Getting into the dating scene and meeting new people (kind of venting here)

[Musing]

So I am not so sure I am looking for a full-blown relationship at the moment but I do feel ready to go on dates. The weather is getting nicer outside and my mood has gone up a bit so I figured, simple dating and meeting others can't hurt. I enjoy newness and excitement.

 

I guess I am here to vent though. It's gotten a little more challenging than it did a few years ago..

 

My friend convinced me to do OLD and so far, I suppose in the numbers-sense it's been successful. In the first 3 days I neared 500 messages and have spoken to about a dozen guys.

(It's a free site, so that's probably explains the large influx of messages)

It is a bit overwhelming but it is not really common to find someone I feel I can click with despite having many contacts.

Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of conversations fizzle out, and of the three or four guys I've messaged and taken a strong interest in, none have reciprocated but it seems almost everyone else has. It's kind of frustrating, I'm finding.

I am still talking to others to see where it goes, though.

 

I suppose I hit a bit of a snag, no one seems to be standing out to me anywhere - school, OLD, anywhere. I don't really want to lead anyone on just for the sake of going on a date, I've casually dated in the past and some guys get very clingy (surprisingly enough) So I like to feel like I have a decent shot at seeing these guys for more than just a meetup.

 

I feel almost pressured in a sense, as I graduate soon and feel OLD is the only route I'll have to meet new people. Everyone says to pursue hobbies and outings but even if/when I go to outings or conventions, most people are there to look around and usually go with friends (as do I) so it feels creepy to me to approach guys there.

 

I have no idea how two people over 24 properly meet one another and hit it off in real life (bars excluded) I'd like to use OLD sort of as a back up measure or a means to simply meet people along with others alternatives, but I don't really know what those others alternatives are. I met my ex in class but he was 4 years younger than me and I'm not trying to date 18-21 year old guys at my school. One was more than enough, I want someone at least my own age if not older.

 

I wish I was 17 again, meeting and dating were so much easier it seems

[Lyn77]

I am actually in the same situation as you.

I have tried OLD, but find it exhausting, almost like ordering off a menu...and I wonder how many guys use the OLD sites as their "Little Black Book"

To have easy women at their beckoned call.

[ctxinfl]

In regard to OLD, you don't know the person until you meet them face-to-face. It's difficult to gauge how interested you are in a person over email and text. Those are decent avenues for quickly filtering out the complete undesirables, though don't rely upon them for anything more than that.

[ctxinfl]

I am actually in the same situation as you.

I have tried OLD, but find it exhausting, almost like ordering off a menu...and I wonder how many guys use the OLD sites as their "Little Black Book"

To have easy women at their beckoned call.

 

Very few I would imagine. The number of replies men get back from OLD is minuscule. I would never equate the word "easy" with OLD.

[Damaged217]

Girrrl, I was in your same exact shoes last year. It was definitely much easier meeting guys in college and what not. I had the same problem of not being able to meet decent guys out in public. It's rough. I did the whole OLD thing for a year and I still don't know how I dealt with all the flakiness of the guys on there. Of course, I was looking for something serious and no one on there was. That was my main problem. Buuuuut, the last guy I spoke to right before I deleted my account...well, we've been dating for the past 4 months :-) So you CAN meet a decent guy on there, but you have to have patience.

 

 

Have you tried switching up your profile? I found that every time I changed mine up, I attracted a different set of guys. And I think you should still pursue your hobbies. Just don't go there with the intentions of finding a date. Just look to make friends. Those new friends will have other friends that you may like to date :-)

[RogerWallace111]

Feel ya. What kind of area do you live in ?

 

If you take OLD out of the picture, it seems like work and school are generally the only ways people have new romantic opportunities with any regularity. Some hobbies might, under the right circumstances, put you around good dating candidates but only if you're associating with the right demographic.

 

I'm three years out of school, and was in a relationship til 1.5 ago, but in the past year it's really become apparent how much that **** really doesn't just come to you fatefully. My job provides no social opportunities, online dating proved to be a pain in the ass the times i gave it a shot, and my friends are so scattered around that no one new's entering the picture via my social circle. And I'm not into the girls who hang in the local bars. So, unless you happen to do ballroom dancing with a fluctuating crew of like-minded twenty-somethings, or... I don't know what the f*ck, you're kinda boned. I've resolved to be chatty to girls on the street or anywhere out and about but I've yet to get militant enough about it to even make a date.

 

So, basically, if school/work don't provide you with the social and accompanying romantic opportunities you need, you have to find some way to force it. Those options are basically- online dating, approaching strangers in public, and engaging in an activity you think good matches might.

 

The third is probably the only way