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For Those of You Who Don't Want to Block Your Ex on Facebook

elseaacych

By elseaacych
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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elseaacych Established Member

elseaacych

Posted
Posted (edited)

This is for those of you that have a good amount of self control. Be honest with yourself about this and proceed with caution. It took me awhile to figure this out, because I didn't want to block my ex, but I don't want to talk to them, or have them see my random daily updates. I'm too funny for them to appreciate, anyway. :) Blocking your ex may seem "extreme", especially if you are the dumper, and/or parted amicably and want to be "friendly" or "friends" in the FAR future.

 

1. Unfollow the following people if you are friends with them:

-ex

-ex's parents

-ex's siblings

-ex's close friends that you are only friends with because of your ex.

You can do this by going to their facebook profile page and clicking "unfollow" on the top of the page.

 

2. Add your ex to your "restricted list". Add anyone else you feel like restricting as well. They will only be able to see pictures and posts of you and them from the past, or any profile picture you upload. So... ouch, if they're looking for you.

Go to your friends list and click on the little icon next to your ex's name. click "add to list">restricted.

 

3. Go to your privacy settings and make sure that they can only see your restricted profile.

Privacy settings>view profile as> [ex's name here]

 

4. Upload a fabulous new profile picture of yourself. You deserve it.

 

5. Forget about them.

 

5b. If you find you can't stop facebook stalking them after a week or so, just go ahead and block them.

 

6. Enjoy Facebook.

 

Hope this helps all of you "softies" out there!

Edited by elseaacych
Me. Myself and I Established Member

Me. Myself and I

Posted
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This is great thanks :)

 

I especially like step 4 & 5!

pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

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The people who "can't" or "don't want to" block their exes on FB, are the people who need to do it the most.

  • Like 9
oz-missy Established Member

oz-missy

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The people who "can't" or "don't want to" block their exes on FB, are the people who need to do it the most.

 

Not necessarily! I'm friends with most of my exes online (and some in RL) and nothing unhealthy there.

 

Some people are just naturally predisposed to obsession.

  • Like 3
Strength in Healing Established Member

Strength in Healing

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Not necessarily! I'm friends with most of my exes online (and some in RL) and nothing unhealthy there.

 

Some people are just naturally predisposed to obsession.

 

 

I don't understand being friends with exes.

  • Like 3
pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

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Posted
Not necessarily! I'm friends with most of my exes online (and some in RL) and nothing unhealthy there.

 

Some people are just naturally predisposed to obsession.

 

Fair enough, but in the context of this thread, I think the OP and those struggling are best to put the block on, at least for the time being. Most of these people are attempting to be friends with an ex while there are still feelings there. A bad idea.

  • Like 1
EuTuBrute Established Member

EuTuBrute

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Yeah block them.. I would have gotten back with my ex if it wasn't for facebook. She was "upset" that I liked someone's post on facebook (big lol here) and told me she wanted to get back with me but because of the like she won't do it.

Lernaean_Hydra Established Member

Lernaean_Hydra

Posted
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Not necessarily! I'm friends with most of my exes online (and some in RL) and nothing unhealthy there.

 

Some people are just naturally predisposed to obsession.

 

What's the appeal? I'm genuinely curious as whether things ended poorly or amicably, I have never had any desire to remain friends with an ex.

David87 Established Member

David87

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I'm at the receiving end of this metod, and all I can tell you is that it helped me alot to move on. My ex blocked me, my parents, my siblings, my close friends after a week.

 

It feels like you worth nothing, like you are a piece of trash step by every day in the street while it's raining. Did I described it well? :D

 

So yes, do it, especially if you are the dumper and you want to feel even better after you dump the poor bastard. And yes before doing it upload a picture of you looking like a million dollars to make sure you make his life a living hell ;) Tnx

organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

Posted
Posted
Yeah block them.. I would have gotten back with my ex if it wasn't for facebook. She was "upset" that I liked someone's post on facebook (big lol here) and told me she wanted to get back with me but because of the like she won't do it.

 

 

 

Sorry, but if that's all it took to prevent her from getting back with you, you dodged a huge bullet.

David87 Established Member

David87

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This is great thanks :)

 

I especially like step 4 & 5!

 

Yes that's the best part ;) so do it now..

  • Like 1
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elseaacych Established Member

elseaacych

Posted
  • Author
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What's the appeal? I'm genuinely curious as whether things ended poorly or amicably, I have never had any desire to remain friends with an ex.

 

Well, in my case, at least, I was dumped, but it ended amicably and we both expressed desires to MAYBE be friends in the future. However, I have absolutely no desire to be friends with him right now. Probably not for another several months-couple of years. However, because we were good friends as well as lovers, and he was an interesting guy, I just wanted a way to remove him without "removing him".

 

I am the type of person that only removes people from my friends list if I have no idea who they are. The rest of the people I'm "meh" towards, I'll just unfollow.

 

There are benefits to blocking an ex on facebook... particularly if you are a dumpee and the ex has have to friend you if they want to see what you are up to...

martaldn Established Member

martaldn

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I blocked him even if I wasnt friend with him on facebook. I dont want him to know anything about me and see what I am doing. I dont have a twitter account ( he has but I cant do anything about it). I want him to think I moved to another planet.

if they want to come back they will always find a way.. facebook is just a way to keep things alive when we dont want let them go.

  • Like 2
Strength in Healing Established Member

Strength in Healing

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Or just delete facebook because it is garbage and hinders our ability as a culture to have meaningful face-to-face conversation.

  • Like 1
David87 Established Member

David87

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I blocked him even if I wasnt friend with him on facebook. I dont want him to know anything about me and see what I am doing. I dont have a twitter account ( he has but I cant do anything about it). I want him to think I moved to another planet.

if they want to come back they will always find a way.. facebook is just a way to keep things alive when we dont want let them go.

 

Hey Martaldn, you did the right thing. Hope you're ok .

martaldn Established Member

martaldn

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Hey Martaldn, you did the right thing. Hope you're ok .

 

hey! still struggling badly sometime ( like today ) but I am holding on. its hard but I know its for my best. thanks for asking David :)

  • Like 1
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted (edited)

Why not just un-friend them?

 

I don't see the point in remaining friends, facebook or not, with your ex.

 

Personally, I wasn't able to stop myself from going to her page after she dumped me, so I un-friended her, so I wouldn't be able to see what she was doing.

 

I don't give a damn if she was able to see my page or not.

Edited by somedude81
  • Like 1
Babolat Established Member

Babolat

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Interesting post, and I get the message from the OP.

 

I even had this talk with a female friend last night "Should I unfriend my ex gf, should she (my female friend) unfriend her ex bf"

 

And, today is my ex gfs birthday, should I text her "Happy Birthday". I want to, as a friend only though, because I do care about her.

 

Both of our break ups were amicable (I wanted both breakups), no arguing, no cheating, no hate, no yelling, nothing like that. We finally agreed, mutually, we are not compatible, and are better friends than we are life partners. We kissed goodbye and that was that. We both said we hope we can be friends in the future as we value our friendship. It's too soon right now though.

 

When we first started dating I asked her to not FB me. I did not want to get to know her, virtually, electronically. She waited 8 months (we were still dating then), then sent me a FB request. It took me a while to accept it.

 

Even when we were not dating I did not check her FB page; I did not care to. And even while dating I rarely checked her FB page.

 

I am not Facebook friends with my ex wife. I don't want to be, ever. I honestly do not like her as a person.

 

I am Facebook friends with my first wife, from 25 years ago. I'm also Facebook friends with 2 exes. All 3 are married, with kids, happy, families, all that. And I occassionally bump into them.

 

I think it's circumstantional and situational. It's not a one size fits all thing. If it's to heal, then yes, block them, go full NC. Once you've healed, if you want to be friends, and can be friends, then do it. If not, don't look back.

  • Like 1
Weallwalkthelongroad Established Member

Weallwalkthelongroad

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I have no desire to be friends with my ex on FB. I gave her a week after the BU to see if she would make contact, and I got nothing. So I unfriended her. Been NC ever since. Out of sight and out of mind. I honestly couldn't care any less about what or who she's doing.

organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

Posted
Posted
Interesting post, and I get the message from the OP.

 

I even had this talk with a female friend last night "Should I unfriend my ex gf, should she (my female friend) unfriend her ex bf"

 

And, today is my ex gfs birthday, should I text her "Happy Birthday". I want to, as a friend only though, because I do care about her.

 

Both of our break ups were amicable (I wanted both breakups), no arguing, no cheating, no hate, no yelling, nothing like that. We finally agreed, mutually, we are not compatible, and are better friends than we are life partners. We kissed goodbye and that was that. We both said we hope we can be friends in the future as we value our friendship. It's too soon right now though.

 

When we first started dating I asked her to not FB me. I did not want to get to know her, virtually, electronically. She waited 8 months (we were still dating then), then sent me a FB request. It took me a while to accept it.

 

Even when we were not dating I did not check her FB page; I did not care to. And even while dating I rarely checked her FB page.

 

I am not Facebook friends with my ex wife. I don't want to be, ever. I honestly do not like her as a person.

 

I am Facebook friends with my first wife, from 25 years ago. I'm also Facebook friends with 2 exes. All 3 are married, with kids, happy, families, all that. And I occassionally bump into them.

 

I think it's circumstantional and situational. It's not a one size fits all thing. If it's to heal, then yes, block them, go full NC. Once you've healed, if you want to be friends, and can be friends, then do it. If not, don't look back.

 

Yes, all circumstantial. My ex wife is blocked, even though we are on very friendly terms and share a child. Even though we're friendly, I don't want her peeking in to my life, who I'm seeing, or anything.

 

There are a few girls I dated for a short while, broke up, but still FB friends with. There wasn't an emotional attachment, I wasn't in love with them. They're on to new bf's or married and I don't care.

 

My most recent ex that I was with for 3 years, that I fell in love with - unfriended immediately, as well as all of her friends I connected with, but not blocked. I don't go to her page and she doesn't post anything publicly anyway. But she's still FB friends with my brother, sister in law, a couple cousins and some friends of mine. I don't ask for insight and they don't offer.

  • Like 1
Trovador Established Member

Trovador

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People's inability to block their immediate exes (lol) is due to two reasons:

 

1- They hope for a miracle

2- They hope for a miracle...

 

And as we know, miracles don't exist...

oz-missy Established Member

oz-missy

Posted
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What's the appeal? I'm genuinely curious as whether things ended poorly or amicably, I have never had any desire to remain friends with an ex.

 

Apologies for the delay - I've been away from my computer (gotta love work).

 

But I digress.

 

Being friends with my exes, really after romance peters out a lot of the time we have worked out we are better as friends then as a couple. A lot of time and shared memories we have so if there is no acrimony between myself and my ex I see no issue with remaining friends.

 

For any relationship that ended poorly I am no longer in contact at all, but that is in the minority for me. I have generally ended relationships amicably so I have found there has been no reason why we can't still be in each others lives - just in a different way.

JourneyLady Established Member

JourneyLady

Posted
Posted
People's inability to block their immediate exes (lol) is due to two reasons:

 

1- They hope for a miracle

2- They hope for a miracle...

 

And as we know, miracles don't exist...

 

Well, sometimes the miracle we're looking for is to see them get what's coming to them after treating us badly. So there *are* other reasons we might be curious...

:laugh:

hermitinator Established Member

hermitinator

Posted
Posted

I was the dumper and I deleted him and all of his friends from facebook. I feel that this is a drastic action because we have both admitted to each other that we want each other in our lives even if it's not as lovers. Even so, I know that it is the only way to move forward and for him to get the hint, if he has any hope, that we are final - it has been on-and-off. (A part of me doesn't want to hurt his feelings)

absolutecp Member

absolutecp

Posted
Posted

I don't know if blocking them is a great idea if you are looking to get back with them. My former ex broke up with me and event though I wanted to, I didn't delete her from Facebook. We went NC for 3 weeks and then she contacted me. We met up and a couple of days later we were giving the relationship another shot. I told her that I almost deleted her and she said that if I would have she would have not contacted me at all.

 

I guess it just depends on the person.

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