iDrumKing Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 What percentage of couples would you say are still together just because they're scared of the BU? I can't tell you how many people I know personally know that are in relationships that they don't want to be in, but are scared to BU. They were scared to be alone, so they settle knowing all and well that the two weren't meant for each other. Any stories of your own?
KaliLove Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I'd imagine a fair few couples stay together out of habit rather than love. Until very recently, I was still seeing my ex even though I know there's no future for us. I still love him but he has serious issues and will not get help for them. I was his doormat. I've finally broken away and yes, I'm sad, but I know it's for the best.
Sandy99 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I've had a few friends (women) tell me that one of the reasons they got married was for financial security. I've had friends tell me that love isn't the most important thing in finding a marriage partner. They say you need to find somebody who won't leave you. I've heard a lot of strange things. Yet, all these people are still married. So, yes, I imagine that people are staying with partners for a lot of practical reasons.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 I've had a few friends (women) tell me that one of the reasons they got married was for financial security. I've had friends tell me that love isn't the most important thing in finding a marriage partner. They say you need to find somebody who won't leave you. I've heard a lot of strange things. Yet, all these people are still married. So, yes, I imagine that people are staying with partners for a lot of practical reasons. I can see "practicality" but I would hate to rob myself and my partner of passion and love... ya know? 1
Sandy99 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Even though these friends say these things about their marriage partners, I can see compatibility between them and their husbands, so I think there is something there no matter what. I don't think for a few of them there is passion and love from the women's side, but maybe from the husband's side. I actually feel a little sorry for the ones who got married for financial security (and I'm sure a bit of love and compatibility too) because they worked hard in school and got really good degrees and then sort of decided that being married and being taken care of was better. I think they got scared of trying to make it on their own and they had men there ready to give them the life of luxury (or at least financial security). I am sure they could have had really amazing careers if they had been broken up with and had to survive on their own. So, being dumped might not have been such a bad thing for them.
mukkrakker Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Are they partners, married, do they have kids, a mortgage, car payments, do they own a business together, are they ultra religious, what's their ethnicity, cultural morés, do they eat together, do they go out together, do they go on holiday together, do they have pets, do they have sex (with each other not with the pets, although…) Oh, you wanted a black and white, not based on reality answer. I don't know. Why, need an excuse? I don't think statistics are gonna help. 1
central Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 The vast majority of non-marriage relationships don't last, and about half of marriages fail. Of the marriages that last, I'd say at least half aren't happy and would like to break up, but don't largely because of fear of starting over and maybe doing no better.
Author iDrumKing Posted March 19, 2014 Author Posted March 19, 2014 True. I see where your coming from
dragon_fly_7 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 (edited) What percentage of couples would you say are still together just because they're scared of the BU?I think many stay out of convenience and not love nowadays, settling for less and compromising too much. Personally I'm not scared of the BU. I'd rather stay single (there is nothing wrong with that) than compromise my values for the hell off being in a relationship. That's no life at all. A perfect example would be by looking at all the cheating and infidelity threads here. At some point I'm sure there was no ''in love'' feelings anymore but rather an ''I still enjoy his/her company''. Edited March 19, 2014 by dragon_fly_7
DorkBreakfast Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Judging by what I've personally seen, I'd say most stay together for just about every other reason other than actually liking the person. More often than not, the people I know stay together because if they separate, they lose the money brought in to pay the bills.
ponchsox Posted March 22, 2014 Posted March 22, 2014 I hung around a little longer than I should of my last relationship. I was unhappy, knew we would never get married, but the amazing physical chemistry kept us together until it just wasn't worth it.
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