changirl Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 My boyfriend and I broke up recently (we weren't together for very long) and now it feels like I'm initiating everything...I asked him to get coffee the other day, and he quickly complied. Then when I finalized plans with him a few days later, he seemed a little aloof. I'm not actually "pursuing" him, I just want to be a good friend to him and ask him to hang out. He seems so open to hanging out, he just won't initiate it himself. Should I stop doing this because it makes me seem desperate? And just wait for him to contact me? I'm happy on my own now, and I don't have any expectations from him, but I just don't want him to disappear from my life...I have a glimmer of hope that someday he might realize that I was the right one after all, for sticking around and being there for him. (Is this possible?) Even if he doesn't and meets someone else, I don't want to lose him as a friend. For context, we broke up due to differences in interests, and over his lack of communication in the relationship, not a big reason. Even when we broke up, he said he really liked me, but things just didn't work out for us. He's a passive, patient type of guy who just waits things out and takes weeks to make decisions. Thank you for any answer at all
d0nnivain Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 It's not very healthy & on some levels will make it harder for either of you to move on. Any new romantic prospects in either of your lives aren't going to be thrilled with this arrangement.
BradJacobs Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Maybe he doesn't need you as a friend as much as you need him? If I felt this could play tricks on my mind and how I felt then I would be very aloof and non-committal as well.
pickflicker Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Yeah, this isn't working. You're trying to hold onto him in your life, and he's not interested. That's why he's not initiating. Did he break up with you?
Author changirl Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 Hi, I initiated the break up but it turned out to be mutual...I guess he was feeling that it wasn't working out either.
BradJacobs Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Why do you want him in your life? Change of heart or don't want to look like a bad person?
pickflicker Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Hi, I initiated the break up but it turned out to be mutual...I guess he was feeling that it wasn't working out either. Then being all up in his business after dumping him is rude. You need to let him be.
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