moonlightpath Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months. At first I felt torn. I feel much better now. I'm starting to realize that our relationship wasn't for me. Moving on slowly I guess. Since my now "ex" and I share mutual friends his cousin and I text off and on. Last night he wanted to go out so I agreed and picked me up. First we went to grab a coffee. Then we went to an amusement park. We were on a ferris wheel, and next thing I know he had his arm around me. He offered me his jacket if I was cold. After that we went out for dinner. He paid even though I offered to at least pay for my part myself. Then on the way back to my university he reached over and put his hand on top of mine while he was driving. After we got to my dorm building I asked him if he wanted to come up to watch a movie. While we were watching the movie he held my hand again. I didn't shake him off or anything. i didn't want to make it awkward. Then he asked me what we were to each other. I told him I I'm still going through the break up. Then he said something like "So you're saying you want to be sad mourn before we become something? That doesn't make sense. I don't know why you would want to be sad!" I just feel really confused. I don't know how I feel about this because 1) This is my ex's first cousin 2) I haven't even been single for that long.
PegNosePete Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Well he clearly considered it a date. He put his arm round you, offered you his jacket, paid for your dinner, hand contact while driving and held hands during a movie. You were perfectly happy to do all of this, then you blew him off at the end. I think he is the more confused one in this story!
Author moonlightpath Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 I do kinda like him. But I feel guilty for liking him. I just feel as if i should be mourning my loss still. I don't want to sound like a bad person, but even when i was dating my ex I did feel a slight attraction towards this guy. But I never acted upon it. I always kept it to myself. I was also thinking that he is just tying to manipulate me since I am at a vulnerable state right now. I kept thinking that maybe all he wants is sex. But this guy is super attractive and confident. He could defiantly get a girl to have sex with him without having to buy her dinner, taking her on a date to an amusement park...etc. I don't think he is just trying to use me. He knows I'm not easy. I already made that very clear to him. Its not that I don't want to be in a relationship with him. I just feel like I shouldn't because he is my ex boyfriend's cousin. He really wants to be exclusive with me. He came over to see me last night. I told him how I felt about him being related to my ex. He said he understood completely and to take as much time as I need to to get to know him better before I make a decision. He made it clear that he isn't driving from his place all the way to my school just to try and have sex with me.He said he wouldn't spend that much time just to try to get sex. After that kissed me and we made out a little bit. I felt a little guilty but at the same time it felt so right. It was exiting. Fun. I can't remember the last time I felt that was kissing someone. Before my ex and I broke up we would of course kiss but it didn't feel the same. It felt boring now that I really think about it.
Gaeta Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Then he said something like "So you're saying you want to be sad mourn before we become something? That doesn't make sense. I don't know why you would want to be sad!" That to me screams arrogant manipulative and insensitive. Instead of inquiring on how you are doing he is TELLING YOU how you should feel. I don't see a lot of respect or consideration in this, I just see a guy who's in it for himself.
TXGuy Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 If things work out with your new guy, can I come to thanksgiving to watch? Opinions may differ on this, but I'm in the camp of not dating relatives of an ex. As tacky as it is for you to do it, the real sleaze is the guy cousin. That just goes against the code. Everything above assumes the cousins are somewhat close. I assume that is the case as that appears to be how you met him. If the three of you had know each other from childhood it would be less creepy, but still creepy. Also, if this was years after the breakup, less creepy. But days/weeks, very creepy.
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