Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 So I'm looking for some guidance. I recently went through a BU for some of the stupidest reasons that I still don't or care to try understand. It was a short lived intense relationship and we seemed to get along really well so the BU was really unexpected. I got blamed for alot of stuff that many friends have told me was the absolute right thing to do during the relationship and in the "lingering" phase before the BU. (My ex told me that inviting her to a friends daughters bday party a couple weeks after we met made her uncomfortable....read my earlier posts if you want more details) Waht I'm trying to get at is, how do you regain your confidence after going through a BU where your SO places all the blame on you and treats you like a flaming bag of poo. I have no ambition to want to see my ex or hear her voice ever again, but I am finding myself to be very hesitant to either get back at it or repeat some of the same "mistakes". I repeatedly think about when I do meet a new girl, do I invite her to meet my friends and stuff like that. The relationship is over but the effects have shaken me. How do you regain the same confidence you once had in a situation liek this? I really felt like the things I/we did during our dumb relationship was things that normal people who are together actually do with one another (meet friends, try to talk to each other somewhat regularly, etc)
BradJacobs Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 The next girl isn't your ex. That's how you regain confidence. Have the strength to do what feels natural and right. 1
tlegend Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Confidence is a biproduct of your state of mind. Control your thoughts to exude only positivity and confidence will come.
L1ght Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Accept your failings, admit your mistakes, make genuine steps to improve those mistakes, remember all the good qualities you have that attracted her and all the other girls to you in the first place, be kind to yourself, believe in yourself, set standards, set goals, make sure the next woman you pursue is really into you otherwise she isn't worth it, keep your head up, keep strong. 1
Author Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 Accept your failings, admit your mistakes, make genuine steps to improve those mistakes, remember all the good qualities you have that attracted her and all the other girls to you in the first place, be kind to yourself, believe in yourself, set standards, set goals, make sure the next woman you pursue is really into you otherwise she isn't worth it, keep your head up, keep strong. I like this message. I've just had some doubts because I know in my heart and mind that I did the right things with this ex but the way she turned all of that "right" stuff in to "wrong" stuff really made me hesitant.
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