emotionsmessmeup Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 I know there isnt any hope... my bf of 5 years whom i broke off with couple of months ago yesterday said, I will never get back with u...coz it will be fine for a month and then it will be the same. You will never change I know it. whereas i kept crying and saying how can you give everything up ..what we had was so precious... and he said put the 5 years ina box and throw it away... he said there is no point asking for something he cant give..if i ask for his house, his car its different..but i cant get back with u.. I will never be back with you... there is no hope now..is there?
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted January 27, 2005 Author Posted January 27, 2005 and by never changing he means by irritating him by asking questins, being impatient, etc. etc.
zep52 Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 He may be saying these things to try and convince himself its over, however you cant sit around waiting for him to change his mind, get on as best you can with your life and let him see you are coping, this may then spark some change in his thinking, They say never take notice of what a woman says, but what she does, this is equally true of men, and quite often more so, hang in there sweetheart what ever the outcome time will draw a veil over the here and now and unveil a bright new future for us all, that you can put in the bank..
lovewilltearusapart Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 I know what you're going through, i've just been dumped by my gf of 4 and a half years, i thought that we might get back together (theres a thread somewhere detailing this) but i spoke to her again and she says she doesnt want to even have any contact with me ever again. I feel like my world has fallen apart, she was my best friend and further i only had a few friends many of whom will side with her because i did cheat on her (i feel so bad, was incredibly drunk, but i should have had some self control), so i now feel completely isolated. It must get better though, i dont know how, but it must , hugs.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted January 27, 2005 Author Posted January 27, 2005 no u dont how i feel.... and do u know why.... coz u did do something wrong.. I did nothign wrong.. I gave my 100% I was faithful to him My life centered around him.
theone44 Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup I know there isnt any hope... my bf of 5 years whom i broke off with couple of months ago yesterday said, I will never get back with u...coz it will be fine for a month and then it will be the same. You will never change I know it. whereas i kept crying and saying how can you give everything up ..what we had was so precious... and he said put the 5 years ina box and throw it away... he said there is no point asking for something he cant give..if i ask for his house, his car its different..but i cant get back with u.. I will never be back with you... there is no hope now..is there? What do you expect you broke it off with him,and you expect him to take you back that easy.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted January 27, 2005 Author Posted January 27, 2005 i didnt break it off with him..he broke it off with me..
theone44 Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup i didnt break it off with him..he broke it off with me.. oh ok......just leave him alone and move on. i found out the more u try to get someone back. the harder and further they become. Most people who do the dumping. get a thrill of watching thier exes sqirm trying to get them back. i wouldn't give him the time of day to make a fool of you. alway's have self-respect for youself first.
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 Hey, emotions, you have my deepest sympathy. I'm in the same boat right now and it SUCKS. My opinion is that there is a lot of hope, but you can't count on it. My advice is to go "No contact". Give your ex the time and space to think about it. As someone who has been both dumper and dumpee in the past, I do think this has the best chance of working. Basically: accept the situation, move on. I know it's tough, I'm doing it myself right now. But do your best to get on with your life. Give yourself a makeover, learn something new, become stronger and more confident. There's at least a 50/50 chance he'll just turn up out of the blue one day (3 months after end of contact is typical in my experience, but there are no rules). I've gone back to try a second chance with girls I dumped, and girls who dumped me have done it too. If you're strong, confident and getting on with your life it makes you more attractive when he does come back. And if he never turns up, then you haven't wasted your life waiting for him. Sorry. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but we have to be brave and take our medicine
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted January 27, 2005 Author Posted January 27, 2005 thanks y'all... He imed me today and said he was sorry..he didnt want to be an ass but he doesnt know how else to say NO. He said I hope u understand. I said I understand and it didnt matter anymore. nothing mattered anymore...and to forget it. thats all. meanwhile i am trying to move on and be ready to find the right guy. There are times when i become so weak though. but ill be fine...i know god has made me strong enough to face whatever he has in store for me..
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted January 27, 2005 Author Posted January 27, 2005 u know he even said he beyond the point where he can get back with me and try it all over again. GOD WHY DO I LET HIM HURT ME... I SHOULD NOT REMEMBER HIS WORDS.
lovewilltearusapart Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup no u dont how i feel.... and do u know why.... coz u did do something wrong.. I did nothign wrong.. I gave my 100% I was faithful to him My life centered around him. ok, i didnt mean to cause offence and im sorry if i did, but ... you dont know all the details of what happened to me so please dont judge me i feel bad enough as it is .... and my life did centre completely around her so i do sort of understand how it feels to be dumped, plus she didnt know about the cheating when she broke it off with me, she broke it off because she decided she no longer loved me, whereas i was still very much in love. She says she wants no contact what so ever with me and i am finding that the hardest thing to deal with. I hope it gets better for you, everyone i've spoken to has said that it will, but it right now that seems so far away.
imokurnot Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 But NC is the worst thing ever for me. My ex of 7 yrs dumped me for a guy and I saw her 3 times a week or talked to her on the phone, one or the other. It was much easier than NC for me. Now we are in NC and it is brutal. I could even send her off to her new boyfriends house and say drive carefully as I watched her drive off to spemnd the night at his house. With NC I have a hard time getting through the day. At least when I saw her I knew she was able to see me and the changes I was undertaking and the difference they were making in my life. This way she has no idea what I am doing and that is exactly the way she wants it. Too hard for her to see me, not the other way around. She was telling me she loved me and kissing me again finally and she just had to go NC because she said it hurt too much. NC is brutal and I wonder if it is any easier on her? I guess we will know in a week or two huh? You people that have gone months with NC are my hero's. I don't know that I could go that long if I had to. Unfortuantely I may have to and we will find out about my ability. This could get ugly .........
ReluctantRomeo Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 Well, Imokurnot, I guess that proves that there isn't a "one size fits all" approach to no contact. If it works for you, go for it. And I have to say that, although I am currently practising complete NC, I did also have a partial form where I don't contact her, but was open to her contacting me. Provided you can remain strong and confident and it's *her* that is finding it difficult to let *you* go... I blew it a bit on this count And hey, emotionsmessmeup, I know he is saying that it's 100% over right now, but if you give him time and space my own experience suggests that he is at least 80% likely to have strong regrets in a few months time. You can't wipe out 5 years in a month. No guarantees he'll come back of course, but I wouldn't get too hung up on everything he says right now - he'll be pretty emotional too. Stay away from him, let the emotions cool and give him the opportunity to remember all the good times you had together. God didn't design us with the emotional capacity to couple with someone then just move on without regrets - you're experiencing that right now, but he will at some time in the next few months, trust me.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted January 28, 2005 Author Posted January 28, 2005 MOST OF ALL i forgot to mention hwo stupid could i be..it was long distance !
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