Mr me to Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 To get yourself back after your long term relationship ended due to a betrayal? I'm 8 months post break up 2 months total no contact. I set myself a some goals... Find a new house, find a new job, start going to gym. Sort finances out, get in to routine with children. I've completed them all and still 90% of the time I feel like ****, still angry, still weathering the mental storm. I just feel like there's part of myself still missing. I've gone from a fun loving extrovert to a kind of awkward quiet guy. Hard as I try I still have that walking about in a haze feeling, it's a shame as I'm living in a new area and the new job means I'm around a lot of new people but I feel like I'm not making the impression I would like to. Had my first night out since discovering her betrayal and just couldn't get into fun mode, ended up extremely drunk and waking up depressed the following day...
No Limit Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 The thing you feel is missing, you'll just have to re-invent. You have so many possibilities at hand right now, just keep going and whenever your head might go back to your ****ty ex you count to ten and think of another topic. 1
letsplaygofish2 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Drinking is a depressant. I would recommend swapping that with building sort of community where you feel needed. It could be church, a sports team, coaching, little league, volunteering or whatever. I find that putting yourself in a position where you are wanted/needed and held accountable will make the world of a difference. 1
scorpio1978 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Your situation is entirely different than most. You had a break-up which sucks in its own right and realized you were betrayed by her AND you best friend. There is no timeline for that hurt, my friend. It's all on you. You have handled in remarkably well though except the alcohol. Indifference is your goal and you will get there, but you need to trudge through the swamps of sadness and then anger first. Look up the stages of grief to give you a better idea of psychologically how loss affects us. Get to the gym! Endorphins are helpful. I promise 1
Chi townD Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Dude, it's only been 2 months of NC. That's no time at all! Hell, it took me over a year to even START getting to the point of indifference. It's just going to take some time. Sucks, I know. But it is what it is. 1
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