maestrok Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 OK he has been staring at me for months but never came up to talk to me. He'd make efforts to be around me and always be where I could notice him, but that was it. So last week, I walked up to him and said hi first. We had a very short conversation as I had to leave. He then told me that he's been wanting to talk to me. So I even offered to give him my phone number and said that we should hang. He said he'd like to. But that's it. Again, he just keep on glancing. But he won't ask me out. Now it's getting pretty annoying. I think I've made more than enough efforts and did all the difficult works? Would appreciate any and all perspectives or advices on this situation. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Get him outta your head. He is too much hard work. I've been there..got the t-shirt! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author maestrok Posted March 18, 2014 Author Share Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) Get him outta your head. He is too much hard work. I've been there..got the t-shirt! But why would he act like that? For months? really? I mean is he even really interested? (which I thought so because he did this for MONTHS but all confused now) Edited March 18, 2014 by maestrok Link to post Share on other sites
greenman77 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 He's interested but he seems to be really really shy. Trust me, I can tell you from experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maestrok Posted March 18, 2014 Author Share Posted March 18, 2014 He's interested but he seems to be really really shy. Trust me, I can tell you from experience. That's what I thought at first. Then I've seen him publicly canoodling girls at parties so now I don't think he can be THAT shy. Even if he were very shy, I even gave him my number without him asking, is texting/talking still that hard when I basically told him in his face that I am interested, hence eliminating fear of rejection? Link to post Share on other sites
greenman77 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 That's what I thought at first. Then I've seen him publicly canoodling girls at parties so now I don't think he can be THAT shy. Even if he were very shy, I even gave him my number without him asking, is texting/talking still that hard when I basically told him in his face that I am interested, hence eliminating fear of rejection? In that case then it seems like he might not interested or as you say, fear or rejection. Only way to find out is to talk to him I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 That's what I thought at first. Then I've seen him publicly canoodling girls at parties so now I don't think he can be THAT shy. Even if he were very shy, I even gave him my number without him asking, is texting/talking still that hard when I basically told him in his face that I am interested, hence eliminating fear of rejection? He is fascinated by you. It doesn't mean he wants to date you. Actions speak louder than words but if he never asked you out and did take you out then he is just fascinated. It's not love or even lust. Just fascination. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OJ loved Nicole Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 But why would he act like that? For months? really? I mean is he even really interested? (which I thought so because he did this for MONTHS but all confused now) No, he's not interested. Why he stares... because you provide him with his daily ego boost. He notices you noticing him staring... (did that even make sense). You want this guy to talk to you? Don't look at him for 1 week. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maestrok Posted March 20, 2014 Author Share Posted March 20, 2014 No, he's not interested. Why he stares... because you provide him with his daily ego boost. He notices you noticing him staring... (did that even make sense). You want this guy to talk to you? Don't look at him for 1 week. I mean he would say hi first when he walks into me. OK. Here is my follow-up question. Should I give him a benefit of doubt and text him first to suggest hanging out this weekend? Or don't do it? (Not necessarily dating but I want to get to know him still, although given what has happened, me suggesting to hang out would seem more like asking out for a date..) Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I mean he would say hi first when he walks into me. OK. Here is my follow-up question. Should I give him a benefit of doubt and text him first to suggest hanging out this weekend? Or don't do it? (Not necessarily dating but I want to get to know him still, although given what has happened, me suggesting to hang out would seem more like asking out for a date..) If you really like him and you are OK with getting a 'no thanks' or no reply then yep. Text him. If you know whereabouts he hangs out and you can say you'll be in that area for 'xyz' it'll make it feel more comfortable. Or, ask him out for something you are going to with friends. I asked my LTR man out for a first date by inviting him to a karaoke that e and two female friends were going to - he said he liked karaoke. He then told me that he was playing badminton that night and probbaly wouldn't be able to get a lift to the bar (in the sticks and he didn't drive at that time) we were going to. I didn't think he would come and he was being polite in order to get out of it. Me and my friends went there and got a table. They knew he 'might' come. Then a guy walked in the door with a sports bag, dressed in sports gear..and I didn't see him. They went 'Hes here!!!' They didn't even know what he looked like! But it was him...and he had packed a shirt and jeans for his night out with me..which he went to change into before he came and found me. I was well happy! Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I mean he would say hi first when he walks into me. OK. Here is my follow-up question. Should I give him a benefit of doubt and text him first to suggest hanging out this weekend? Or don't do it? (Not necessarily dating but I want to get to know him still, although given what has happened, me suggesting to hang out would seem more like asking out for a date..) you should leave him alone. women just don't get that men are not shy, really, they are not, when they see what they like they know how to get it, even in a shy way. if they are 'shy' it's because they are not that interested in wasting their efforts on you. you have already said he goes up to others, so he is just content to look at you. if you pursue it you will regret it because you will always be the pursuer and always wonder why he doesn't make as much effort. the way you begin with a man, or anyone else, is what sets the pattern for the relationship. wouldn't it feel amazing to have him ask you out? that way you wouldn't have to wonder at all. if he isn't asking he isn't interested (enough) Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 He's not doing anything because he doesn't want to. Simple as that. Maybe he wants to stare, but he doesn't want to call you, to go out with you to spend time with you. YOu're making it pretty easy for him -shy or not - to approach you. But still he doesn't. Why not? Because he doesn't want to. Who knows what his reasons are, it doesn't matter. I wouldn't waste my time with him. And if the staring annoys you, then tell him so. Link to post Share on other sites
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