Deltablues Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) Six weeks ago I ended a beautiful affair -- we had amazing chemistry and a true friendship. We met almost a year ago on a long flight, she was in the seat next to me and started a cathartic conversation, best had with a total stranger, about her dying marriage. I listened quietly about how she had realized years ago that they were incompatible, but that his infidelity had really broken her. My own marriage was dead, and after a couple of hours I opened up myself. We sat in the dark and shared details of our lives and a bond began to form. Fast forward...we began to see each other, were in daily contact, fell in love and became lovers. But our moments were always stolen, and while I found the strength to separate from my wife (and have never regretted it), she waited passively for her husband to leave, and he did not. She alternatively made me very happy, then disappointed me. She was warm, then pulled away. She said she loves me, but needs time to get clarity. So knowing it was the right thing to do, I broke off our relationship, telling her that I love her, but that I want all of her, or nothing. I encouraged her to take time to figure out what she wants, and to call me if she decides we should give it a real try. I have discouraged contact. But I think about her every day, I pine for her. So many things about us were so good, we fit. Every time I receive a text, I hope it is her. On Valentines Day, it was. She wanted to keep some level of contact, and as happy as I was to hear from her, I told her again that I love her, but to leave me alone until she gets that clarity. It is so difficult, how do I stay strong? Part of me wants to move on, part doesn't want to let go. Edited March 18, 2014 by Deltablues 1
Author Deltablues Posted March 29, 2014 Author Posted March 29, 2014 Got a small package from her this week, with mementos, gifts and a short note. I had thought it was over and had tried to move on, but was overjoyed to hear from her. She, too, had tried to leave me behind but could not. We are getting together on Monday. I think NC was worthwhile, as it enabled us both to clear our heads and realize what we mean to each other. Obviously a lot remains to be seen, but we are on a different plane now. 1
Mr Scorpio Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 It seems that you already answered your own question of "how to stay strong", the answer being to maintain NC. I guess we'll see how your meeting with her goes. I don't like the sound of this situation, but it is far out of my realm of experience.
Popsicle Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) 6 weeks is not really that long to "get clarity" during NC. I think she wants to cake eat. Edited March 31, 2014 by Popsicle
Author Deltablues Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Well, our first date after NC went better than we both expected. We were relaxed and simply happy to be back in each other's company. All the affection and chemistry is still there, as well as an underlying friendship and respect. We talk every day again, just like we used to, and there's a new and unspoken feeling that this will last. Thanks Popsicle, I appreciate your comment. Am taking it slowly, but I feel like I have been given back a missing piece of my life.
Recommended Posts