skippy88 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I'm 25, haven't been on a date in years and had an epiphany yesterday that in the event that a miracle takes place and i do get a date i wouldn't have a clue what to talk about, other than news headlines.
DorkBreakfast Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Do you have goals? Are you headed in a direction? Do you know any good fart jokes? The burden is not all on you either you know. The other person has to contribute if you want a conversation to be enjoyable and engaging.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I don't know. Sports, music, the weather (it's been unreasonably cold this year where I live, a lot of bad weather too), shows you watch (True Detective is a big one), a recent episode of a cool podcast you listen to. Plans for the summer.
Grumpybutfun Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 My son and daughter, 23 and 21, talk about everything, from sports (my daughter plays lacrosse and rugby and son plays football and baseball) to their careers in engineering and IT. Some of their favorite subjects are human rights and arctic exploration for him and new methods to brew beer and travel to Europe for her. These are the subjects they hate their dates to talk about on first date.....past relationships, politics or religion, reality tv or vapid mainstream music, family issues, and how much money they make. My son hates any talk about clothing, shoes, bags, makeup, her friends and celebrities (he is extremely put off by celebrity worship.) My daughter is more chill, and doesn't really hate anything to mention it. They seem to love dating and don't exhibit the dissatisfaction at dating of the younger crowd on LS. My advice which is timeless is to just have a great time, and not to get your self worth from how other people perceive you because some are shallow and immature. Hope this helps, Grumps
hasaquestion Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Forget about subjects. Talking "about X, then Y, then Z" is the mark of a poor conversationalist. I'm not saying you should babble. But what matters isn't WHAT you talk about, its the ability to engage the other person conversationally. First of all the most important part of being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener. Being a good listener isn't just shutting up and looking at the person when they speak, its processing and evaluating everything they say as they say it. Most people say they are good listeners but aren't. When you're dialed into a conversation, you can look for opportunities to.... 1. Continually branch off the discussion into something different but related when a chance appears. 10x more natural than "changing subjects", and builds momentum. 2. Say something funny. Funny becomes witty when its on the spot and has situational context. You need to be thinking constantly to catch your opportunities to make them laugh. 3. Get people to talk about themselves. Going from "What is your favorite movie" to "What are your goals in life" is unnatural. In one fluid conversation people open up without you having to pry. Don't worry about what to talk about worry about talking well. Its far more important. 1
normal person Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 People talk about their lives and the things happening in their lives. I'm not sure how age specific it is. If I'm seeing someone for the first time, I want to figure out what makes them tick... asking them what they think about Miley Cyrus or the situation in the Ukraine (just random examples) might give me a glimpse but there are more personal ways to get the whole picture.
GravityMan Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 If you're finding yourself "struggling" to come up with things to talk about, or how to word stuff, or how to make the other person laugh...something's wrong. Either you have some sort of mental block and can't get outside your own head, or you two simply don't mesh well at all. When you engage with someone you click well with, conversation usually becomes EASY and doesn't require a lot of thought. It is free-flowing and effortless to a large extent. The humor comes naturally and the entire interaction just "feels right" for the most part. I think this is true for most people, even those who are average conversationally. OTOH, great conversationalists are good at engaging a wide variety of people ranging from kids to the elderly. Including most people they don't relate well to. When it comes to unfamiliar subjects, they have a knack of asking good questions to learn more. Most importantly they are adept at making others feel at ease...and many reserved people will open up big time once they feel comfortable. Overthinking often leads to awkwardness. I second Grumpy's advice to just get out there and have a good time. 1
Chalkdust89 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 My son and daughter, 23 and 21, talk about everything, from sports (my daughter plays lacrosse and rugby and son plays football and baseball) to their careers in engineering and IT. Some of their favorite subjects are human rights and arctic exploration for him and new methods to brew beer and travel to Europe for her. These are the subjects they hate their dates to talk about on first date.....past relationships, politics or religion, reality tv or vapid mainstream music, family issues, and how much money they make. My son hates any talk about clothing, shoes, bags, makeup, her friends and celebrities (he is extremely put off by celebrity worship.) My daughter is more chill, and doesn't really hate anything to mention it. They seem to love dating and don't exhibit the dissatisfaction at dating of the younger crowd on LS. My advice which is timeless is to just have a great time, and not to get your self worth from how other people perceive you because some are shallow and immature. Hope this helps, Grumps Just wanted to say that your kids sound totally awesome! Wish I could meet some 20-somethings like them in my area. Some easy topics: music, traveling, hobbies, what you both did/are doing in school/work (and whether you thought you'd end up doing it), family, interesting stuff happening in the news (though you may want to avoid any controversial topics or topics you're extreeeemely passionate about on a first date). Ideally you would know a little bit about a person before going on a date, so just branch off of what you already know (ex. He is in grad school, ask about his thesis. She plays in a band, ask about her music). Be prepared to answer any questions you'd ask someone else, and just have a conversation like you would with anyone else. The first date is about getting to know someone, and like other people said, the conversation will come easily if you guys have chemistry. I went on a date with a guy who did stand up comedy and started by asking him about how he wrote his jokes, and we ended up sitting in the booth for 6 hours, talking about a ton of different topics without even a minute of awkward silence. The conversation just flowed naturally after that.
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