tornado Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Sorry, this is not very elegant but this is what the MM told me when I said I wanted to stop the affair: he told me, no problem, but give me news from time to time and send me a sextape with your new boyfriend. Is this a lack of respect?
Hope Shimmers Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Is this a lack of respect? You're kidding, right?
TurningTables Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Oh my...YES! That was totally a lack of respect and a diss towards you. Run dont walk away.. And never look back.. ((hugs)) TT 2
beach Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Sorry, this is not very elegant but this is what the MM told me when I said I wanted to stop the affair: he told me, no problem, but give me news from time to time and send me a sextape with your new boyfriend. Is this a lack of respect? He's gross. I guess he thinks he has the right to peek in on your private life. I hope you told him no way!
Author tornado Posted March 21, 2014 Author Posted March 21, 2014 Ok, I will, thanks for your opinion, TurningTables. He said more shocking things, so in the end, I didn't really feel like a human being, more like a despicable object he could use and abuse at his will. Trying to understand how he became like that, he was very nice in the beginning, maybe his true self came out in the end and he was in disguise at the beginning, or maybe it was my fault who allowed him to treat me like that. I felt powerless, not a nice feeling. I am wondering if he was planning to turn me into a kind of slave... the mental manipulation was there, no doubt. Maybe I should not think too much about it, just forget and be careful next time. He was a real control freak. I think he wanted to be someone he wasn't and couldn't do in his real life, with his wife, parents in law etc. A pity I can't observe how he is in his daily life. He is obsessed by his image, good "daddy" image, "nice guy" image, "good husband", "good neighbour", "good son" etc. But nobody was watching him when he was with me. He played the tough guy role with me, "real man" blablabla. In fact, he's a little coward cheater obsessed by his image.
Author tornado Posted March 21, 2014 Author Posted March 21, 2014 He's gross. I guess he thinks he has the right to peek in on your private life. I hope you told him no way! Yes, I asked him if he was joking/provocating me. I told him I won't give him any news. My mum told me it was a problem of social class, and it's true, we don't come from the same background. I don't know if she is right. She told me I have never frequented this type of man.
KaliLove Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Oh good heavens no, it's not normal! It's perverted and disgusting!!!! Go find a single, non-creepy guy! 3
Speakingofwhich Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Pretty sure it's not the sex tape he wants, more like shooting one final zinger in retaliation for breaking up with him! He might be a jerk but he's quick on his feet! 3
SolG Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 ...I didn't really feel like a human being, more like a despicable object he could use and abuse at his will... In fact, he's a little coward cheater obsessed by his image. Hi tornado :-) I think Speakingofwhich has it right. Your MM was trying to punish you and make you feel exactly the way you said you did. So I guess he achieved his aim :-/ However, I think you're right in how you described him in that last sentence. He might have won a battle, but you'll win the war if you follow through and leave his sorry ar&e. I hope you do! Good luck. 1
herself Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Ok, I will, thanks for your opinion, TurningTables. He said more shocking things, so in the end, I didn't really feel like a human being, more like a despicable object he could use and abuse at his will. Trying to understand how he became like that, he was very nice in the beginning, maybe his true self came out in the end and he was in disguise at the beginning, or maybe it was my fault who allowed him to treat me like that. I felt powerless, not a nice feeling. I am wondering if he was planning to turn me into a kind of slave... the mental manipulation was there, no doubt. Maybe I should not think too much about it, just forget and be careful next time. He was a real control freak. I think he wanted to be someone he wasn't and couldn't do in his real life, with his wife, parents in law etc. A pity I can't observe how he is in his daily life. He is obsessed by his image, good "daddy" image, "nice guy" image, "good husband", "good neighbour", "good son" etc. But nobody was watching him when he was with me. He played the tough guy role with me, "real man" blablabla. In fact, he's a little coward cheater obsessed by his image. You know, Im always careful not to use the word Narcissist because I think it can be overused and misused, but have you ever read about it? Because this IS what your dealing with and the damage they do your mind and psyche and emotional well being is extremely damaging and lasting. Look into it. Not saying you need counseling, but you may, it couldnt hurt. WHAT a jerk. A true love would let you walk away graciously and be sad to see you go. Because of the number they do to your self esteem they can be even MORE addicting. I believe you haven't heard the last of him, and you CAN be pulled back in even though your thouroughly convinced your DONE. Engage any friends or family you may be able to confide in. You need a support network if you can. Good luck honey, Im so sorry you got caught up with this jerk. Look after YOU. 3
Author tornado Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Thank you everybody for replying. @herself: I haven't talked much about this to friends, but my mum knows about this. She was relieved when I told her it was finished with the MM. She told me she didn't say anything before because I seemed to happy... She told me to never contact him, and she was worried if I had fallen in love with him. She told me to respect myself and not contact him.
learning_slowly Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Yes, I asked him if he was joking/provocating me. I told him I won't give him any news. My mum told me it was a problem of social class, and it's true, we don't come from the same background. I don't know if she is right. She told me I have never frequented this type of man. I'm not defending his actions, but why are you insinuating all people of a certain class are like him. What class do you come from that excludes you from this behaviour? Surely it takes 2 for cheating to occur? Sometimes you should maybe look in the mirror? 3
ThatsJustHowIRoll Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 I'm not defending his actions, but why are you insinuating all people of a certain class are like him. What class do you come from that excludes you from this behaviour? Surely it takes 2 for cheating to occur? Sometimes you should maybe look in the mirror? Quoted for truth!
C00kie Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 Sorry, this is not very elegant but this is what the MM told me when I said I wanted to stop the affair: he told me, no problem, but give me news from time to time and send me a sextape with your new boyfriend. Is this a lack of respect? He was joking, but yes it's very untasteful and disrespectful.
littleplanet Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Ok, I will, thanks for your opinion, TurningTables. He said more shocking things, so in the end, I didn't really feel like a human being, more like a despicable object he could use and abuse at his will. Trying to understand how he became like that, he was very nice in the beginning, maybe his true self came out in the end and he was in disguise at the beginning, or maybe it was my fault who allowed him to treat me like that. I felt powerless, not a nice feeling. I am wondering if he was planning to turn me into a kind of slave... the mental manipulation was there, no doubt. Maybe I should not think too much about it, just forget and be careful next time. He was a real control freak. I think he wanted to be someone he wasn't and couldn't do in his real life, with his wife, parents in law etc. A pity I can't observe how he is in his daily life. He is obsessed by his image, good "daddy" image, "nice guy" image, "good husband", "good neighbour", "good son" etc. But nobody was watching him when he was with me. He played the tough guy role with me, "real man" blablabla. In fact, he's a little coward cheater obsessed by his image. THIS......is what is not normal, OP. (the first post was just the icing - this is the cake) Doesn't sound like there was much about him at all that had anything to do with respect. I'm not surprised your mum's relieved. Not the sort of person you want to get into an emotional tug of war with. Yes, a little care next time would be in order. Congratulations on having washed this out of your life.
still_an_Angel Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 I think he's smarting because YOU broke up with him. He probably couldn't believe that he got dumped (him being handsome, smart, quite the catch, etc). Soo cheeky though... I would have given him my sweetest smile and tell him he won't be able to afford my sex tape because its for royalty eyes only! 2
AmyBamy Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 I'm in agreement with the above post - that he is trying to blow it off like it doesn't affect him when it really does. But still just gross and what an odd thing to say to someone.
RickFox Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 It was done to piss you off and make you into the bad guy so to speak....walk away and never look back at this fool 1
P1nginLOVE Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Yes, I asked him if he was joking/provocating me. I told him I won't give him any news. My mum told me it was a problem of social class, and it's true, we don't come from the same background. I don't know if she is right. She told me I have never frequented this type of man. He was totally acting disrespectful. It's a good thing that he showed you who he really is! Hopefully, he won't contact you anymore!
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