pizzanova Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Originally posted by lost_in_chgo It's not that he's at home, it's that he'ss not working or saving Yeah, she was erroneous in thinking that his being at home at the age of 20 was the problem. That has nothing to do with it. It's his lack of motivation. Would she have preferred if he were living on welfare in subsidized housing? At least by living at home, he's comfortable and carefree. His laziness is just unfortunate (although I know PLENTY of lazy guys...he's definitely not too old to change though...in fact many, MANY guys his age are probably just like him).
Author simplybrill Posted April 21, 2005 Author Posted April 21, 2005 His laziness was, and still remains to be a problem. His lack of motivation made me break things off. I left home at 18 not because I got kicked out, or because of problems at home...but because I could, took advantage of a great opportunity to live, study and work independent of my family. Leaving home at 18 is not totally unheard of folks. He was definitely soaking it up and taking advantage of the situation. He remains to this day, doing the bare minimum in his life to get by. I stand behind my decision. Of course I dont want him to be dirt poor and move out "just to move out." He should move out when he's ready financially, emotionally, etc. The problem is that he's not doing anything to make this happen. It's like his life is in a time capsule. He's living like he's 16. If you live at home, and are highly motivated to make your life better, cheers. But my point was- that this guy wasn't . He's all talk no action and although I definitely sympathize, lost_in_chgo -Im glad I avoided this kind of situation as well: My ex's, ex husband is back with his mother, the super enabler, so not only does he not pay rent, or cook or clean, but he also doesn't work much and doesn't pay child support. It's gotten so bad that last I heard there was a bench warrant out on him for child support.
followingthru Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 i lived at home till i was 24, as did many of my male friends. sometimes it just works better for various reasons. not everyone can afford to live on their own right away w/o giving up things that are important to them. so, if you don't like his mom, just don't go over to his house.
blind_otter Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 It's a deal-breaker for me. This is (NOW) one of the first things I ask dudes when I meet them. If they live at home with mommy then I don't have to hang out with them. They can hook up with someone else. My exBF lived with Mommy. His Mommy turned out to be just as psychotic as him. It wa slike Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I lived in a one bedroom efficiency with no heat to avoid living at home. Hell, I even lived out of my car for 3 months when I was like 19. So I have different priorities. I would rather be living out of my frikking car, then at home with my parents. Ick.
faux Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 I am twenty-two and still live with my father and sister in the house I grew up in. Mostly this is because I am going to college, and and cheapest places available around here are about $500 a month. It is a miracle if a person can actually find anything for just over $500 in my area, and that price per month usually provides only one bedroom, a bathroom, and a tiny little kitchen/living room area, if you're lucky. Anything remotely decent is at least $1,000 a month. I don't know how those people who work 40 hour weeks and go to college manage anything, but I am not one of those people. I want to focus on my education and not overwork myself so I can eat one sandwich a week and move out.
Author simplybrill Posted April 21, 2005 Author Posted April 21, 2005 $500-$1000 a month Faux! That's insane. It's now a deal breaker for me too, and one of my first questions as well. 1. Are you in college/out of college? 2.Do you still live at home? 3. Do you drink/smoke? 4. Are you over your ex gf...and so on.
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