TheSwarm Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) This has been really bugging me lately with my ex. We've been talking for the last six months or so, more so now than before. Mostly conversation is initiated by her. It's been nice catching up with her... but as of late. She will start a conversation with me, then when i say something, and ask a question she will completely just ignore me. She's done this like 4 times now through text and facebook. I figured the first time sure, she may not have seen it. Second time sure, it happens... shes busy so what. Third time and fourth... I'm starting to think it's on purpose. I honestly find it pretty rude when people just ignore me when it clearly says on facebook that they have seen my message. I want to say it doesn't drive me nuts, but it does. Thoughts on why exes do this? Edited March 20, 2014 by TheSwarm
BC1980 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Why are you still in contact with her? She does it as a power play. 2
Author TheSwarm Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 Why are you still in contact with her? She does it as a power play. Well the simplest answer to that is, I care about her. The thing is we've been talking for awhile now, on and off. It's been fine, talked to her on the phone. That was fine as well. No weird energy between us what so ever. I haven't said anything to her about it, because I don't want to offend her in anyway... but I honestly find it kind of rude. If she did this from the start six months ago when we started talking again, i wouldn't even bother talking to her... but why talk completely normal for six months, and then start doing this? I figure it's some kind of mind game
Heroeric Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 If she keeps being the one to start the convo, then she is doing it because she knows it will make you want her more. Just answer her question, and if she replies with something like "good", or "fine", anything short, just leave it at that. She expects you to reply.
Author TheSwarm Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 If she keeps being the one to start the convo, then she is doing it because she knows it will make you want her more. Just answer her question, and if she replies with something like "good", or "fine", anything short, just leave it at that. She expects you to reply. But it's more like Her: Heyyyy, how was last night?! Me: Good! It was amazing actually, how did your night end up? ........... Seen at 4:45.... and no response. It's just weird, and kind of makes me feel inadequate. She's a nice girl, so i don't know why she would do something like that.
somegoodman Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 It's called "playing coquette"...women do this when they have no real interest in you but need to feel better about themselves. Ignore her forever. 4
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 No i think if she is initiating all the time then she is looking for u to initiate.. she's probably seeing if u will text again... I think u should text her if thats what u want x
David87 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 No i think if she is initiating all the time then she is looking for u to initiate.. she's probably seeing if u will text again... I think u should text her if thats what u want x You couldn't be more wrong ..... He should ignore her forever, Block her on FB and never speak to her again. Op you know what your problem is? You still talk to your ex. It doesnt matter if she's initiating the convos. Guess what, she does this because she still owns you and she knows it. Gets her ego boost and leaves. People EX's are EX's for a reason. 2
futurehistory Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Completly agree with David.She's probably doing it to see if you are still interested in her,have you ever not responded back to her ? Notice though that when she is sending you a message she sends it with a question so you will feel like you have to respond.
Author TheSwarm Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.
Author TheSwarm Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) I feel like you guys are right to a degree. There are some factors that are kind of throwing me off that maybe you guys could put into perspective for me. I know she is kind of having a hard time right now because she just broke up with her current boyfriend... but she sent me a message to rekindle the friendship when she was still dating him.. months and months before they even broke up we were kind of chatting. So I don't think she's talking to me just because she's upset about her current break-up. Secondly, shes said we should hang out sometime recently. Which I'm hesitant on because I'm the type of person who likes to sit back and analyze a situation before i get into it, to see if that's even something I'd want to get into at this point. She's always nice when we talk, she's not cold or anything or i wouldn't talk to her at all. She MUST know that not responding back to someone can be hurtful. Could someone really be oblivious to that? I don't want to bring it up to her because I feel like it's something that should go without saying, common courtesy. It's honestly making me lose a little respect for her, so I guess that's a good thing if her true intentions are just to get an ego boost. I just like to try and see people in a better light, that's all. Edited March 20, 2014 by TheSwarm
somegoodman Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 I know she is kind of having a hard time right now because she just broke up with her current boyfriend... but she sent me a message to rekindle the friendship when she was still dating him.. months and months before they even broke up we were kind of chatting. So I don't think she's talking to me just because she's upset about her current break-up. She's hedging her bets. She started talking to you before the breakup because she anticipated or even calculated the breakup. She did the same when she left you for this guy. She's spinning plates, biding time, keeping you on the backburner. Doesn't mean she actually wants you, she just wants attention. She MUST know that not responding back to someone can be hurtful. Of course she knows, but she doesn't care. If she cared about you she wouldn't do it. I don't want to bring it up to her because I feel like it's something that should go without saying, common courtesy. It's honestly making me lose a little respect for her, so I guess that's a good thing if her true intentions are just to get an ego boost. I just like to try and see people in a better light, that's all. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Listen to her actions, not her words. 1
Author TheSwarm Posted March 21, 2014 Author Posted March 21, 2014 I guess I needed that... but honestly, when we chat she's very nice and expressive. I was more going along the lines of am I getting to worked up about something like that? I've always kind of been this way with anybody, so I'm wondering if that happened with you guys would you really even care, or make a big deal out of it?
Justletgo Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 (edited) I agree that people who do that are very annoying. And to answer your question, yes I do make a big deal out of it. Because if it happens often, they are clearly disrespecting you. So why go through the effort to talk to them. Then again, if you don't put someone in line when they misbehave, they will think it's ok to do so. Call her out on it, when you ask something and she doesn't reply ask if she's too busy to talk. Or say that you've noticed that she responds slowly sometimes, why is that? After that you can decide if you want to ignore her or not. Instead of ignoring her straight out I think this way leaves most options open. Edited March 22, 2014 by Justletgo
Gish Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 She's passive-aggressively rejecting you over and over and over. She secretly hates your guts, but still craves you attention. She has issues. I'd go no contact.
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