Locust Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 I haven't been on here in a while and I really done some thinking given that I'm almost 28 years old and never dated I think its time for me to get into dating. But I have fear my level of inexperience of relationships and what to do and how to reach intimacy is zero. I always hope that I have a girl approach me well it really never happen, I only did it because I'm afraid her looking at me weird because she sees a guy with some Indian mixture background. Or being rejected and feel like an ass. I had some girls approach me but it was because she needed a favor. I tried few times to ask a girl out but deep inside I knew I was never direct about it because I felt really nervous, you know the knot feeling your stomach from being nervous. I don't know how to be direct and let her know I want this to be a date for a potential relationship and not a friendship. I have few female friends and I want one who is my romantic partner. I look at myself like how am I going to achieve that. Here are some problems: 1.) I go to school with one semester left and I find it all the years difficult to meet someone in class but maybes its me making it hard. The hard part is just starting up a conversation. 2.) My conversations tend to be short I have a hard time thinking of saying something interested. Maybe I try too hard. 3.) I don't know when its right to do the next thing. For example, when is it right to ask for her number, date and even kiss if on a date, would it be okay to hold hands. I live in this world where I'm afraid to be wrong, lets say I try to hold her hand but then she pulls away then I will feel bad like I did something wrong. I know these have happen and happen to me. 4.) I don't know how to read women body language signals. Any suggestions. Do I sound like I have lot of hangups? Or am I just overthinking and making it harder than it appears? Hopefully I get both genders to answer this one.
Chalkdust89 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 When I graduated college and was nervous about applying for jobs (for fear of rejection), my parents told me, "The worst they can say is no, and you DEFINITELY won't get any jobs if you don't apply ANYWHERE". The same is true for dating. The worst a girl could say is she's not interested. And if she's not interested, who cares? You have one semester of school left and there is a perfectly good chance that you'll never see her again. The best way to guarantee not getting any dates is to not even try. Also, don't be embarrassed of your heritage. Be proud of it!
Assasda Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Everyone started somewhere man. Everyone had to start from zero, so dont get down on yourself. You just want to be confident. You must know that deep down, when this girl knows you, that you will improve her life. Go into the relationship selflessly. 1. Its hard in class, but ask open ended questions to girls, like "Why do you like this subject?" or "Oh you went to france, Tell me about it", just be interested and ready to learn, ABOUT EVERYONE 2. see above 3. Think of a person like James Bond. Would James Bond, what would James Bond do in that situation. Be James Bond. And if the girl pulls away if you try to hold her hand, it just means, she's not ready YET. It doesnt mean that she wont be ready, a few hours later, or a few days later, when you let that bother you, you seem needy and it becomes even worse. Then and only then, you turn the girl off. 4. Be James Bond, and just trust your instincts
Lyn77 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Practice! Maybe join a gym, local club, take lessons on something you're interested in.. Buy some nice stylish clothes and get your hair styled. Think positive thoughts about the kind of girl you are looking for. Ask Friends to hook you up. Don't be afraid to start conversations in public, you never know! It's ok to have short convos, even if you just give a girl a sincere compliment, it really works! plus it helps build your confidence. Eating healthy, working out and taking care of yourself are the best ways to build confidence. Good luck & have fun!!
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