KANSAN Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 My story is simple to understand but confusing when it comes to making a decision so your help in making my mind up would be appreciated. I've been seeing this woman for about six months, when we first met she just wanted to be friends me too since I had just been divorced for about 4mo. at the time and did'nt feel ready. The first couple of months were fine going out watching movies ect...yet all the while I was noticing the disagreements about almost everything movies music tv stupid stuff. I guess for the first few months I just did'nt say anything about it I thought it would pass. About 4months in I had had enough of letting her say anything and me just sitting there so when she disagreed with me I would reinforce my statements which would always lead to arguments. After 6months I guess I've had enough and I told her that I think that we're incompatible and I tell her my issues that I've stated amongst other things and she goes on and on about that she has to agree with everything I say or we're incompatible and that she has her own opinions. My question is how many differences and disagreements is too many I mean we don't have to agree on everything but I don't think that we should argue 80% of the time either do you guys think that I'm unreasonable. Thanks
savethedrama4allama Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 If you disagree 80% of the time in the beginning, its only going to get worse. I would say that you are incompatible and it would be best to move on.
tattoomytoe Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 even if you do not agree, there is compromise. but it seems you two are each uncompromisable... at least enough to keep from fighting. i would look for someone a bit more compatible.
theone44 Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 Originally posted by KANSAN My story is simple to understand but confusing when it comes to making a decision so your help in making my mind up would be appreciated. I've been seeing this woman for about six months, when we first met she just wanted to be friends me too since I had just been divorced for about 4mo. at the time and did'nt feel ready. The first couple of months were fine going out watching movies ect...yet all the while I was noticing the disagreements about almost everything movies music tv stupid stuff. I guess for the first few months I just did'nt say anything about it I thought it would pass. About 4months in I had had enough of letting her say anything and me just sitting there so when she disagreed with me I would reinforce my statements which would always lead to arguments. After 6months I guess I've had enough and I told her that I think that we're incompatible and I tell her my issues that I've stated amongst other things and she goes on and on about that she has to agree with everything I say or we're incompatible and that she has her own opinions. My question is how many differences and disagreements is too many I mean we don't have to agree on everything but I don't think that we should argue 80% of the time either do you guys think that I'm unreasonable. Thanks this woman have a bad and personality attitude......man turn your back on this one, and run to the hills and never look back. You will thank God and yourself in the the end.
Merin Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 There are some people I've found who are just disagreeable.. they like to disagree and take the opposite stand of whatever the majority are doing/saying.. IMO.. it kind of seems that this girl you've been dating is just disagreeable.. you say it's light and she will swear it's dark.. and I guess I wonder if it's because she feels she needs to let you know that you're not going to take over her life/thoughts whatever.. (maybe she was with someone in the past who always made her wrong?) Bottomline.. nobody wants to be with someone who needs to be "right" all of the time, or insist on thier own point of view.. maybe it isn't so much that you have different likes/interest(s) maybe it's that you are more compromising and willing to allow someone else to show you something different while she is digging in her heels for the sake of doing so.. Make any sense?
tattoomytoe Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 but who is the one who MUST have the last word, KANSAN? you or her? Just make sure that you do your part to be flexiable too.
Author KANSAN Posted January 27, 2005 Author Posted January 27, 2005 I do appreciate the replies, most of you seem to confirm what i'm thinking. I don't always have to be right I know that and I don't have to have the last word either but I'm not a dumba** either and her always trying to prove me wrong gets old. I don't want to fight over silly stuff with someone that I'm in a relationship with. I can't even make a simple comment about anything without wondering what is this going to start. I think I'll just move on, at least we can end this peacefully and be civil when we see one another out. Thanks
moimeme Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 I was in a relationship like that. It was hell on wheels. It would be boring to have identical opinions on everything, but having a lot in common makes for a cozy relationship. You don't need that much drama in your life.
imokurnot Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 That is the number before you have had enough. You my friend have had enough or you wouldn't be here. Oh and let the rest of us know that total because we may need to keep count someday. You already did the research, might as well share your findings Thanks..........
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