lancerfan Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 So long story short...GF broke up with me 5 months ago after a 1.5+ year relationship. We broke up as she did not think we were a fit, and I will admit I was immature and had some growing to do. This is our 2nd break up (last one lasted a week and we went back to the same broken relationship). Since this breakup we have had no face to face contact however we have exchanged a letter, a few emails and couple texts. The last email exchange we discussed meeting up to talk or spend some time together with no expectations. I offered up some places to meet/go and never received a response. Went back to NC until I got a late night text asking me if I was at the same concert venue as her (which I was and replied the next day). Through friends I know she still asks about me and has been responsive to my reaching out, however she did ignore my last email. So here is my question...do I make one last effort to reach out by phone. My biggest regret by far is that all of our communication has been via printed word and not in face/in person. I am torn, on one side I think I need to take back some dignity and accept the fact that nothing I say will change her mind. On the other hand, I want to make sure I tried all that I can and that hearing my voice and reconnecting will lead to a chance at a new and improved relationship with her
KaliLove Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Will you be fine if she rejects you or ignores you?
Author lancerfan Posted March 21, 2014 Author Posted March 21, 2014 Will you be fine if she rejects you or ignores you? Yes, I will be fine if she rejects but it will sting, no doubt. I am in a much better place now than I was a couple months ago. I have accepted the fact that our old relationship is over and I don't want to go back to that rut. As for my intentions, they are to see if there is a chance for reconciliation. I am not open to friendship or casual contact. I want to show her, organically, that I have matured and am wanting to work things out/understand her needs and see if we can grow together as compatibility never really was our issue. Trust me, I know its a long road and long shot and is not something that just happens overnight, but if she sees change and I see that she has also grown, we might have a chance.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 So long story short...GF broke up with me 5 months ago after a 1.5+ year relationship. We broke up as she did not think we were a fit, and I will admit I was immature and had some growing to do. This is our 2nd break up (last one lasted a week and we went back to the same broken relationship). Since this breakup we have had no face to face contact however we have exchanged a letter, a few emails and couple texts. The last email exchange we discussed meeting up to talk or spend some time together with no expectations. I offered up some places to meet/go and never received a response. Went back to NC until I got a late night text asking me if I was at the same concert venue as her (which I was and replied the next day). Through friends I know she still asks about me and has been responsive to my reaching out, however she did ignore my last email. So here is my question...do I make one last effort to reach out by phone. My biggest regret by far is that all of our communication has been via printed word and not in face/in person. I am torn, on one side I think I need to take back some dignity and accept the fact that nothing I say will change her mind. On the other hand, I want to make sure I tried all that I can and that hearing my voice and reconnecting will lead to a chance at a new and improved relationship with her If she wanted to be with you, she would be. Not your responsibility. 1
KaliLove Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 If she wanted to be with you, she would be. Not your responsibility. I have to agree with this. She should be the one making the effort, not you. If she contacts and wants to see you then sure, why not..if you're positive that you'll be ok if she rejects you or is with someone else. But if that happens then you have to go back to full NC for good.
Mr.Pine Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 (edited) Originally Posted by Lancerfan: I am torn, on one side I think I need to take back some dignity and accept the fact that nothing I say will change her mind. On the other hand, I want to make sure I tried all that I can and that hearing my voice and reconnecting will lead to a chance at a new and improved relationship with her Dignity, my friend, is in low abundance on this site. If you read 90% of the posts, people either beg or plead or beg AND plead and get nowhere. I escaped with my dignity by the skin of my teeth after my relationship of 2 years ended. And for that, I am eternally grateful. The advice on LS certainly helped, as well. Actually, the advice here cemented my own. Before I even knew what NC was, I was already implementing it. As you should now. There's nothing to "make sure" about. She seems pretty passive aggressive with this texting crap and refusing to meet you in the flesh. No new chances. No new and improved relationship. You are already new and improved WITHOUT her. Don't set yourself back. Go NC, save your dignity, and the day! Edited March 21, 2014 by Mr.Pine
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