dietpepsi Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 My ex gf got pregnant very recently after we broke up by another man within a week and a half, we have now been broken up for a month. I found out several days ago from her. We were together for a year. I am devastated. She told me that she missed me, and that she loved me with tears in her eyes. We talked for over an hour, she thought that we would get back together before this, she was on the fence about her decision already, and then she rebounded with a guy she used to date 2 1/2 years ago, and then missed her period. She says they are going to try and make it work, but I am so upset because I wanted that to be my baby to be honest. I even told her that, to which she in not so many words said that she wished that it was. She sent me a novel length email about everything I meant to her yesterday, how important I was to her, how I was the only thing that has made her truly happy in the last several years, and that meeting me when she did was a saving grace, and she cant even imagine what she would have turned into had she not met me. Also to be clear, dating each other was never brought up. This is all breaking my heart, my friends say I need to detach, and I know I do. We have seen each other every day and talked since she told me. I'm cutting it off tomorrow, cold turkey, I can't watch her go through this. It will kill me. She said doesn't want me out of her life, i wish that she would say that, but i know she wont. I just dont know what to do with this feeling. It's a sadness deeper than anything I've felt before
somegoodman Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 She told me that she missed me, and that she loved me with tears in her eyes. We talked for over an hour, she thought that we would get back together before this, she was on the fence about her decision already, and then she rebounded with a guy she used to date 2 1/2 years ago, and then missed her period. She says they are going to try and make it work, but I am so upset because I wanted that to be my baby to be honest. I even told her that, to which she in not so many words said that she wished that it was. She sent me a novel length email about everything I meant to her yesterday, how important I was to her, how I was the only thing that has made her truly happy in the last several years, and that meeting me when she did was a saving grace, and she cant even imagine what she would have turned into had she not met me. Also to be clear, dating each other was never brought up. She is saying all of this to make HERSELF feel better. She doesn't care about how you feel and don't fall into the trap of thinking she does. Never talk to her again, even if she's crying and begging (her tears aren't genuine).
Chi townD Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 She made her bed, now she has to lay in it. If she made a mistake, then that's a mistake she'll have to live with because you don't have to. She ran out the door with you and directly into someone else's bed. So much for mourning the loss of you or the relationship. The sad thing is, they won't last. The dude that knocked her up was an Ex. There's a reason why our Ex's are our Ex's.
David87 Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 So your gf sleeps with her ex, the guy gets her pregnant and then she comes to you to cry about what she did. The nerve you ex has. Ignore her, she doesn't deserve to be supported by you because she broke your heart in 1000 pices. You need to start NC and don't look back, she's shallow and may ai ad that she's easy to. I know it's devastating to hear this kind of news but all you need to do now is to focus on yourself. 4
Coping Vortex Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I have been there. In fact my ex told me she wanted me back after the break up and I was the one she really wanted to be with. The next day she found out she was pregnant with his kid. She lost the baby but that experience brought them closer and then I had lost her for good. I'm not sure what any of us can say to you. I know what you are feeling as I stated I have been through it. Just remember that what they are going through is no picnic. The fact they haven't been together that long will likely be the end for them. They don't know each other that well plus they have a kid to take care of? Odds are way against them as a family. I know this sounds strange but my advice to you to cope is to be glad it's not you. It's sounds harsh but remember she will no longer be the person you will remember plus that relationship will most likely not survive. She will be tied to that guy for the rest of her life. She will be going through a lot of healing before she will be herself again. She is hurt and scared and embarrassed I'm sure she even regrets hurting you in the process. Knowing that is the only way to take some sting out of it for you. Some will call it Karma. If you love her feel bad for her as she has a long road. Take solace you are not in that tough position. 1
Author dietpepsi Posted March 18, 2014 Author Posted March 18, 2014 Thanks for all the advice. This just feels like more than I can bear. I break down in tears when I'm alone. I don't know how to start Over at 31 years old. I was going to ask her to marry me this year. I'd been looking at rings for 3-4 months. I'm going to go NC. They had a misscarriage years ago when they were together which eventually led them to split up. Which i do hope does not happen. So I know there is that history that is going to bring them closer this time around with this pregnancy. So I know her confusion will wear off soon, but I just need to go.
somegoodman Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Thanks for all the advice. This just feels like more than I can bear. I break down in tears when I'm alone. I don't know how to start Over at 31 years old. I was going to ask her to marry me this year. I'd been looking at rings for 3-4 months. I'm going to go NC. They had a misscarriage years ago when they were together which eventually led them to split up. Which i do hope does not happen. So I know there is that history that is going to bring them closer this time around with this pregnancy. So I know her confusion will wear off soon, but I just need to go. Man, you need to drastically change your outlook. At 31 years old you are pretty much at your peak value as a man. You presumably have some measure of financial stability and years of experience with women under your belt. Now it is time to go get yours. Your value is higher than hers and you can increase it with enough work and dedication. Her value literally decreases with each passing day. If you let her bring you down and break you then you are giving her exactly what she wants. Men age like wine. Women age like beer. Soon clarity will sink in and you'll realize that you didn't just dodge a bullet, but a freight train. 3
Mr.Pine Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Thanks for all the advice. This just feels like more than I can bear. I break down in tears when I'm alone. I don't know how to start Over at 31 years old. I was going to ask her to marry me this year. I'd been looking at rings for 3-4 months. I'm going to go NC. They had a misscarriage years ago when they were together which eventually led them to split up. Which i do hope does not happen. So I know there is that history that is going to bring them closer this time around with this pregnancy. So I know her confusion will wear off soon, but I just need to go. Start over at 31? Brother... try starting over in your 40s, like I am. Lost my job, my apartment, my girl and my cat; all in the same damn week. I miss the cat the most, funnily enough. If ever there was a sign to move on, this is it. She was knocked up by her ex. They were meant to be together. Let them bring up their love child together. If you stay in the relationship, you will be dealing with her ex EVERY DAMN DAY since he is the father. Run, do not walk, to the nearest liquor store and get yourself a two-four of whatever beverage, go NC and be thankful of the turn of events. Much luck, brother. Reach out any time for more doses of painful, pragmatic reality. 1
Babolat Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Start over at 31? Brother... try starting over in your 40s, like I am. Lost my job, my apartment, my girl and my cat; all in the same damn week. I miss the cat the most, funnily enough. If ever there was a sign to move on, this is it. She was knocked up by her ex. They were meant to be together. Let them bring up their love child together. If you stay in the relationship, you will be dealing with her ex EVERY DAMN DAY since he is the father. Run, do not walk, to the nearest liquor store and get yourself a two-four of whatever beverage, go NC and be thankful of the turn of events. Much luck, brother. Reach out any time for more doses of painful, pragmatic reality. Agreed. I started over at 44, 47 now and happier than I have been in years. I'm "alone", but not lonely. Don't have a pitty party my friend. Listen to those here who are telling you to run, and go NC. 1
L1ght Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Ugh....brutal. That has got to be the worst. An ex gf getting pregnant straight after breaking up with you. Sorry dude. You can't trust her whatsoever and need to run as fast as you can a million miles in the opposite direction. She is crazy sending you love letters after she did that. You are lucky and dodged a bullet....what do you think shes gonna do to the guy shes with now if she's still trying to string you and god knows how many other men along? Just leave dude. Just leave.
No Limit Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Dude, run. She probably jsut doesn't know how her ex will react and now needs some security. Financial security that is. Just run as fast as you can, this isn't worth it.
AlphaC Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) Start over at 31? Brother... try starting over in your 40s, like I am. Lost my job, my apartment, my girl and my cat; all in the same damn week. I miss the cat the most, funnily enough. If ever there was a sign to move on, this is it. She was knocked up by her ex. They were meant to be together. Let them bring up their love child together. If you stay in the relationship, you will be dealing with her ex EVERY DAMN DAY since he is the father. Run, do not walk, to the nearest liquor store and get yourself a two-four of whatever beverage, go NC and be thankful of the turn of events. Much luck, brother. Reach out any time for more doses of painful, pragmatic reality. Dude, sorry to hear about your cat, that blows! The job, apartment, gf and just about anything else is replaceable but not a pet. Lastly, this is why us MEN must go NO CONTACT after a break up. How many times must you hear this for it to sink in?? WOMEN NEVER DUMP A MAN TO BE BY THEMSELVES, they always have someone lined up. Men are strong, we can be alone after a break up but not women. Women are prone to have rebounds whether they dump you or not, they can't take being alone. Every time i read that a GUY on LS contacted his ex he hears the same story " I MET SOMEONE AFTER WE BROKE UP" and he is like, "Babe WE JUST BROKE UP LAST NIGHT and Today you are RELATIONSHIP?""" COME ON BRO, COME ON BRO - OP GO out and celebrate, god hooked you up brother, you a single man and can pursue a good partner!! Now for all the dudes, wake the hell up, once a woman leaves you , you disappear!!! I haven't contacted my ex since she left me, i moved on by blocking her on social media and changing my phone number. I gave myself two months to heal and one month extra to hit the gym and get my body hard so women could appreciate my pecs. Now I have a new girl, i don't care about my ex, she was the girl in my life from another era, I am writing a new chapter with a sweeter, hotter, sexier and smarter woman. I was down just like everyone else but I am also a man who respects himself and holds his head up high. peace Edited March 18, 2014 by AlphaC felt like adding more info 1
Mr.Pine Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Dude, sorry to hear about your cat, that blows! The job, apartment, gf and just about anything else is replaceable but not a pet. Lastly, this is why us MEN must go NO CONTACT after a break up. How many times must you hear this for it to sink in?? WOMEN NEVER DUMP A MAN TO BE BY THEMSELVES, they always have someone lined up. Men are strong, we can be alone after a break up but not women. Women are prone to have rebounds whether they dump you or not, they can't take being alone. Every time i read that a GUY on LS contacted his ex he hears the same story " I MET SOMEONE AFTER WE BROKE UP" and he is like, "Babe WE JUST BROKE UP LAST NIGHT and Today you are RELATIONSHIP?""" COME ON BRO, COME ON BRO - OP GO out and celebrate, god hooked you up brother, you a single man and can pursue a good partner!! Now for all the dudes, wake the hell up, once a woman leaves you , you disappear!!! I haven't contacted my ex since she left me, i moved on by blocking her on social media and changing my phone number. I gave myself two months to heal and one month extra to hit the gym and get my body hard so women could appreciate my pecs. Now I have a new girl, i don't care about my ex, she was the girl in my life from another era, I am writing a new chapter with a sweeter, hotter, sexier and smarter woman. I was down just like everyone else but I am also a man who respects himself and holds his head up high. peace You, sir, I like...
Recommended Posts