Mpls2787 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Hey everyone, I was hoping I could pick your brain and get a little bit of advice. I work as a server at a fine dining restaurant and over the past few months I've been hanging out with one of my co-workers. I'm 27 and he's 30. We've gone out to lunch and dinner, movies, and coffee alone and have mildly flirted but we haven't kissed, held hands, or slept together. Anywho, after a few months of doing this I came to conclusion that I would like to pursue something more with him. So, when he invited me over to his house a couple of weeks ago to watch the Oscars I told him how I felt while we were sitting on his couch. He said he was also thinking about us, but wanted to take things slow. We then proceeded to kiss and then I went home shortly after that. About 20 minutes later he txt'd me and thanked me for coming over and asked if I wanted to talk later that week. I said yes. I waited a few days to txt him and then txt'd him and asked if he wanted to grab coffee on Sunday. He said yes, but then when Sunday rolled around he asked if we could do Monday instead because of an unexpected meeting that came up at work. I said sure. Then when Monday rolled around he said that he had promised his roommate that they would cook dinner together that night and said he would txt me later and see what I was up to. He never did. This isn't my first rodeo, so I took it as a sign that he wasn't interested and I just let it go. Well a few days went by and then he txt'd me on Thursday morning and asked if I would like to get together the following week and apologized for not getting together this week. I said that sounded good. Well about 5 or 6 days have gone by and now he's acting kind of distant around me at work. I asked him if he wanted to get together tonight and he said "yes, let's go see a movie." I asked if he wanted to grab dinner or coffee before or after the movie and he said he's not hungry and doesn't want to drink any coffee since he's getting up early tomorrow. I still really want to talk about everything with him and see where we stand and a movie theater isn't really an ideal place to do it. Should I txt him and tell him that I still want to talk about things? Do you think it would be a good idea to try and hold his hand during the movie? He's a really hard guy to read and I know nothing is certain but I would really love to some advice on this situation. Thanks guys and sorry that this post ended up being so long!
Versacehottie Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Well ok all is not lost. He's stalling obviously. He likes you but not sure if he wants to go forward (and i would bet the reason why is because there is a talk involved). You need to flip it. Be your wonderful self when you are around him and don't act phased (or is it fazed?) but let him make the next move or bring up talking again. That is pressure on guys!!! Even if he meant it at time it was mentioned: a talk implies that everything will either be black or white; totally committed or decide to not date which means losing the friendship to him. See even typing it is sounds scary & heavy. Just enjoy what you have. You were headed the right direction. Act like everything is fine and ooops you forgot about the talk. good luck
Assasda Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Dont have any "talks" with him. Its too much pressure too early. Its sabotaging yourself really. What you guys need to be doing is having fun and nothing more. See the movie, then you 2 can have something to talk about about, but dont get too official in his life. Give him some time, to seehow awesome you are. Send him things that you think might be funny, and just give him a chance to express himself, without pressure
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