youcanever Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) I've had an unusual date with this girl last tuesday. It was unusual because there were no movie, no drink, no nice place to sit down and talk. It was a protest agaisnt government and we attended it. It is a nice memory that I will remember and smile in future. Anyway, I liked her, and I don't know if she liked me or even slightly interested in me. When we said goodbye we decided we will have another date. The thing is, I always hit her a text every 1-2 days. Like 2-3 mins text convo and that's all. It has been one week and she initiated nothing. Yesterday was her BD and I wanted to see her for 5-10 mins. She said okay 3 days ago. Then when she figured out that I am coming to see her after I get out of work, she kind of acted weird and told "I thought you were around here that time, I wouldn't want to disturb you to come all over here". I told her "I wanted to see you, doesn't matter". Anyway, then she replied my text very late and I got a lil pissed off ofcourse. I was going to be on road for 2.5 hours just to see her on her bd and she act like this? I wrote her a text saying "If I am smothering you and acting weird I am sorry it has been 1.5 years that I've met someone I am kind of interested in. Do you remember I told you on our first date that if I like you and if you prefer me in your life only as a friend, then I would get out of your life. So, I want to know what do you think about that? oh and btw, I couldn't celebrate you face to face but, happy birthday!" Then she replied, "I am so sorry, my plans are all messed up, also my internet package is almost over, hope you are not offended. I hope to see you soon, and thank you very much for celebrating my bd" Then I wrote one last time (lastnight) "I still didn't get any comment about my question." No replies. I pissed off. I deleted our conversation. Deleted her number so I won't contact her. Unfollowed on facebook, I will never know what she is doing unless I check it out. So, that is my decision. I am enough chasing after her. I don't want to hear "girls like to be chased, man should chase" thing. I don't believe it because all my gfs gave effort as much as I did and it was lovely experience even though they ended. It is obvious she is not interested in me. If she really wants she has my number and she can contact me. I am going NC. What do you think? Edited March 18, 2014 by youcanever
Gaeta Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I think it's obvious she is not interested in you and you should move on. 4
slizl Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Sounds pretty creeper to me. You were going to drive 2.5 hours to see her for 10 minutes? She obviously isn't that into you. 6
slizl Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Sounds pretty creeper to me. You were going to drive 2.5 hours to see her for 10 minutes? She obviously isn't that into you. And that text that you sent her...CREEPER level 1000.. And dude, she is going NC with you, not the other way around 4
pickflicker Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I think you don't understand what NC means. I also think you acted like a child, and if a man acted in this fashion with me, I wouldn't want to go on a second date either. Oh...And you're the guy. Like it or not, dating conventions are still fairly traditional. The dating advice out there written by men, for women, states that the guy needs to set up the next date. So don't expect a woman to not adhere to this kind of thinking. Always assume that you need to make the move. So essentially, you blew it. And you're now acting like a child. It's unsurprising that she isn't interested. 1
BlueIris Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I think you overreacted and still are. But don't contact her. I agree with the posters above that driving so far for a 10 minute meeting is over the top.
Author youcanever Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) I am sorry but I think you are wrong about "creep" and "traditional dating" thing. Nothing is traditional anymore, even girls chase guys, and if things were as same as before, there wouldn't be as much as sluts as now. Girls just hop from one guy to another. And about creep thing. I just wanted to do whatever I wanted to do. I really wanted to see her because I thought it would be thoughtful. If you people think it is creepy, you are "traditional boring" fellows. I love doing unpredictable things, I love doing what I like and if someone doesn't like what I do, goodbye. My gfs loved my "not a single f given" attitute and act as I wanted regardless if it is right or wrong. So, this girl prefered something traditional. So, she is not my type. That is the lesson learned. Not that she is on NC with me (which is ridicuolus mate), or it was creepy. Right society mindset really string you like a muppet fellows. I am sorry for you. Live with your mediocre thoughts and lifestyle. Edited March 18, 2014 by youcanever 1
pickflicker Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) I am sorry but I think you are wrong about "creep" and "traditional dating" thing. Nothing is traditional anymore, even girls chase guys, and if things were as same as before, there wouldn't be as much as sluts as now. Girls just hop from one guy to another. And about creep thing. I just wanted to do whatever I wanted to do. I really wanted to see her because I thought it would be thoughtful. If you people think it is creepy, you are "traditional boring" fellows. I love doing unpredictable things, I love doing what I like and if someone doesn't like what I do, goodbye. My gfs loved my "not a single f given" attitute and act as I wanted regardless if it is right or wrong. So, this girl prefered something traditional. So, she is not my type. That is the lesson learned. Not that she is on NC with me (which is ridicuolus mate), or it was creepy. Right society mindset really string you like a muppet fellows. I am sorry for you. Live with your mediocre thoughts and lifestyle. You attempted to manipulate her and she beat you at your own game. She made you look like a fool. I'm really not wrong. But by all means, attempt to prove it. Good luck. Edited March 18, 2014 by pickflicker
Author youcanever Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 You attempted to manipulate her and she beat you at your own game. She made you look like a fool. I'm really not wrong. But by all means, attempt to prove it. Good luck. Wow. I attempted to manipulate her? I was driving 2.5 hours to see her, how is that manipulation Second, she beat me at my "own game"? I hate games, I was being whiteknight, I was nice, I was doing what I feel. I was zero game. And fool? No, she lost a perfect guy who would treat her amazing and would love her. I did my best, and I did what I felt right, there is no loss for me. Oh and, will you edit your text one more time to spill out your bitterness towards my truth and try to make me "bad" ? do that. I like the way your "brain" works.
pickflicker Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Wow. I attempted to manipulate her? I was driving 2.5 hours to see her, how is that manipulation Second, she beat me at my "own game"? I hate games, I was being whiteknight, I was nice, I was doing what I feel. I was zero game. And fool? No, she lost a perfect guy who would treat her amazing and would love her. I did my best, and I did what I felt right, there is no loss for me. Oh and, will you edit your text one more time to spill out your bitterness towards my truth and try to make me "bad" ? do that. I like the way your "brain" works. She told you she had a nice time and that she's like to go out again. Why did you not call her up for the next date? You attempted to manipulate her into making the move by not texting her. That's not how it works. It's a big red flag when someone calls themselves "perfect", btw. Not bitter. Just clever. I know how dating works, that's all. 2
GemmaUK Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Wow. I attempted to manipulate her? I was driving 2.5 hours to see her, how is that manipulation Second, she beat me at my "own game"? I hate games, I was being whiteknight, I was nice, I was doing what I feel. I was zero game. And fool? No, she lost a perfect guy who would treat her amazing and would love her. I did my best, and I did what I felt right, there is no loss for me. All of the above that you mention here are actually pretty typical signs of a potentially abusive male. I am sure that you are not that and these behaviours are normal/common for you in relationships ..but be aware that they are over the top for most people and can be misconstrued as behaviour patterns that are the beginning of something not good. I am guessing this kind of thing is the norm for you that you would drive that far for 10 minutes meet up with anyone you were dating?
Author youcanever Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 She told you she had a nice time and that she's like to go out again. Why did you not call her up for the next date? You attempted to manipulate her into making the move by not texting her. That's not how it works. It's a big red flag when someone calls themselves "perfect", btw. Not bitter. Just clever. I know how dating works, that's all. It is obvious that you dont. Traditional dating? Girls have one night stands, ever heard of it? Girls ask guy out. My previous gf set everything up, she loved doing it, even she asked me out which was pretty sexy. Traditional lifestyle is for mediocre mindsets, get over it. Oh this guy is driving 2.5 hours to see a girl for 10 mins? He must.be desperate and creepy. Lol no, i was free that.evening and it was her bd and i thought it would be a nice gesture, some girls would love it, but she is not some girl. Everyone is different but i am me, same. Btw, too much self-love is not a big red flag. It is a huge red flag. That is why i love myself and i am out of tradition and loving it. Dont get me wrong, i am not mad at you. Opposite, i love debating different ideas but have to wake up 5 hours later and go to work. NC is on. Girl dismissed. Next!
Author youcanever Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 She told you she had a nice time and that she's like to go out again. Why did you not call her up for the next date? You attempted to manipulate her into making the move by not texting her. That's not how it works. It's a big red flag when someone calls themselves "perfect", btw. Not bitter. Just clever. I know how dating works, that's all. Btw,.join date december 2013, and almost 2000 posts in 3.5 months. You live on this forum mate. You read people's.stories and think you know dating. Have no idea about real experience or spicing things up or trying something different. My last comment on you. And my honest advice. Read 2 post.below and take an example of how a advice post is written. You had 2k but learnt nothing. Peace 1
Author youcanever Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 All of the above that you mention here are actually pretty typical signs of a potentially abusive male. I am sure that you are not that and these behaviours are normal/common for you in relationships ..but be aware that they are over the top for most people and can be misconstrued as behaviour patterns that are the beginning of something not good. I am guessing this kind of thing is the norm for you that you would drive that far for 10 minutes meet up with anyone you were dating? Gemma, i had 2.5 years ldr. Had to fly to see my girl, so yea 2.5 driving in same city to see a girl i am interested in is not a biggie She is just not a girl to appreciate it, that is the only output of this action. I wont change myself, i love outer space pf traditional thinking and trying new.things. Cheers on your comment. Appreciated.
pickflicker Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Btw,.join date december 2013, and almost 2000 posts in 3.5 months. You live on this forum mate. You read people's.stories and think you know dating. Have no idea about real experience or spicing things up or trying something different. My last comment on you. And my honest advice. Read 2 post.below and take an example of how a advice post is written. You had 2k but learnt nothing. Peace You realise you're having quite the overreaction to a differing opinion, right? Perhaps this girl saw that you can't seem to control yourself when things don't go your way? But I'm certain that she was made very uncomfortable by your presumptuous drive to her location. After 1 date. I can assure you, that whilst that is cute in movies, it makes people very uncomfortable in real life.
kaylan Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) Btw,.join date december 2013, and almost 2000 posts in 3.5 months. You live on this forum mate. You read people's.stories and think you know dating. Have no idea about real experience or spicing things up or trying something different. My last comment on you. And my honest advice. Read 2 post.below and take an example of how a advice post is written. You had 2k but learnt nothing. Peace You know someone is beat when they start attacking another posters post count. Sorry OP but you failed, you didn't take smart initiative, and you came off as creepy. If I just met a girl and went on one date, I really wouldn't want her just showing up in my locale and traveling long distances to do so. I have other things going on and thats a bit much after one not so romantic date. Edited March 18, 2014 by kaylan 4
pickflicker Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 you know someone is beat when they start attacking another posters post count. sorry OP but you failed, you didn't take smart initiative, and you came off as creepy Thank you for the kind words.
Phantom888 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 How was that protest considered a "date"? It's like I invite a girl to help me make a poster for my booth at the county fair. Is that a date too? 1
Phantom888 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I am sorry but I think you are wrong about "creep" and "traditional dating" thing. Nothing is traditional anymore, even girls chase guys, and if things were as same as before, there wouldn't be as much as sluts as now. Girls just hop from one guy to another. And about creep thing. I just wanted to do whatever I wanted to do. I really wanted to see her because I thought it would be thoughtful. If you people think it is creepy, you are "traditional boring" fellows. I love doing unpredictable things, I love doing what I like and if someone doesn't like what I do, goodbye. My gfs loved my "not a single f given" attitute and act as I wanted regardless if it is right or wrong. So, this girl prefered something traditional. So, she is not my type. That is the lesson learned. Not that she is on NC with me (which is ridicuolus mate), or it was creepy. Right society mindset really string you like a muppet fellows. I am sorry for you. Live with your mediocre thoughts and lifestyle. It's one thing to be "F the Man" and "Hell with Traditions", but it's something else to be creepy, clingy and messed up. How is a girl supposed to act when you are so confrontational? I mean, a lot of girls like aggressive, assertive men, but you also have to show class and finesse. You sound like you are 18, so I wont be so hard with my words. It's expected for 18 year olds to act like a child, because biologically they are children. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
RoseMadder Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 So let me get this straight - You went on a casual date to a political protest. During said FIRST date you told her that she needed to decide if you were going to be in a relationship and if not you'd leave her alone. She said she was interested in a second date but neither of you actually planned anything. You've initiated loads of text conversations but she's initiated none. When you told her you were driving down to see her on her bday she wasn't that excited. She blew you off when she realised you were actually coming to see her. You response to her indifference was to send an angry text reminding her that you TOLD her on your FIRST, CASUAL date that she had to make a quick decision about whether she wanted to be with you or not . She apologised. You send another snide text. She didn't reply. She just wasn't into you, you probably freaked her out by coming on so strong, most women I know would find your behaviour 'stalkerish' or 'creepy.' Your aggressive attitude to the women here show she was probably right to go NC on you. I don't see how you can say YOU went NC, she stopped contacting you first and hasn't contacted you since. That's the definition of NC. 2
pickflicker Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 It's one thing to be "F the Man" and "Hell with Traditions", but it's something else to be creepy, clingy and messed up. How is a girl supposed to act when you are so confrontational? I mean, a lot of girls like aggressive, assertive men, but you also have to show class and finesse. You sound like you are 18, so I wont be so hard with my words. It's expected for 18 year olds to act like a child, because biologically they are children. Learn from your mistakes and move on. I'd replace the word "aggressive" with "assertive", but the rest is cool.
Do_The_Herp Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 The whole drive for 2.5 hours thing is a bit crazy to me.. Forget about the creep factor. Let's say that it isn't creepy. It's still a hell of a lot of investment in someone you don't know.. Long distance **** is not ideal in any way, unless one of you is moving closer to the other in the not so distant future. The thing that I don't understand is the whole 2.5 hours thing.. That just kills your overall case, sorry. 2
BlueIris Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I second all of what RoseMadder said. OP, you’re not a perfect guy. You sound rash and hot tempered, getting your knickers in a twist about not getting attention for planning a 10-minute second date. Bottom line is… it was HER birthday so the day should have been about her, not about you. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 She actually went NC on you, not the other way around. But any way... Nobody ever really took initiative to plan something resembling a real date. Sounds like she lost interest and never got it back. You got upset when she didn't respond in kind to your driving to see her. I don't think she's sweating this, and neither should you. Chalk it up to experience and move on.
Recommended Posts