Pocky Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 How can I not always think in my head that I could do better or that I deserve more, even if he knows in his heart he is not that person anymore? And why do you seem to think this is wrong? Sounds like you already know but you're too afraid to take the first step.
Podna Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Nobody can tell you how you should about it. Betrayal on that magnitude is intensely personal. What I can tell you is that people can forgive and sometimes except that kind of betrayal, but rarely will they ever forget. It puts a kind of poison into the relationship that lasts forever. My advice would have been to never take him back, but it’s a little late for that so I guess at this point you need to decide if you can live with the poison, or if maybe you need to find a new relationship where the poison does not exist. However; I am somewhat of a cynic so perhaps I am full of crapola.
Author babybear Posted January 30, 2005 Author Posted January 30, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky And why do you seem to think this is wrong? Sounds like you already know but you're too afraid to take the first step. It's SO weird. After it happened, I was sad and mad, and the whole range of emotions. He begged for me back, and for a while, things were SO great. My unhappiness just came one day out of nowhere! I don't know what happened. One day I was accepting it, and one day I absolutely wanted no part of it. Now, I'm acting towards him like I want nothing to do with him, and he's wondering what happened! He doesnt really know what it is...but he just thinks I'm a little distant...and perhaps just preoccupied with some other things. I don't know what turned me off over night! Babybear
Author babybear Posted January 30, 2005 Author Posted January 30, 2005 Originally posted by Stylin22 Are you disappointed bear? Yea, I am disappointed. But it's more than that. It's knowing that we've been fighting a lot lately, and knowing that "to be or not to be together when I go to med school" has created so much drama. And it's knowing that I'd do an LDR in a heartbeat had it not been for his cheating. So, I am just deeply resentful of the problems he has caused. I'm probably angry with myself more than anything, for not seeing HOW wrong he was in the beginning, for taking him back - getting reattached, and then 2 yrs later realizing the magnitude of his actions. Oh well, live and learn. I feel like I am just getting my head on straight, and I have confidence in myself to know what is right. It's finding the strength to do it that is hard!!! Babybear
Stylin22 Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 You'll be fine bear...I have total confidence in you as you head into your mental health field. Actually, you'll probably be better thought out than I am...I'm doing the same thing so maybe we'll meet up at a conference or something and reminisce over 'ol shack days...
Pocky Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Originally posted by babybear Now, I'm acting towards him like I want nothing to do with him, and he's wondering what happened! He doesnt really know what it is...but he just thinks I'm a little distant...and perhaps just preoccupied with some other things. I don't know what turned me off over night! Babybear Welcome to realization. This is generally what happens with women. We'll go through the motions, try and make things work, convince ourselves that we're happy and then one day it's like hitting a wall. Suddenly, you're fed up with it, you realize you dislike the person you're with and you end up hating the entire situation. We try so hard to be patient and understanding that we can sometimes delude ourselves that everything is okay when it really isn't..
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