melell Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Married 5 years. Mid 40's. Husbands ex (were together 4 years, lived together in their 20's) phones to say she would like to catch up and she will be in his city over easter. Husband responds being very welcoming offering to take her out and show her around etc. Is this appropriate?
2.50 a gallon Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 No Way! Just by asking the question, tells me you already know the answer
PegNosePete Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Did he tell her that you'll be coming along too?
acrosstheuniverse Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 Sometimes very distant exes can be more like old friends. It's nice to see them, and what they're up to in their lives now. But I firmly believe that partners should be included too. Most people would be uncomfortable with their partner meeting up with an ex (most, not all, but most). That doesn't mean it shouldn't happen, but in order to make sure that you feel okay about it too, in my opinion he should have said 'oh that sounds great, it'll be nice to catch up! You're going to love melell too, she's heard all about you' or something to that effect, ya know?
Standard-Fare Posted March 18, 2014 Posted March 18, 2014 I can understand why you'd be completely uncomfortable with that. At the same time, you gotta approach this delicately, because you don't really have the right to issue an ultimatum. If he wants to see someone from his past and there's no foul intent, he can do that without your permission. And you really should have enough trust in your husband to know it's completely innocent and not a threat to your relationship. If you're cool with being there with them (I wouldn't be), that could be a good offer for you to make. If you're not, maybe tell your husband something like "I know this isn't a big deal, but it makes me feel a little weird" and ask if he could make a couple of concessions out of respect for you, like limiting it to under two hours.
mukkrakker Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Is this appropriate? For him, yes, he's "offering to take her out and show her around" Oh and "etc"
Emilia Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Married 5 years. Mid 40's. Husbands ex (were together 4 years, lived together in their 20's) phones to say she would like to catch up and she will be in his city over easter. Husband responds being very welcoming offering to take her out and show her around etc. Is this appropriate? Yes of course it is. It's great to catch up with exes sometimes when you haven't seen them for ages.
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