Supes Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 I have been on 3 amazing dates with a girl. I'm just back from the 3rd and I think I'm really beginning to fall for her. I was a bit more open to her today during our date. I had my guard up for a while after a previous relationship but I think tonight I let my feelings show (Show, not tell) - I never said anything specifically but in retrospect I think she has a good idea that I'm really beginning to fall for her. She is still playing it a little cool. I was wondering is the 3rd date too soon to let your defenses down? Should I try take a step back over the next few days or should I let my feelings show? What is recommended?
Gaeta Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Yes way too soon. Most new meet don't make it pass 3 dates. You sound extremely happy but she may not share your enthusiasm, especially you said she is still playing it cool. Well, you view it as playing cool but in reality maybe she is not as infatuated as you are. If you make it to 5-6 dates then start relaxing but letting your guards down I would wait 6 months. 1
Author Supes Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 Since posting this she sent a text to tell me she had a great time and we've set up a 4th date for next week. 6 months sounds excessive to me. When I say I'm falling for her it doesnt mean I'm in love, just that I'm letting her into my life and find myself liking and trusting her. I had a bad time with this in a previous relationship and my first 3 dates with this girl I was a little more closed off. This changed tonight though...
AliOop Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Hi Supes - if you've made it happily through the third date, you're doing something right! Many don't get that far. As a woman, I can tell you that we are often afraid to show too much too soon - every single piece of advice we get literally hollers "Chill! You'll scare him if you show you're interested too soon!" Give her the signals that it's okay to relax with you, just hang back and let it flow as you do. Best of luck! 1
TheKook Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Don't let your guard down for a few months, trust me. Maybe even longer than that. Letting my guard down has caused me a lot of pain in the past. It's kind of ****ed up we have to play it defensively like this, but that's the world we live in. Better safe than sorry.
Gaeta Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Since posting this she sent a text to tell me she had a great time and we've set up a 4th date for next week. 6 months sounds excessive to me. When I say I'm falling for her it doesnt mean I'm in love, just that I'm letting her into my life and find myself liking and trusting her. I had a bad time with this in a previous relationship and my first 3 dates with this girl I was a little more closed off. This changed tonight though... I am very happy to hear that. Take it cool, new relationship can abort at any time, 1 month, 3 month and 6 month. Stay in the *getting to know her* phase. Don't jump the gun with inviting her to your parents on Sunday dinner, you know what I mean? 1
Assasda Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 OP sounds like its going great. Yeah, you should be able to let your guard down a little bit, but like you sad (Show not Tell). Anything that youre feeling for her, I'm sure you can show her, and I'm sure that she'll see it all over your face. There's also a good sense of mystery when few words are being spoken. Cranks up that tension. heheh Good Luck
d0nnivain Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Wow. I must be very different from most people. If you have to have your guard up around somebody you are dating, why date them? I'm not saying pour your heart out & declare your love 5 minutes into the 1st date but so attend the date with walls up seems counter productive to me. I don't think somebody is ready to date if they are going in with the mindset that the other person is out to hurt them.
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