It's been months after break up and dont feel better yet :(

[Mizunderstood27]

My life sucks! I've been with my ex for a year and the first 6 months were GREAT! the love of my life. but the last 6 months were terrible. Find out so many lies with him. He was still legally married although she was in jail he never filed for divorce (he's divorced now)smh. he lied about having a car and a kid. He has three but lied about a fourth one. He was living with his Mother. I know he sounds like a real loser!

 

He was a sweet guy to me and I felt like he was on hard times (before I found out about the lies of course). I felt like his ex going to jail put him in a finacial problems, but this was the reason for all of out problems the last 6 months of the relationship. Breaking up and getting back together. It was stressful to say the least. I have no kids, have my own home, and car so all of these problems were so difficult for me to deal with. At some point I wouldnt say I got over everything but just excepted what was. Funny part this isnt the official reason why we're not together. I broke up with him because I didnt feel appreciated.

 

I always put in first, loved his kids, and felt like i did everything. I cooked all the time and anywhere we went I had to drive my car. In the end I was paying to because he didnt have the money to. Writing this down it sounds like the best thing I could ever do it move on from this guy, but why do I still want him back in a way. I didnt like how we were of course but he was understanding and loving to me despite. He was the first guy who let me be me and never changed me. We clicked so well and we had so much in common. We never fought about getting along, we fought about all his baggage.

 

I think that's why Im so saddened by this because it was never personality issues there with us. Now we're here and I have no trust for this man but at the same time still love him (or maybe its loneliness). it's been 2 months and we've talked since then but i think he's moved on although he said he's not with anyone but he's on dating sites. which hurts alot. We've argued a few times. We go back and forth with the "i want you back" but the other always says no. It's confusing. The last 6 months I nagged him to death about everything he was doing wrong and I know it wasnt right but I was so unhappy. A seen him a week ago and he said he didnt know what he wanted. I told him we should work on it and initially he agreed but then he back petal and said no because he needed to get himself together.

 

I even tried the online dating thing to for 2 weeks and all it did was make me miss him more. My self esteem is so low right now. I really dont have friends more like associates and all I do is cry and stay in the house. i hate being alone and wish i could get over him. I ever tried to block him on my phone but stopped because i seceretly want him to call me. It's so sad! My heart hurts all the time and its been months now and it still feels like we just broke up yesterday

Edited March 20, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator