imperfectlyhuman Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 So, this could become a lengthy post. I've been casually involved with a guy for nearly 2 months now. Guiltily, we hooked up before he broke up with his gf, but he had been heading towards his breakup for a while. My feelings have been pretty turbulent over the whole affair. I felt guilty, felt sad because I couldn't spend time with him in the normal way and powerless because there was nothing I could do about it. Anyway, he broke up with her and we have begun casually seeing each other. He told me that he doesn't want to get into a relationship right now, which I respect. This type of casual fling is probably the logical choice for me too because I'm travelling at the moment. The thing is, I feel my emotions going from one place to another pretty rapidly and I'm not sure what to do about it. To me, it makes sense. Of course he doesn't want to jump into another relationship just after he's broken up with someone. On the other hand, I feel as though I'm not really sure what this is. Are we F*** buddies? Is this a casual dating thing? Where are the boundaries? I've told him I'd like to see more of him and get to know him, I don't want to push him or pester him, but I don't want an entirely emotionless sexual relationship either. How do you skate the line between having fun with someone and having a connection with them, but not end up hurting yourself in the process? I'm fully aware of what I'm doing, and the truth of the matter is it's pure attraction I think. I would love to look back on this as a great life experience and something that I can really gain something valuable and positive from. A little background info on me. I've been single for about 3 years, and I've always had pretty short term relationships in the past. I don't think I'm open to the idea of 'settling down' but I'm not sure whether my feelings are so erratic because I've been alone for so long/loneliness and a need for companionship. Also, as cliche as it sounds, I'm travelling at the moment in a way to 'find myself' or become a better person. I'm really not sure if I'm playing with fire and could really hurt myself, but I really would like to keep seeing him. Should I just go with the flow and stop worrying?
maestrok Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 Here are my two cents. Either you open up with the possibility of connecting with him but also with the risk of getting hurt in the process OR you don't open up and just enjoy the pure physical things but don't really get hurt-hurt in case things go wrong. There really is no other choice. And it's the choice you need to make.
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