Wake Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 Man, I will admit that I thought for sure I would never come to a sight like this and ask for advice like I am, but Love will make you do crazy things right? The stuff I have read so far has been pretty helpful. My situation: G/f of 5 years broke up with me in September of 04. She broke it off and said she needed time/space/time with freinds (the normal cop out BS) We didnt talk for 2 months until we went back to college. We started talking and seeing each other every once in a while and still being intimate on rare occasions. Then she wigs out for a month and wont talk to me. Over Christmas break she starts clinging to me and I feel like she wants to be with me again, things were perfect. As soon as we go back to school she wigs again, and acts like she doesnt know me. Now I have walked to the moon for this girl. I have never cheated on her, I have always been a perfect gentleman, I cant see what I did wrong, Nothing I suppose. My current situation with her is on and off. One week we are talking and really getting along, then the next she wont talk to me. Now it seems to me that im obviously being strung along. It seems she comes to me when it is conveinant for her. Neither one of us has dated anyone else. I guess Im just waiting around (I know I shouldnt be). What kind of advice can you give me? I want nothing more than to be with this girl. She means everything in this world to me. But the way she has been treating me lately has been very undeserving. We has a TALK and I told her to draw a line in the sand and tell me where we stand. She said "I dont know" "Im still so confused" she cried we made up and things were great for about 4 days LOL. Now she is back at her ways. I want to get back with this girl so bad I cant stand it. But does it seem like I should really just move on along? If I move on it will be the hardest thing in the world to do. Please give me some advice.
Spira Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 If I were you, I would tell her that she needs to decide what she wants with you. No more "I don't know" stuff. You need to know, and you are not going to deal with her hot / cold behavior anymore.
Author Wake Posted January 27, 2005 Author Posted January 27, 2005 I did tell her this...she cried, then said "Well what would happen if we didnt talk anymore...could we still be freinds" I said NO. She then got really upset and apologized and SEEMED like she wanted to be back with me the next week. So basically our convo got cut short by emotions, and that is where we left it. It has been 2 weeks since. Im not going to lie, she is pretty much using me. When she needs something I jump at the occasion (only b/c Im stupidly in love, yes STUPID) and I get nothing in return, a phone call would be nice So I still dont know where we stand and Im really not ready to bring it up again, I may seem redundant. It is is either walk away or something else (feel free to suggest)
DeaconFrost Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 Have you ever told her how all this rollercoaster stuff is killing you? I mean is she really aware how your emotions are tied to this? Have you made her aware of how she is? What I mean by this is is she aware that she is running hot and cold with you? Tell her to put herself in your shoes for once and see what her back and forth bs is doing to you. Dude, my best thought is to not really talk to her for a couple of weeks (or as long as you can I fold real easy here too). You both need some space to really think about what it is that you want and reflect on what went wrong. I mean let's say you do get back together, you both are going to need to figure out what the problems are and why you're 5 year relationship crumbled anyway. This time apart should let her figure out what is really going on. Give her that kind of ultimatium. It also sounds like you're assuming how she feels about things and you are dragging yourself back into it when in reality there may not have been anything to go off in the first place. Be point blank and ask her what she is really thinking and feeling when you are getting these perceived signals of her wanting to get back together. I think anyway you cut it if she really has any interest getting back with you she will agree with you to take a few weeks off with NO CONTACT so you can be with yourself and understand the situation without all the emotion. You need that. If she seems unwilling or hostile to the idea or doesn't really sound interested then face the music and bail. But I think you should start with time off first with a day in which you both agree to reconvene and make a decision. Good luck
her1nonly Posted January 27, 2005 Posted January 27, 2005 same here, only 10 years... only, i'm on the otherside, the "i don't know", and "I'm confused"... you can use up 5 more years and wait along, or stand your ground...which i wish my ex would have done.... she may have a different mindset than you...you want serious commitment, she may not. you're both in college, enjoy it. as soon as u show that you're moving on, she'll want you back...and be very dramatic. make her earn it...so much that you see her change in how she sees commitiment. Really bro, the only way, you'll get somethign out of her, is through action. put your foot down, and keep busy with anything as long as its not with her.
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