Author BlueBobby Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Why not just divorce and go be with her. If you truly love her why not be with her everyday. Why put everyone else at risk. It does not really make much sense to me that your ok with her having sex with her husband and then coming and having sex with you. Clay There is a long list of reasons why I don't want to divorce. And with all due respect, it doesn't have to make sense to you, but I am totally ok with her having sex with her husband. That's something that barely weighs on my mind.
Author BlueBobby Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 It sounds like your plan is to just keep it on the friend tip, more of an EA than a PA. Correct? If so, and you're not looking to return to what you had, just read your own words: "...it feels like it did at the beginning." Consider how that turned out. Ya I think we would both like to dial it back. But you are exactly right because it already had turned physical again in only a couple days. But we have done more talking than we ever have and we are trying to figure it out.
Author BlueBobby Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 I am probably wasting my time here, but I'll make one last appeal to your common human decency. i hope you are able to put your cocky attitude aside or a minute and ask yourself if any of this is fair, kind and loving to your wife. She's not only being betrayed by her H, but also by her best friend. If you were in in her place, how would that make you feel? Wouldn't you be really hurt? Would you think it was all just some sort of a hilarious joke and a reason to brag that your H and best friend, the two people who you are supposed to be able to trust the most in the world hurt you like that? I really am surprised that you can treat this cruelty in such a cavalier and dismissive way, like it's some sort of funny thing that you are pulling one over on her. How on earth can either of you possibly feel good, or even okay, about doing that? I'm really hoping that you do feel bad and your attitude is just a cover up because you feel guilt over hurting someone. Now I suppose that you'll just chalk my post up to being a bs, but I have a feeling that most ws and ow/om don't find your attitude all that appealing or funny either. I don't think your post was bull ****. People are free to say and have opinions doesn't bother me, I just don't respond to the ones that are completely black and white and if I do I'm sure I do sound like a dick. I'm not about to censor myself. I have lots of thoughts and considerations where my wife is concerned but ya I don't feel the need to discuss them here. This wasn't an over night thing and I do just about everything I can to make my wife happy and she genuinely is happy so I don't feel too bad about her. As for me and my girl. And we feel good as whole people because we are generally good people. I've felt lots of guilt I'm only human but in comparison to the whole of who we both are, this isn't something the keeps me awake at night and I'm not living in fear of getting caught or going to hell.
Ruffian1 Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I am totally ok with her having sex with her husband. That's something that barely weighs on my mind. Well that shows what an open minded, not jealous and possessive man you are. So you should have no trouble telling your wife she is now in an open marriage and is free to be with other guys. Win/win for everybody! 4
Sub Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 I'd stop referring to her as "my girl" if you think it's best to keep it friends. Though it sounds like you may not know what it is.
Author BlueBobby Posted March 24, 2014 Author Posted March 24, 2014 Well that shows what an open minded, not jealous and possessive man you are. So you should have no trouble telling your wife she is now in an open marriage and is free to be with other guys. Win/win for everybody! I've said before and will again, my wife knows what I want. I've told her, she's freaked and ya keeping it a secret is what works for me. But again, ya, her having sex with someone else wouldn't bother me either but id be pissed about the lies and not that I feel like going over it again but I do see the irony in that, I get it, it's not like it's hasn't been considered.
SugarHibiscus Posted March 24, 2014 Posted March 24, 2014 You may be entering into a pattern... I'm in a similar A. Over the past year or so, we've "broken up" twice. Basically, what that meant for us, is we didn't actually have sex. The first time lasted a month and the second time lasted 6 weeks. We still talked daily. Clearly, we aren't good at walking the tightrope. We end up naked together. We have to stop talking to each other for this to end. The problem, as I see it, is that we tried not to get our feelings involved. That was really naive of us. We're more bonded than we ever intended to be. This post probably isn't much help, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
Recommended Posts