saltyfishhead666 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 What rules do you live by in the dating world? Do you wait a specific amount of time to text/call? Do you say good morning/night to the guy/ girl you like? These are just examples. I am curious about the things people swear by when dating in the early stages!! 1
Gaeta Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 My rule is to not have any rules. I feel like texting I do, I feel like making an invitation I do, I feel like giving the man a compliment I do. I show myself as I am, if that turns out to be too much or too little it's because we are not compatible. 6
Conners Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 The only thing I do is try not to come across too eager or "desperate" in the beginning if I really like the guy. Although it never seems to work out the way I want it to. WHY? I'll go out with a guy, won't feel much of a connection or interest. Post first date I would stop communicating with them as much while I consider whether I want a second date or not. This seems to make them like me more because I'm being distant or unavailable. And when I finally come across a guy I like I can go crazy and become clingy very fast when I tell myself not to over think things and blow up their phone that happened with my ex.. but luckily my eagerness didn't scare him off. Although I know it could of easily happened as it has before and to many of my friends. I also tell myself not to put out early on. Another rule I've broken a few times. Wanted a relationship and put out on the second date and thought things would take a turn for the worse. Luckily they didn't. I guess there aren't really any rules in dating, it's down to whether both people like each other enough to turn it into something more. Looking back on my dating experience I haven't really been the wisest but it turned out good because both of us liked each other enough.
David87 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 I don't have rules but some of your qustion are spot on What rules do you live by in the dating world? None. It's important that I like the girl and that she shows interest in me. Do you wait a specific amount of time to text/call? No, I do it when I feel like doing it. I hate playing games. Do you say good morning/night to the guy/ girl you like? I hate good morning and good night texts at the beginning of the relationship. I dated a girl a couple of weeks ago, we went on our first date it was fine, but she started with those texts, made me step back just a little. After a month or 2 I think I just love those kind of texts. If there is chemistry between us things go smooth with no effort at all
quidproquo89 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 experience shows that you shouldn't come across as needy/desperate. So give each other space, keep living your life. Don't make them the centre of attention. You need to find the right level of interest, show them your interested, but show you have your own life and are busy in it. Also taking it easy on dates, take things easy, keep it light and fun for the first few dates. Intimacy should gradually come later. Look to see how the other one behaves and act accordingly. Try not to get too emotionally involved to early, sorta enjoy it, keep it light and see how it goes.
Emilia Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 My main rule is watching how he is with me, how he communicates, how he handles inevitable conflict, I spend the first 2-3 months learning about his character. I try to be as direct as appropriate about likes and dislikes and I see what he does with that. I have a 'two strikes and you are out' rule for potential red flags. I think the beginning is building of an intimate connection and a process of elimination simultaneously - which can be emotionally tough.
pickflicker Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Let a guy be a guy. Let them pursue, pay, and initiate. Never expect, always offer (genuinely). I have not met a single guy who didn't appreciate a woman who allowed them to be a man. And it's not about being subservient. It's not about manipulating, I don't conceal or change anything about my personality. I'm still opinionated, intelligent, and independent. It's just about being a listener, a nurturer, enthusiastic and thankful when they spend their time with you. That's a partnership - not attempting to "one-up" in the roles, but recognising that men and women are different. Play to your strengths, let him play to his. 2
quidproquo89 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 My main rule is watching how he is with me, how he communicates, how he handles inevitable conflict, I spend the first 2-3 months learning about his character. I try to be as direct as appropriate about likes and dislikes and I see what he does with that. I have a 'two strikes and you are out' rule for potential red flags. I think the beginning is building of an intimate connection and a process of elimination simultaneously - which can be emotionally tough. Two strikes and your out? What comes under that category for you?
Emilia Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Two strikes and your out? What comes under that category for you? - Someone who withdraws from communication when there is a conflict. If I see that it's a pattern I stop seeing them. - When someone can't control how much they drink, I'm talking pretty extreme, I had to peel someone I was seeing out of the gutter once. Sure people occasionally like to let their hair down but he admitted he couldn't stop when a bottle was in front of him. Like I mentioned, red flag stuff.
JourneyLady Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Mostly I try to mirror the guy's behavior. Though after a couple weeks, if there's nothing there to mirror, I'll just let go because he's not that keen on me, barring some other (communicated) difficulty. If he hasn't asked to see me again after two weeks, he's not really interested - not at that point, anyway. 1
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 - Someone who withdraws from communication when there is a conflict. If I see that it's a pattern I stop seeing them. - When someone can't control how much they drink, I'm talking pretty extreme, I had to peel someone I was seeing out of the gutter once. Sure people occasionally like to let their hair down but he admitted he couldn't stop when a bottle was in front of him. Like I mentioned, red flag stuff. Withdrawing from communication over conflict is something I will definitely look out for in future - after a 6 week silence because you disagree with their opinion I've learnt that lesson!! 1
d0nnivain Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 I had rules about the person I dated; mostly a list of hard limits. When I started dating I had rules. Don't appear too eager which meant not reaching out / initiating contact every day. I dated before I learned how to text so I never did the good morning / good night thing. I had a time frame before I would consider sleeping with them. That meant I wouldn't allow dates in places with beds or private couches before that. No sex before exclusivity. Condoms at first then tests. I would also wait a certain time after sex to say I love you. 1
Phantom888 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 In my opinion, NO RULES. If my new prospect does not like my way of dating, then she's not for me. Period. I am very affectionate. I kiss on 1st date. I say good morning/night to the lady I like. I always text call the same night after the date or early next morning. I never have sex on 1st date. I have no problem saying "I love you" if that is truly how I feel. I don't have sex unless we are exclusive. If the lady gets turned off by my ways, then she is not THE ONE. I have been rejected a couple of times, and it hurt, but I don't take things personally. I don't like "dating rules". To me they are pure mind games. 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 The golden rule. Treat others how you'd like to be treated. And vice versa. One of the biggest repeat red flags ive come across during my dating travels is that girls have constantly done things to where I ask "if I did that would it bother you?" her: "yes." lol I think if people followed the golden rule which is basically general respect that soooo many dating would never come up.
Phantom888 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 My rule is to not have any rules. I feel like texting I do, I feel like making an invitation I do, I feel like giving the man a compliment I do. I show myself as I am, if that turns out to be too much or too little it's because we are not compatible. Just realized I said exactly what you said.
Recommended Posts