesterday to tell me he was at the hospital. Of course I was worried!! I wanted to know how bad it was, was he in a lot of pain and what had happened. I asked him what hospital he was and that I was gonna go and be with him. He thanked me and said there was no need, he would be ok. After the hospital he went home and contacted me. Told me he needs to show up at a different clinic this morning. Once again I offered to accompany him. I speak the local language , he doesn't. Again he told me he would be fine, he speaks enough of the local language to get by. Is it a male ego thing? He doesn't want his gf sitting in a waiting room with her legs folded stressing out about him. He doesn't need help. He's a big tough guy and pain is just an electrical impulse. Let him be him and don't worry about it. 1
GemmaUK Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I'd probably be the same (and I'm female), it's all happening and being sorted out. If you really want to help out then I'd suggest going over later and cooking for him (if you are at that kind of stage in your relationship). He would most likely appreciate something like that as it's practical help and he will be hindered on looking after himself for a little while. Sometimes even stubborn cookies accept help if they are bamboozled by a fast offer that delivers just what they actually need. He didn't 'need' you at the clinic. He does 'need' to eat. He does 'need' to rest up. 1
Fondue Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I am the same way as your boyfriend. I don't want my SO (or anyone, really) to assist me in anyway when I am sick/hurt/etc. I don't like to show people I might be vulnerable. So it's better to just leave me alone. It's not that he doesn't like you or doesn't trust you in any way. It's that he just doesn't want show any weaknesses. Don't sweat it. 1
Assasda Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Not a male ego thing. Its a you being needy thing
soccerrprp Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Not a male ego thing. Its a you being needy thing Load of crap. Gaeta, your response is natural and normal and fine. He, on the other hand, is too proud and yes, it's a male, macho, ego thing. I can be like him, but if things are serious enough, I don't have any problems asking my SO to come. Why would I have a problem with that? 1
BlueIris Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I’m female and I wouldn’t want my new boyfriend around either. For me, it isn’t because of not wanting to be vulnerable around him. It’s not wanting to have to think about someone else’s opinions and feelings when I need to focus on my treatment and recovery.
quidproquo89 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 ....and doesn't want my help. My new boyfriend of a few weeks hurt himself at work yesterday, he cut 2 fingers with an electrical saw. He called me at 18h yesterday to tell me he was at the hospital. Of course I was worried!! I wanted to know how bad it was, was he in a lot of pain and what had happened. I asked him what hospital he was and that I was gonna go and be with him. He thanked me and said there was no need, he would be ok. After the hospital he went home and contacted me. Told me he needs to show up at a different clinic this morning. Once again I offered to accompany him. I speak the local language , he doesn't. Again he told me he would be fine, he speaks enough of the local language to get by. Is it a male ego thing? I think he doesn't want you to worry (despite the fact you obviously will), perhaps he doesn't want you to see him in a bad state as it will weaken him mentally. Some people like to deal with things on their own. If he wants to do this by himself, just tell him you care and your there for him. Dote on him when you see him next . Make him feel special 1
quidproquo89 Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Load of crap. Gaeta, your response is natural and normal and fine. He, on the other hand, is too proud and yes, it's a male, macho, ego thing. I can be like him, but if things are serious enough, I don't have any problems asking my SO to come. Why would I have a problem with that? I concur, no way a needy thing, really uncalled for. Gaeta is worried and wants to help. Totally natural
Author Gaeta Posted March 23, 2014 Author Posted March 23, 2014 Thank you all. He got out of the clinic at 19h and called me. He was feeling better and relieved there won't be any irreversible damage. I asked if he would like my company for a little bit and he said yes, he always wants to see me, that was nice to hear 1
ja123 Posted March 23, 2014 Posted March 23, 2014 It's good to hear that he's ok. That's a relief, eh? And, you see, he does want to see you! 1
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