Qwertylop Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Hello all new here. So a bit of background I ended a LTR relationship of two and a half years at the end of last year when I find out my ex was cheating on me. It sucks but I'm at the point I'm glad she is out of my life it was getting toxic towards the end. Anyway so I decided to try and get back on the dating horse. My friends In the past have talked about online dating they had tried specifically okcupid. So I made an account about 3 weeks ago. Wasn't really expecting anything as I've heard the horror stories of online dating. I was surprised when I ended up getting messaged by 12 women 2 days after creating the account and filling out my profile. None were really my type or had seriously cliche profiles which told me nothing about them other than "they were laid back outgoing liked to laugh, down to earth, bubbly and so forth". Then I received a message which piqued my interest it was a personalized negate rather than the "hi you seem interesting, what kind if stuff do you like?" messages. We ended up having lengthy discussions for the next few days I asked her out shortly after. First date was very low key. We went on Saturday for ice cream in the city as it was a nice day and we had both booked plans with friends in the evenings for Sat and Sunday. She ended up been 30 mins late but she had messaged me a few hours before hand saying she would be late. So I showed up casually late and only had to wait about 5 minutes for her to show up. She was profusely apologetic I told her it was fine. She paid for the ice cream because she felt bad. Anyway we talked for about an hour and a half, easy conversion no lulls. She was telling me about a hobby she enjoys and asked if I wanted to learn? I said sure thinking she meant some time in the future. Turns out the place she goes to is only a 5 min walk from where we were. So we go there and a bunch of her friends are there. I was taken a back to be honest, I've never been introduced to friends on a first date. So the date became a lot less formal at this point. It was fun still although a little stressful for me as I don't do so well meeting a ton of new people at once. We hanged out for about another 4 hours then I had to go so we started waking back to where we parked. Some of her friends came with us. Ending of the date was kind of awkward as her friends were still around. She gave me a hug and said she had a lot of fun and to contact her again if I would like to do it again. I sent her a message that evening saying I had fun and would like to do it again soon. She replied back saying she was worried for a second that I didn't have a good time. I explained I was just a bit nervous meeting so many new people but I had fun. Arranged to have dinner last night. We ended up talking for a little under 3 hours lots of laughs and flirting, plenty in common. We had both had pretty exhausting days at work so we decided to call it a night. She asked me where I parked and it was in a different direction to where I had parked. I said I would walk her to her car. So we started walking and suddenly she became quite cold and distant. Short replies and silences for the first time. She stopped and said "You don't have to walk me the rest of the way, I don't want you have to walk far back to your car". I said it didn't bother me and asked if she was sure. She said she was sure gave me a big hug and asked "I'll see you again soon?" I said "Sure, I'll talk to you soon". I was a little disappointed I wanted to kiss her but we were in the middle of a crowded side walk and I'm not good with PDAs I took her saying that she didn't want me walking her to her car as a sign she didn't want me to try anything so I didn't. I went home and passed out as I was exhausted from work. I haven't contacted her yet, I do really like her but I feel I'm getting mixed messages from her. Maybe she is just nervous or not ready yet? Trying to think of what to do for next date.... What do you guys think?
quidproquo89 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 interesting read that. It was unusual her inviting you out and then meeting friends, however from her point of view she thought it would be something fun to do. As for the last part, before acting could you do your best to not get too emotionally involved, It is so hard, or at least try and stay chilled, conversational and funny. Arrange another date with her if you can, make sure you don't pressurise her to meet you. Do something fun like bowling or something that way you can have fun and chat as well, whilst keeping it casual. Subtly look for signs as to whether she likes you. Take things slow and don't come across as desperate, that's important. Meet her, have fun, make her laugh be conversational and listen to what she says and come up with follow up questions. At the same time you can gauge how she feels about you. There's no hurry, just see how it goes and know that you are doing nothing wrong if he doesn't work. There will always be another girl, just do you best to remain upbeat and make the right moves. I hope this helps, good luck matey. Let us know how you get on
Author Qwertylop Posted March 21, 2014 Author Posted March 21, 2014 Well it looks like I was worrying about nothing. She messaged me in the morning the next day apologizing for acting like a "spazz" at the end of the date. That she didn't mean to send me mixed signals. I told her it was fine and there was nothing to apologize for. I asked her out for Sunday, going for lunch since it's a supposed to be a nice day and going for a walk in my cities botanical gardens as they have some events on this weekend. She invited me to go to an event the weekend after as well. So I think things are looking pretty good at the moment.
quidproquo89 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Well it looks like I was worrying about nothing. She messaged me in the morning the next day apologizing for acting like a "spazz" at the end of the date. That she didn't mean to send me mixed signals. I told her it was fine and there was nothing to apologize for. I asked her out for Sunday, going for lunch since it's a supposed to be a nice day and going for a walk in my cities botanical gardens as they have some events on this weekend. She invited me to go to an event the weekend after as well. So I think things are looking pretty good at the moment. nice I'm glad. So just have fun, light, conversational with humour. Try not to be too affectionate unless you know that's what she wants . Good luck matey, let me know how you get on
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